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#1 |
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Should I Consider Retiring???
Join Date: Jan 30 2006
Location: Grim Reaper's crib
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which has been in my inbox for a while now
Rules Of Indian Film Making Rule 1:Two brothers separated in childhood will always grow up on different sides of the law. The law-breaker, however, will suddenly turn over a new leaf before the end, bash up the villain (who is the *real* bad guy), and be pardoned for all his sins before the last-scene family reunion. (This is possible only if he has a heroine - see Rule 2 below). Rule 2:If the number of heroes is not equal to the number of heroines, the excess heroes/heroines will a) die b) join the Red Cross and take off to Switzerland before the end of the movie. Rule 3:If there are 2 heroes in a movie, they will fight each other savagely for at least 5 minutes (10 if they are brothers). Rule 4:Any court scene will have the dialogue "Objection milord". If it is said by the hero, or his lawyer, it will be overruled. Else, it will be sustained. Rule5:The hero's sister will usually marry the hero's best friend (i.e. the second hero). Else, she will be raped by the villain within the 1st 30 minutes, and commit suicide. In a chase, the hero will always overtake the villain, even on a bullock-cart, tractor, or on foot. Rule 6:When the hero fires at the villain(s), he will never a) miss b) run out of bullets. When the villain fires at the hero, he will always miss (unless the hero is required to die, as in rule 2). Rule 7:Any fight sequence shall take place in the vicinity of a stack of a) pots b) barrels c) glass bottles, which will be smashed to pieces. Rule 8:Any movie involving lost and found brothers will have a song sung by a) the brothers b) their blind mother (but of course, she has to be blind in order to regain her sight in the climax) c) the family dog/cat. Rule 9:Police inspectors (when not played by the hero) come in two categories: a) Scrupulously honest, probably the hero's father - killed by the villain before the titles. b) Honest, but always chasing the anti-hero (as in Rule 1), saying "Tum kanoon se bach nahin sakte", only to pat him in the back in reel 23. Usually, this inspector's daughter is in love with the anti-hero. c) The corrupt inspector, (usually the real villain's sidekick) unceremoniously knocked about by the hero(s) in the climax. THE END
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Last edited by DasJa : March 8th, 2007 at 10:51 AM. |
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#2 |
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Don't make me destroy you
Join Date: Dec 15 2004
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#3 |
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Can't Stay Away
Join Date: Dec 25 2006
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and slow motion scene is a must
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#4 |
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Should I Consider Retiring???
Join Date: Jan 5 2006
Location: Other side, but I'm bridging the gap
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naaaaaaaahhhhhhhhiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii iiiiii
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#5 |
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Addicted
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Reading this makes me think of the film Karan Arjun for some reason
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#6 |
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VIP Member
Join Date: Nov 17 2003
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Silent Bob is still on the forums?
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"This administration is reading our phone records, credit card statements, mail, and internet logs. I mail myself a copy of the constitution every morning just on the hope that they'll open it and see what it says". - Bill Maher
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