Read and post jokes.. funny

rated_R · April 7th, 2006, 06:21 PM

1. A man and a woman, who have never met before, find themselves assigned to the same sleeping room on a transcontinental train. Though initially embarrassed and uneasy over sharing a room, the two retire and fall asleep quickly. He is in the upper bunk and she is in the lower bunk. At 1:00 AM, he leans over and gently wakes the woman saying: "Ma'am, I'm sorry to bother you, but would you be willing to reach into the closet to get me a second blanket? I'm awfully cold."
"I have a better idea," she replies. "Just for tonight, let's pretend that we're married."
"WOW! THATS A GREAT IDEA!!" he exclaims.
"Good," she replies. "Get your own damn fuckin blanket.. fuckin asshole and shut the fuck up.. let me fuckin sleep.. or I'll fuckin kill you.. and you won't see the the fuckin light of day again.. you fuckin understand me?? u fuckin idiot!"
After a moment of silence, he farted.

2. A salesman rang the bell at a home, and the door was opened by a nine-year-old boy puffing on a long black cigar. Hiding his amazement, the salesman asked the young man, "Is your mother home?"
The boy took the cigar out of his mouth, flicked ashes on the carpet, and asked, "What the fuck do you think.. loser?"

3. A man walks into the dentist's office and after the dentist examines him, he says, "that tooth has to come out. I'm going to give you a shot of Novocain and I'll be back in a few minutes."
The man grabs the doc's arm, "No way. I hate needles I'm not having any shot!"
So the dentist says, "okay, we'll have to go with the gas."
The man replies, "absolutely not. It makes me very sick for a couple of days. I'm not having gas."
So the dentist steps out and comes back with a glass of water, "here," he says. "Take this pill."
The man asks "What is it?"
The doc replies, "Viagra."
The man looks surprised, "will that kill the pain?" he asks.
"No," replies the dentist, "but it will give you something to hang on to while I pull your tooth!"

post good jokes ppl...

timeless_urge · April 7th, 2006, 07:15 PM

lolll!

NdNStaTEofMinD · April 7th, 2006, 07:18 PM

I honestly thought They were funny, but for some reason I failed to laugh..

BTW the first joke would be funny if you take off a few hundred curse words from the woman.

.AK. · April 7th, 2006, 07:30 PM

LOL wow, finally decent jokes ivent heard b4 first one was jokes"and then teh man farted"

rated_R · April 7th, 2006, 08:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by NdNStaTEofMinD

I honestly thought They were funny, but for some reason I failed to laugh..

BTW the first joke would be funny if you take off a few hundred curse words from the woman.

thats the interesting part man.. coz the dude was expecting something else.. and just see what he got

Xo_neha_Xo · April 7th, 2006, 09:31 PM

of the first one.

Xo_neha_Xo · April 7th, 2006, 09:37 PM

i didn't get the other too.

sikh_balla · April 7th, 2006, 11:35 PM

an old man goes to the doctor to see if he is still capable of producing sperm cells. the doctor gives him a jar and says, " go home to your wife and tell her to help you produce ur sperm". the old man says ok and goes home. he comes back the next day with the jar empty. the doctor says "what happened, why is the jar still empty?" the old man replies" doctor, i tried so hard. i used both hands, i went to my wife she tried so hard too, she was pull it twisting it, but it still wouldn't come out, so i went to my neighbours, they tried with their mouth, their hands, everything, but it still wouldn't come out, doctor, i tried so hard, but i was unable to open the jar"

lol, wut were u guys thinking? hehe.

rated_R · April 8th, 2006, 03:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sikh_balla

an old man goes to the doctor to see if he is still capable of producing sperm cells. the doctor gives him a jar and says, " go home to your wife and tell her to help you produce ur sperm". the old man says ok and goes home. he comes back the next day with the jar empty. the doctor says "what happened, why is the jar still empty?" the old man replies" doctor, i tried so hard. i used both hands, i went to my wife she tried so hard too, she was pull it twisting it, but it still wouldn't come out, so i went to my neighbours, they tried with their mouth, their hands, everything, but it still wouldn't come out, doctor, i tried so hard, but i was unable to open the jar"

lol, wut were u guys thinking? hehe.

poor ol dude... and the whole time i was thinking he was tryin to get it out

sikh_balla · April 8th, 2006, 03:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by rated_R

poor ol dude... and the whole time i was thinking he was tryin to get it out

lol, my math teacher told this joke to class last year, lol. yeah thats right, my math teacher lol.

Canadian_jatti · April 8th, 2006, 03:28 PM

i didn't get the second one

rated_R · April 8th, 2006, 03:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Xo_neha_Xo

i didn't get the other too.

which one??

rated_R · April 8th, 2006, 03:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Canadian_jatti

i didn't get the second one

this 9 year old was puffing on a long black cigar and he answered the door.. the sales man was so stupid that he asked the kid for his mom.. if his mom was at home then the kid wouldnt have been smoking inside the house like that in the first place..

so it was really stupid for the salesman to ask that question

rated_R · April 8th, 2006, 04:17 PM

sorry people.. i had to post this tho it contains nude cartoons..

i just found it wayyy too funny..

April 7th, 2006, 06:21 PM	#1
rated_R Addicted Join Date: Mar 22 2006 Location: not near you!! Posts: 2,646 Reputation: 114292 --> Rep Power: 11455 Casino cash: $1001	Read and post jokes.. funny 1. A man and a woman, who have never met before, find themselves assigned to the same sleeping room on a transcontinental train. Though initially embarrassed and uneasy over sharing a room, the two retire and fall asleep quickly. He is in the upper bunk and she is in the lower bunk. At 1:00 AM, he leans over and gently wakes the woman saying: "Ma'am, I'm sorry to bother you, but would you be willing to reach into the closet to get me a second blanket? I'm awfully cold." "I have a better idea," she replies. "Just for tonight, let's pretend that we're married." "WOW! THATS A GREAT IDEA!!" he exclaims. "Good," she replies. "Get your own damn fuckin blanket.. fuckin asshole and shut the fuck up.. let me fuckin sleep.. or I'll fuckin kill you.. and you won't see the the fuckin light of day again.. you fuckin understand me?? u fuckin idiot!" After a moment of silence, he farted. 2. A salesman rang the bell at a home, and the door was opened by a nine-year-old boy puffing on a long black cigar. Hiding his amazement, the salesman asked the young man, "Is your mother home?" The boy took the cigar out of his mouth, flicked ashes on the carpet, and asked, "What the fuck do you think.. loser?" 3. A man walks into the dentist's office and after the dentist examines him, he says, "that tooth has to come out. I'm going to give you a shot of Novocain and I'll be back in a few minutes." The man grabs the doc's arm, "No way. I hate needles I'm not having any shot!" So the dentist says, "okay, we'll have to go with the gas." The man replies, "absolutely not. It makes me very sick for a couple of days. I'm not having gas." So the dentist steps out and comes back with a glass of water, "here," he says. "Take this pill." The man asks "What is it?" The doc replies, "Viagra." The man looks surprised, "will that kill the pain?" he asks. "No," replies the dentist, "but it will give you something to hang on to while I pull your tooth!" post good jokes ppl... Last edited by rated_R : April 7th, 2006 at 08:43 PM.

April 7th, 2006, 07:15 PM	#2
timeless_urge Addicted Join Date: Jul 26 2005 Posts: 4,286 Reputation: 10 --> Rep Power: 37 Casino cash: $1130	lolll! __________________ WooHOo!!!

April 7th, 2006, 07:30 PM	#4
.AK. Should I Consider Retiring??? Join Date: Mar 27 2006 Posts: 17,944 Reputation: 10 --> Rep Power: 88 Casino cash: $1405	LOL wow, finally decent jokes ivent heard b4 first one was jokes"and then teh man farted" __________________

April 7th, 2006, 09:31 PM	#6
Xo_neha_Xo Should I Consider Retiring??? Join Date: Jan 29 2006 Posts: 6,498 Reputation: 10 --> Rep Power: 43 Casino cash: $1000	of the first one. __________________

April 7th, 2006, 09:37 PM	#7
Xo_neha_Xo Should I Consider Retiring??? Join Date: Jan 29 2006 Posts: 6,498 Reputation: 10 --> Rep Power: 43 Casino cash: $1000	i didn't get the other too. __________________

April 7th, 2006, 07:18 PM	#3
NdNStaTEofMinD Can't Stay Away Join Date: Feb 15 2006 Posts: 1,705 Reputation: 10 --> Rep Power: 24 Casino cash: $5775	I honestly thought They were funny, but for some reason I failed to laugh.. BTW the first joke would be funny if you take off a few hundred curse words from the woman.

April 7th, 2006, 11:35 PM	#8
sikh_balla Should I Consider Retiring??? Join Date: Sep 27 2005 Location: UK - west midlands Posts: 6,985 Reputation: 6334908 --> Rep Power: 633535 Casino cash: $10379	an old man goes to the doctor to see if he is still capable of producing sperm cells. the doctor gives him a jar and says, " go home to your wife and tell her to help you produce ur sperm". the old man says ok and goes home. he comes back the next day with the jar empty. the doctor says "what happened, why is the jar still empty?" the old man replies" doctor, i tried so hard. i used both hands, i went to my wife she tried so hard too, she was pull it twisting it, but it still wouldn't come out, so i went to my neighbours, they tried with their mouth, their hands, everything, but it still wouldn't come out, doctor, i tried so hard, but i was unable to open the jar" lol, wut were u guys thinking? hehe. __________________ www.myspace.com/gsokhi

April 8th, 2006, 03:28 PM	#11
Canadian_jatti Addicted Join Date: Aug 25 2005 Location: Calgary Posts: 4,064 Reputation: 298411688 --> Rep Power: 29841203 Casino cash: $14115	i didn't get the second one __________________

April 8th, 2006, 04:17 PM	#14
rated_R Addicted Join Date: Mar 22 2006 Location: not near you!! Posts: 2,646 Reputation: 114292 --> Rep Power: 11455 Casino cash: $1001	sorry people.. i had to post this tho it contains nude cartoons.. i just found it wayyy too funny..

Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)

Similar Threads
Thread	Thread Starter	Forum	Replies	Last Post
who's threads will you always read regardless if you post in them or not?	bambina	General Chat	38	February 13th, 2006 09:23 PM
ive noticed that...people who post at night ( us time)	xsilent_watersx	General Chat	22	February 1st, 2006 03:26 PM
* The best love story you'll ever read *	Echelon	General Chat	7	January 22nd, 2006 12:33 PM
Brian's e-life to real life.	Peacemaker	General Chat	9	November 20th, 2005 09:08 AM