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Old September 19th, 2005, 02:30 PM   #1
Sweet Miasma
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Default hyderabadi jokes....

these are old....but here they are

You are a true Hyderabadi if:

1. Your address reads as 23-404-32/67A-43 (New MCH number
56-678/4A/B-22),while you actually live in the second house beside Zamzam cafe in lane behind Anand Theatre on SP Road.

2. You end up buying only a salwar kameez, whether it is a theatre workshop, food mela, consumer expo, designer jewellery show, science show or an automobile convention.

3. Your street has at least one roadside mobile hotel that serves Chinese delicacies such as "Vegetable soft needles", "Navrotten Kurma", "Chicken Manchewurea" or "American Chompsee".

4. Your answer is 'seedha chale jao' when somebody asks you for directions,whether it is to Malakpet, Masab Tank, Malkajgiri or Moosapet.

5. You come across tailors sporting the board: Immidiot delivery in two days onli.

6.You can speak Hindi, Urdu, hyderabadi hinglish, except Telugu, fluently.

7.You ask the waiter to get you some 'Mango pickle' even if you are sitting at a lavish continental banquet dinner with exotic Chinese, Mexican,Italian and Lebanese cuisines.

9. You order for a tea just after having had a Caramel custard.

10. You have at least one Srinivas,Prasad, Raju or Venkatesh within six square feet. OR you have at least one cousin, friend, colleague or acquaintance with these names.

11. You have at least one cousin, friend, colleague or acquaintance in the US in software.

12. Everytime somebody gives you a piece of good news, the first thing you ask them is 'Party kab hain?'

13. Refer to any past as 'parso', be it yesterday or long before three hundred years.

14. You call 11 AM as subah subah.

15. You label your boss as 'Dimakh Kharab'

16. You are 15 minutes late and you feel you are on time.

16. You look at the fixed price stand and still ask 'dene ka bolo'

18. You are reading this and secretly admitting that you are, after all, a true blue Hyderabadi.


---------------------------------------------------------
another one....in hydro urdu
kinda lonnnnnnng

This is one of the classiest Hyderabadi joke you may ever come across.....
It's an old Hyderabadi nugget... Enjoy this..it is
really funny if u know Hyderabadi slang!

In Hyderabad we have our own little Johnny. His name
is Chotu. His father is ambitious to educate Chotu. Chotu goes to school
located in Tappachaputra. Its principal is educated in Urdu high
school and claims that he passed tenth class!

There is a school inspection the next day and the
conversation is as
follows :

Teacher, "Kal inispector ayinga. Kochchanaa
(questions) puchinga. Sab
achchaa padkey aau. Koi galath answer deengaa naa tho
main uske pairaan thodtoon."

Chotu, "Iski maakki. Kyun aara inispector? Kaam nai
hai usku? Kya kochchanaa puchta kathey?"

Teacher, "Abey tereku kaiku re, tu kal school aanaaich
nai. Tu tera moo khola to gaaliaan nikaltay. Tereku
main absent nai daalthaun. Ghar pe
baithkey gotiyaan khel. Tu school aayingaa to
inispector ke saamney
mere izzat ki biryaani karke khaaingaa tu."

So our Chotu is excited, goes home and tells his
father that he is not going to school the next day.

Father, "Yeah kyaa hai..ischool hai paan dabba hai?
Gaand pay maartoon saale tu ischool nai gaya to!"

Chotu, "Arey Bava, mera teacher bola nakko aao bolke."

Father, "Usku akhal hai! Begum suno! Chotu ischool nai
jayinga kathey kal.
Agar ino ischool nai gaya to kaise padhinga? Chotu,
agar tu kal ischool nahin gaya naa, tere haathan
pairaan thod daaltaun."

So Chotu cries and finally agrees to go to school.
Next day at inschool,
the teacher is very upset to see Chotu back.

Teacher, "Arey teri maakki. Nakko aao bole to bhi kyun
aaya re?"

Chotu, "Mera bava gaand phodtaon bola ischool nai gaya
to."

Teacher, "Offo! Tera bava bola? Theek hai chal. Last
bench pe baith aur inispector aya to chhup jaa...
Dikhnaich nai. Kuch bhi gadbad karinga naa
meri noukri gaand lag jayingi."

So Chotu goes and sits on the last bench hiding behind
a tall guy. Inspector comes for the visit.

Inspector, "Adaab."

Teacher, "Adaab saab. Bachen acha padrain saab.
Kochchanaa puchey to answeraan yun bolte."

Inspector, "Abaa? Offo! Ithney kilever(clever) hai
aapke bachchey? Achchaa, ek bahuth easy sawaal -
Hamarey body mein sab se nazook cheez kaun si
hai?"

Teacher, "Arey Imtiyaz tu bata rey!"

Imtiyaz, "Saab, Kaleja saab."

Inspector, "Aisa! ...... woh kyun?"

Imtiyaz, "Saab, kaleja hai to sab kuch hota. Agar who
gaya naa, kuch bhi nahin hota saab!"

Inspector, "Abaa, kya tez potta hai rey! Aur koi?"

Teacher, "Arey Akram, tu bata re."

Akram, "Saab bheja saab. Bhejey ku khuch bhi hua to
kuch yaad nahin rehta
saab. Haathaan pairaan kaam nai karthey,iscooter ku
kick bhi nai maar sakthey saab."

Inspector, "Abey Teacher, kya kya padaaraa re inku tu.
Chutiye ke jaiseich answeraan bolrai naa!!"

In the meantime Chotu is trying very hard to hide but
Inspector sees him. He thinks Chotu is hiding because
he does not know the answer.

Inspector, "Woh last bench pe yun jhuk ke baithaa naa
woh pottey ka naam kya hai?"

Teacher, "Kaun saab? .......Woh! (iski bhain ku, kaiku
dikhaa re tu) Woh Chotu hai saab."

Inspector, "Chotu? Ye kya naam hai? Kahan-kahan se
lagaathey re bhai naamaan! Chotu, woh lambu ke
peechchey kaiku chchup raa tu?"

Chotu, "Saab main moo khola to teacher maaringi saab."

Inspector, "Tereku yaa mereku??"

Teacher, "Arey kya baath kar reh saab, main kaiku
maarthaum aapku. Ye potta ekdam badmaash hai saab,
jhoot bolraa. Abey Chotu, answer maloom hain to
bol nai tho khaamoosh baith jaa mere baap tere pau
padthaum."

Chotu, "Saab answer Gaand hai saab."

Teacher, "Allah!! Ino moo khola to meri gaand lag gayi
re!!!"

Inspector, "Abey kyaa to bhi bolra re! Sharam kar
badon ke saamney aisaich baathaan karthey! Yeich
sikhaaye tumhaarey amma-bavaa? Gaand kahaan
kaa answer hai re?"

Chotu, "Hau saab, gaand ich sabse naazook cheez hai.
Kaiku boletho wahaan pe dilli mein baamb phata, to
yahan Hydrabad mein apni gaand phat
thi...

Yahaan old city mein gadbadaan shuru hothey, wahaan
new city mein sabki gaand phat thi... Uttaa kyoon
saab, main yeh answer bolraun naa, mere
teacher ki gaand phatrai dekho!"
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Old September 19th, 2005, 02:37 PM   #2
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Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Sweet Miasma
these are old....but here they are

You are a true Hyderabadi if:

1. Your address reads as 23-404-32/67A-43 (New MCH number
56-678/4A/B-22),while you actually live in the second house beside Zamzam cafe in lane behind Anand Theatre on SP Road.

2. You end up buying only a salwar kameez, whether it is a theatre workshop, food mela, consumer expo, designer jewellery show, science show or an automobile convention.

3. Your street has at least one roadside mobile hotel that serves Chinese delicacies such as "Vegetable soft needles", "Navrotten Kurma", "Chicken Manchewurea" or "American Chompsee".

4. Your answer is 'seedha chale jao' when somebody asks you for directions,whether it is to Malakpet, Masab Tank, Malkajgiri or Moosapet.

5. You come across tailors sporting the board: Immidiot delivery in two days onli.

6.You can speak Hindi, Urdu, hyderabadi hinglish, except Telugu, fluently.

7.You ask the waiter to get you some 'Mango pickle' even if you are sitting at a lavish continental banquet dinner with exotic Chinese, Mexican,Italian and Lebanese cuisines.

9. You order for a tea just after having had a Caramel custard.

10. You have at least one Srinivas,Prasad, Raju or Venkatesh within six square feet. OR you have at least one cousin, friend, colleague or acquaintance with these names.

11. You have at least one cousin, friend, colleague or acquaintance in the US in software.

12. Everytime somebody gives you a piece of good news, the first thing you ask them is 'Party kab hain?'

13. Refer to any past as 'parso', be it yesterday or long before three hundred years.

14. You call 11 AM as subah subah.

15. You label your boss as 'Dimakh Kharab'

16. You are 15 minutes late and you feel you are on time.

16. You look at the fixed price stand and still ask 'dene ka bolo'

18. You are reading this and secretly admitting that you are, after all, a true blue Hyderabadi.


---------------------------------------------------------
another one....in hydro urdu
kinda lonnnnnnng

This is one of the classiest Hyderabadi joke you may ever come across.....
It's an old Hyderabadi nugget... Enjoy this..it is
really funny if u know Hyderabadi slang!

In Hyderabad we have our own little Johnny. His name
is Chotu. His father is ambitious to educate Chotu. Chotu goes to school
located in Tappachaputra. Its principal is educated in Urdu high
school and claims that he passed tenth class!

There is a school inspection the next day and the
conversation is as
follows :

Teacher, "Kal inispector ayinga. Kochchanaa
(questions) puchinga. Sab
achchaa padkey aau. Koi galath answer deengaa naa tho
main uske pairaan thodtoon."

Chotu, "Iski maakki. Kyun aara inispector? Kaam nai
hai usku? Kya kochchanaa puchta kathey?"

Teacher, "Abey tereku kaiku re, tu kal school aanaaich
nai. Tu tera moo khola to gaaliaan nikaltay. Tereku
main absent nai daalthaun. Ghar pe
baithkey gotiyaan khel. Tu school aayingaa to
inispector ke saamney
mere izzat ki biryaani karke khaaingaa tu."

So our Chotu is excited, goes home and tells his
father that he is not going to school the next day.

Father, "Yeah kyaa hai..ischool hai paan dabba hai?
Gaand pay maartoon saale tu ischool nai gaya to!"

Chotu, "Arey Bava, mera teacher bola nakko aao bolke."

Father, "Usku akhal hai! Begum suno! Chotu ischool nai
jayinga kathey kal.
Agar ino ischool nai gaya to kaise padhinga? Chotu,
agar tu kal ischool nahin gaya naa, tere haathan
pairaan thod daaltaun."

So Chotu cries and finally agrees to go to school.
Next day at inschool,
the teacher is very upset to see Chotu back.

Teacher, "Arey teri maakki. Nakko aao bole to bhi kyun
aaya re?"

Chotu, "Mera bava gaand phodtaon bola ischool nai gaya
to."

Teacher, "Offo! Tera bava bola? Theek hai chal. Last
bench pe baith aur inispector aya to chhup jaa...
Dikhnaich nai. Kuch bhi gadbad karinga naa
meri noukri gaand lag jayingi."

So Chotu goes and sits on the last bench hiding behind
a tall guy. Inspector comes for the visit.

Inspector, "Adaab."

Teacher, "Adaab saab. Bachen acha padrain saab.
Kochchanaa puchey to answeraan yun bolte."

Inspector, "Abaa? Offo! Ithney kilever(clever) hai
aapke bachchey? Achchaa, ek bahuth easy sawaal -
Hamarey body mein sab se nazook cheez kaun si
hai?"

Teacher, "Arey Imtiyaz tu bata rey!"

Imtiyaz, "Saab, Kaleja saab."

Inspector, "Aisa! ...... woh kyun?"

Imtiyaz, "Saab, kaleja hai to sab kuch hota. Agar who
gaya naa, kuch bhi nahin hota saab!"

Inspector, "Abaa, kya tez potta hai rey! Aur koi?"

Teacher, "Arey Akram, tu bata re."

Akram, "Saab bheja saab. Bhejey ku khuch bhi hua to
kuch yaad nahin rehta
saab. Haathaan pairaan kaam nai karthey,iscooter ku
kick bhi nai maar sakthey saab."

Inspector, "Abey Teacher, kya kya padaaraa re inku tu.
Chutiye ke jaiseich answeraan bolrai naa!!"

In the meantime Chotu is trying very hard to hide but
Inspector sees him. He thinks Chotu is hiding because
he does not know the answer.

Inspector, "Woh last bench pe yun jhuk ke baithaa naa
woh pottey ka naam kya hai?"

Teacher, "Kaun saab? .......Woh! (iski bhain ku, kaiku
dikhaa re tu) Woh Chotu hai saab."

Inspector, "Chotu? Ye kya naam hai? Kahan-kahan se
lagaathey re bhai naamaan! Chotu, woh lambu ke
peechchey kaiku chchup raa tu?"

Chotu, "Saab main moo khola to teacher maaringi saab."

Inspector, "Tereku yaa mereku??"

Teacher, "Arey kya baath kar reh saab, main kaiku
maarthaum aapku. Ye potta ekdam badmaash hai saab,
jhoot bolraa. Abey Chotu, answer maloom hain to
bol nai tho khaamoosh baith jaa mere baap tere pau
padthaum."

Chotu, "Saab answer Gaand hai saab."

Teacher, "Allah!! Ino moo khola to meri gaand lag gayi
re!!!"

Inspector, "Abey kyaa to bhi bolra re! Sharam kar
badon ke saamney aisaich baathaan karthey! Yeich
sikhaaye tumhaarey amma-bavaa? Gaand kahaan
kaa answer hai re?"

Chotu, "Hau saab, gaand ich sabse naazook cheez hai.
Kaiku boletho wahaan pe dilli mein baamb phata, to
yahan Hydrabad mein apni gaand phat
thi...

Yahaan old city mein gadbadaan shuru hothey, wahaan
new city mein sabki gaand phat thi... Uttaa kyoon
saab, main yeh answer bolraun naa, mere
teacher ki gaand phatrai dekho!"

i like the hydrabadi hindi accent......i hear it in lot of hindi movies..funny
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Old September 19th, 2005, 02:37 PM   #3
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omg urdu joke was hilarious
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Old September 19th, 2005, 02:43 PM   #4
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Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Sweet Miasma
these are old....but here they are

You are a true Hyderabadi if:

1. Your address reads as 23-404-32/67A-43 (New MCH number
56-678/4A/B-22),while you actually live in the second house beside Zamzam cafe in lane behind Anand Theatre on SP Road.

2. You end up buying only a salwar kameez, whether it is a theatre workshop, food mela, consumer expo, designer jewellery show, science show or an automobile convention.

3. Your street has at least one roadside mobile hotel that serves Chinese delicacies such as "Vegetable soft needles", "Navrotten Kurma", "Chicken Manchewurea" or "American Chompsee".

4. Your answer is 'seedha chale jao' when somebody asks you for directions,whether it is to Malakpet, Masab Tank, Malkajgiri or Moosapet.

5. You come across tailors sporting the board: Immidiot delivery in two days onli.

6.You can speak Hindi, Urdu, hyderabadi hinglish, except Telugu, fluently.

7.You ask the waiter to get you some 'Mango pickle' even if you are sitting at a lavish continental banquet dinner with exotic Chinese, Mexican,Italian and Lebanese cuisines.

9. You order for a tea just after having had a Caramel custard.

10. You have at least one Srinivas,Prasad, Raju or Venkatesh within six square feet. OR you have at least one cousin, friend, colleague or acquaintance with these names.

11. You have at least one cousin, friend, colleague or acquaintance in the US in software.

12. Everytime somebody gives you a piece of good news, the first thing you ask them is 'Party kab hain?'

13. Refer to any past as 'parso', be it yesterday or long before three hundred years.

14. You call 11 AM as subah subah.

15. You label your boss as 'Dimakh Kharab'

16. You are 15 minutes late and you feel you are on time.

16. You look at the fixed price stand and still ask 'dene ka bolo'

18. You are reading this and secretly admitting that you are, after all, a true blue Hyderabadi.


---------------------------------------------------------
another one....in hydro urdu
kinda lonnnnnnng

This is one of the classiest Hyderabadi joke you may ever come across.....
It's an old Hyderabadi nugget... Enjoy this..it is
really funny if u know Hyderabadi slang!

In Hyderabad we have our own little Johnny. His name
is Chotu. His father is ambitious to educate Chotu. Chotu goes to school
located in Tappachaputra. Its principal is educated in Urdu high
school and claims that he passed tenth class!

There is a school inspection the next day and the
conversation is as
follows :

Teacher, "Kal inispector ayinga. Kochchanaa
(questions) puchinga. Sab
achchaa padkey aau. Koi galath answer deengaa naa tho
main uske pairaan thodtoon."

Chotu, "Iski maakki. Kyun aara inispector? Kaam nai
hai usku? Kya kochchanaa puchta kathey?"

Teacher, "Abey tereku kaiku re, tu kal school aanaaich
nai. Tu tera moo khola to gaaliaan nikaltay. Tereku
main absent nai daalthaun. Ghar pe
baithkey gotiyaan khel. Tu school aayingaa to
inispector ke saamney
mere izzat ki biryaani karke khaaingaa tu."

So our Chotu is excited, goes home and tells his
father that he is not going to school the next day.

Father, "Yeah kyaa hai..ischool hai paan dabba hai?
Gaand pay maartoon saale tu ischool nai gaya to!"

Chotu, "Arey Bava, mera teacher bola nakko aao bolke."

Father, "Usku akhal hai! Begum suno! Chotu ischool nai
jayinga kathey kal.
Agar ino ischool nai gaya to kaise padhinga? Chotu,
agar tu kal ischool nahin gaya naa, tere haathan
pairaan thod daaltaun."

So Chotu cries and finally agrees to go to school.
Next day at inschool,
the teacher is very upset to see Chotu back.

Teacher, "Arey teri maakki. Nakko aao bole to bhi kyun
aaya re?"

Chotu, "Mera bava gaand phodtaon bola ischool nai gaya
to."

Teacher, "Offo! Tera bava bola? Theek hai chal. Last
bench pe baith aur inispector aya to chhup jaa...
Dikhnaich nai. Kuch bhi gadbad karinga naa
meri noukri gaand lag jayingi."

So Chotu goes and sits on the last bench hiding behind
a tall guy. Inspector comes for the visit.

Inspector, "Adaab."

Teacher, "Adaab saab. Bachen acha padrain saab.
Kochchanaa puchey to answeraan yun bolte."

Inspector, "Abaa? Offo! Ithney kilever(clever) hai
aapke bachchey? Achchaa, ek bahuth easy sawaal -
Hamarey body mein sab se nazook cheez kaun si
hai?"

Teacher, "Arey Imtiyaz tu bata rey!"

Imtiyaz, "Saab, Kaleja saab."

Inspector, "Aisa! ...... woh kyun?"

Imtiyaz, "Saab, kaleja hai to sab kuch hota. Agar who
gaya naa, kuch bhi nahin hota saab!"

Inspector, "Abaa, kya tez potta hai rey! Aur koi?"

Teacher, "Arey Akram, tu bata re."

Akram, "Saab bheja saab. Bhejey ku khuch bhi hua to
kuch yaad nahin rehta
saab. Haathaan pairaan kaam nai karthey,iscooter ku
kick bhi nai maar sakthey saab."

Inspector, "Abey Teacher, kya kya padaaraa re inku tu.
Chutiye ke jaiseich answeraan bolrai naa!!"

In the meantime Chotu is trying very hard to hide but
Inspector sees him. He thinks Chotu is hiding because
he does not know the answer.

Inspector, "Woh last bench pe yun jhuk ke baithaa naa
woh pottey ka naam kya hai?"

Teacher, "Kaun saab? .......Woh! (iski bhain ku, kaiku
dikhaa re tu) Woh Chotu hai saab."

Inspector, "Chotu? Ye kya naam hai? Kahan-kahan se
lagaathey re bhai naamaan! Chotu, woh lambu ke
peechchey kaiku chchup raa tu?"

Chotu, "Saab main moo khola to teacher maaringi saab."

Inspector, "Tereku yaa mereku??"

Teacher, "Arey kya baath kar reh saab, main kaiku
maarthaum aapku. Ye potta ekdam badmaash hai saab,
jhoot bolraa. Abey Chotu, answer maloom hain to
bol nai tho khaamoosh baith jaa mere baap tere pau
padthaum."

Chotu, "Saab answer Gaand hai saab."

Teacher, "Allah!! Ino moo khola to meri gaand lag gayi
re!!!"

Inspector, "Abey kyaa to bhi bolra re! Sharam kar
badon ke saamney aisaich baathaan karthey! Yeich
sikhaaye tumhaarey amma-bavaa? Gaand kahaan
kaa answer hai re?"

Chotu, "Hau saab, gaand ich sabse naazook cheez hai.
Kaiku boletho wahaan pe dilli mein baamb phata, to
yahan Hydrabad mein apni gaand phat
thi...

Yahaan old city mein gadbadaan shuru hothey, wahaan
new city mein sabki gaand phat thi... Uttaa kyoon
saab, main yeh answer bolraun naa, mere
teacher ki gaand phatrai dekho!"
so fuckin funny
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Old September 19th, 2005, 02:44 PM   #5
Sweet Miasma
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i need more hyderabadi jokes....ive been looking for them
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Old September 19th, 2005, 02:46 PM   #6
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lol i wonder why hydro didnt post in here
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Old September 19th, 2005, 02:48 PM   #7
Sweet Miasma
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here is another...

i heard this from an uncle..
there was a Memon guy in Hyderabad once...and everyone would make fun of how kanjoos (stingy) memons are.....so one day he gets sick and goes to the doctor. the doc orders a urine test and hands him a small cup to pee in. The memon guy comes back in after a little and hands the doc a one liter bottle that is filled up. The doc asks whats this...and the memon guy says "you guys always make fun of how kanjoos memons are, well i want to prove you wrong and show you how generous we are. Instead of giving you a little bit of urine...i gave you a whole 1 liter of urine"
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Old September 19th, 2005, 02:52 PM   #8
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i need more hyderabadi jokes....ive been looking for them
LOL shit i have a shit load at home...i'll post em when im at home
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Old September 19th, 2005, 02:54 PM   #9
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Originally Posted by Sweet Miasma
here is another...

i heard this from an uncle..
there was a Memon guy in Hyderabad once...and everyone would make fun of how kanjoos (stingy) memons are.....so one day he gets sick and goes to the doctor. the doc orders a urine test and hands him a small cup to pee in. The memon guy comes back in after a little and hands the doc a one liter bottle that is filled up. The doc asks whats this...and the memon guy says "you guys always make fun of how kanjoos memons are, well i want to prove you wrong and show you how generous we are. Instead of giving you a little bit of urine...i gave you a whole 1 liter of urine"
haa haa haa

that was a gud one
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Old September 19th, 2005, 02:55 PM   #10
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LOL shit i have a shit load at home...i'll post em when im at home


pleeeeeeeeaaaseeeee.....ive been looking for some
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Old September 19th, 2005, 02:56 PM   #11
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pleeeeeeeeaaaseeeee.....ive been looking for some
still waiting for my sign


thankx
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Old September 19th, 2005, 02:57 PM   #12
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*starts writing on paper towel*
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Old September 19th, 2005, 02:58 PM   #13
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*starts writing on paper towel*


if u dont have reg paper..... gaff pe likho
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Old September 19th, 2005, 02:59 PM   #14
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if u dont have reg paper..... gaff pe likho

hahhahaaha noooooooo
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Old September 19th, 2005, 03:00 PM   #15
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hahhahaaha noooooooo
aray kaiky nai?

i wont tell anyone its u....

teek hai.....im waiting
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Old September 19th, 2005, 03:49 PM   #16
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Originally Posted by Sweet Miasma
here is another...

i heard this from an uncle..
there was a Memon guy in Hyderabad once...and everyone would make fun of how kanjoos (stingy) memons are.....so one day he gets sick and goes to the doctor. the doc orders a urine test and hands him a small cup to pee in. The memon guy comes back in after a little and hands the doc a one liter bottle that is filled up. The doc asks whats this...and the memon guy says "you guys always make fun of how kanjoos memons are, well i want to prove you wrong and show you how generous we are. Instead of giving you a little bit of urine...i gave you a whole 1 liter of urine"
Lols I heard one like this but just abit different loved it post more of these types man i love joke threads
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