STORY THAT I WROTE DUE TO THE DEMAND

[inam]

Stinky Story (that has a lot of inside jokes)

It seems that time moves quicker than the seconds would suggest, but it?s all relative in the SCOPE of my mouthwash. The fact is that I can?t take the 30 seconds of torture that the barbaric makers of my gargling potion require, and I wondered if anyone could. So I walked out of the house and took a quick look around for any white teeth. The first thing I saw was a poster for Jaws. I turned away, embarrassed, because the shark had better teeth than I did.

The first person I came across was cutenoreen. She walked by me wearing a mint juleppe mask and I was affrighted like I was vocab word for a Shakespeare play. Nevertheless, seeing as to how she would not be in fear of this MUDDY question, I asked her if she could TAKE THOSE 30 SECONDS. She slapped me. It seems I had forgotten to mention mouthwash. I begged for forgiveness but she whipped out a walletfull of pictures of herself, and proceeded to mutilate my arms with paper cuts. I turned to run but she came after me with more VENOM then Spiderman?s arch nemesis. Luckily, after I mentioned that I taught Bangali to POOR KIDS IN RICH NEIGHBORHOODS, she went back to doing PULL-UPS with no diapers. She went back to being docile and proceeded to give people HUGGIES AND MUAH'Z. I looked back at her with much angst, but proceeded to the local pharmacy to buy myself some hydrogen peroxide.

I walked inside the pharmacy and noticed a woman. The woman was Sweet Miasma but it turned out that the encounter I had with her was anything but sweet, but certainly like a miasma. Oh! Only if the woman had went about her own business! Instead, it turned out that she was a extra in the movie BLADE, and during filming she had researched sucking blood and decided it was SWEETer than California slang. She came up to me and acted like she was about to help, but instead dug her nails into my paper cuts. I howled like a wolf getting his toe stubbed at the foot of tree root. The pain was unbearable, but I gathered up my courage broke loose like a tightly wound spring, and sprung to safety in a deserted FOR PET card aisle. Hallmark is getting more fanciful it seems.

Having escaped the last encounter I proceeded to the medicinal aisle where they supplied the bandages and ointments for healing. As I read the instruction label on the RUBBING ALCOHOL FOR OPEN WOUNDS, someone tapped me on the shoulder. It was the pharmacist. I checked his nametag, which was moonshadow. I asked him how I could heal my various contusions and he provided me with a LINKED LIST to a STACK of different types of ointments. I thanked him, and asked where I should get it, and he said COUT. See out? What did that mean? He refused to say more.

As I was about to leave the store I had forgotten that I had some film in my pocket that needed to be developed. The drugstore had a one hour photo, and a girl worked there. Her name was Chikni. I walked up to the counter and heard someone ask a cashier for "fattygirl" cigars. I was disgusted because cigars make you stink more than an unshaven armpit in the sauna. Anyway, I handed the film to Chikni and told her to handle the film more carefully than someone sticking jewelery into the chin of a person at a fake jewelery store.

I walked out of the store still reeling from my paper cuts suffered from the incorrigible Bangali Dinosaur. I was wondering what the pharmacist had meant by the see out? Was it philosophy? I didn?t know so I had to go meet, TheDude.

If you don?t know this already, TheDude works at a halal meat market and skins goats. He alse has the IQ of half a kilogram twice over in pounds and multiplied by his age- 21. I asked him once why he still worked at the meat market, he replied ?Ever since I saw Rocky 1 I?ve been into punching goats, after that got boring I wanted to skin them?. I was shocked at his answer, but I dared not ask say anything bad because he was scratching himself with a ninja sword. No, he doesn't skin goats with swords, he skins them with his fingernails. Hopefully his wiping techniques don't make it unethical.

Anyway, I needed to talk to TheDude because he was the utmost authority on figuring riddles out. I asked him what SEE OUT meant and he replied in ONES AND ZEROS. I decided that maybe I should just forget about the pharmacist. I walked away from dude, and decided to continue my original quest- finding people who could withstand the acid water for 30 seconds.

My arms had healed by themselves because I had Wolverine?s healing powers, and I wasn?t even from Michigan. The pain was subsiding so it was time to continue the search. I looked around and saw yellow teeth everywhere. Someone was out there, and I finally saw him walking from a block away. He had a strange gait, with one hand flying high while one hang swung low. It seemed that his legs were misshaped because he had a hitch to his step that made it look like he was walking a line for a policeman while drunk. I had noticed that his teeth were whiter than those around us and asked him if he had been using mouthwash. 0hsopimpin replied that he HIT IT. I asked him for what reason, and he replied that it FEELS GOOD LIKE TONY TONY TONY. I asked him how he felt after using it, and he told me that ITS DOABLE. I was satisfied, and decided to crack a joke. He then proceeded to call me a FAT, UGLY, STINKY AND UNFUNNY. He then took out a felt tip pen and drew a goatee on my face. I didn?t mind, in fact, I looked a little more handsome. 0hsopimpin agreed. I decided that ?I had enough of this? like a madman on the verge of a nervous breakdown and exited the scene.

I was puzzled over the responses given by the person before, and wondered aloud- How can this be? A passerby noticed I was talking to myself, and told me that I should shut up else they make me pay for it like captain planet. I said that I wouldn?t shut up, and paid PyariPariPri with a picture of my big lips. She was delighted, and put them in her wallet. I asked her what she was carrying a wallet for, and she replied that it was APHRODITES SIN, a new brand. I was puzzled until I found an AD describing the company. I was going to ask her if she could handle mouthwash but noticed she didn?t want to open her mouth. Her LIPS were doing all the talking.

I walked away pleased with myself for having escaped. Now the direction I was walking was away from the city, into a town where many weird occurrences happened happenstance. I saw someone coming towards me, it was shiv3rx. I saw that her teeth were extremely white, and she told me that she had photoshopped them. I didn?t understand, and then she went on to ask me a question. She said ?What if there was a big tomato in the sky that spoke, would we have to believe it?? I was confused, but that was what this town is good for. I decided to run after I saw from the corner of my eye someone staring at me and salivating while touching his toes doing calisthenics.

I walked back towards my own domicile because I was more fatigued than a soldier in camouflage gear. While I was walking I noticed a pattering of footsteps behind me. It was a girl whom I didn?t know. It seems she was following me, so I took two left turns and ended up in the same place. She stood in the same place, and I was caught. It turned out that she had noticed me lurking around checking people?s teeth out and that she was going to report me to the proper authorities. I asked who they were, and she told me that information was to be kept ?down under? and was not to be shared. I asked who she was, and she said piya. She then said this, ?Ey mayte oi foiugered yooo waa ay sayksual preydator?. I replied in the negative, and she seemed headed to the TJNPATEL bed and breakfast. I vomited. Da Wise One came upon me while I was vomiting and I was disgusted. He said that he had been taking Seales and was suffering from the 4 hour side effect.

Luckily, I had managed to run away from him as well. I saw ilostamothfknbet, and I asked her if she lost a moth, and was fkn bet. I didn?t receive an answer because she gave me a shiberoni pizza and tried to punch me in the right nostril. Luckily, I dodged her because girl?s reflexes are slow. She was angrier and her face went from it's naturally pink color to magenta. She looked like a warhead candy and I decided that the situation had soured. She started winding up another punch, and like a jack in the box, I didn't know when she would explode. I decided to walk away from the person whom I call what normal people call the smallest finger on their hands.

Next I came across gagan the VEGAN. I thought to myself, this person must have clean teeth- he has the diet of a rabbitt. I greeted him to say HELLO like lionel richie but when he opened his mouth I saw he had wooden dentures. Now I understood the root cause of his not eating animals. It was because his hero was George Washington, hence the wooden teeth. If he ate a steak it would get stuck in his dentures. No doubt this man was more agreeable then water for a man dying of thirst, but the fact that the listerine would have disintegrated his dentures made it evident that he could not handle it.

I walked into a restaurant. MarrYMePlZzz and Arjuna the Baboon were singing karaoke together. Arjuna was singing his favorite song "money, money, money, now the skies are sunny ain't got no more worries cuz now I'm in the money!!!" and his italian suit was getting drenched with his own sweat. Some of the makeup on his face was caking up as well. As for his singing, it was worse than getting your leg amputated by mach 3. As for MarrYMePlZzz, she was looking at the audience while doing her patented wolf howl and checked the prospects. Let's say they were worse than a winless Triple A farm team's.

I looked away from the crime scene, because twas a crime to WITNESS this singing without PROTECTION, but the FBI wouldn't authorize it. But then I saw someone, I didn't know whether it was a man or a woman, because they were wrapped in an enigma. The person's name was DeZi. I asked whether or not this person was able to gargle moutwash for 30 seconds. DeZi proceeded to describe heinous sex acts that made my ear bleed. I was scarred more than a badly popped pimple. I walked out crying.

I hit the streets running like I was a bad cliche and met my old friend Flow_Motion. Flow had been saying that my act had gotten staler then week old french bread. I told him it wasn't an ACT, and he SAT down. I proceeded to ask him whether or not he could handle mouthwash for 30 seconds, he replied that moutwash wasn't the issue, it was those commercials with a guy gargling moutwash he couldn't handle. He proceeded to tell me how and which direction to brush my teeth. I found all this more amazing than a mouse finding his way through a maze, until he told me that took a bath in dettol and was interested in living in MAD MAD HOUSE. I figured that it was an anomaly and dismissed him from my analysis.

I was losing hope, until I came across legally_qute. She was under a lampshade eating corn. I asked her if it was LEGALLY CORNY. She gave me an evil eye like I was that dumb hobbitt that got stuck by Sauron. I looked away, and she asked me if I wanted a CUPPY CAKE, since I didn't know what the hell that was, I said hell no. She seemed to be into sugar like the roach in MIB part 1, so I decided not to even ask her the question that had been troubling my mind for so long.

Back to the present like Michael J. Fox I had stepped into pothole and had my leg stuck. I couldn't get it out. Suddenly a truck started coming towards me. The driver had long hair and what looked like a shaved chest. He didn't notice me because he was in the process of taking the hair of his stomach and was looking down. The truck was closer and I could read the license plate, it read ShivaChrist. I was more afraid than cat with it's tail raised. Luckily, Crazy-in-Love saw me in danger and screamed. Her banshee wails alerted Shiva and he slammed on the brakes. He stopped within an inch of my life. Crazy flicked him off and went to complain about her personal life on a message board.

I got my foot out of the pothole and went to displace my anger at the local county government center. The clerk who I spoke to was named QuRutuLaiN. She didn't understand English and I was wiping her ears with a QTip. I was surprised. That was until I learned that I had walked into the embassy of Nigeria.

I walked down the avenue and met someone who seemed like he was pseudo-rich. His name was Chitenbraum. He was trying to convince a streetwalker named Angelique to play a part in an upcoming tamil love story. She took him seriously and then went back to being a clown. He was so happy that he smiled with his mouth open- a mistake. He had not teeth.

It seems that my quest to find someone who could taste death (for 99% of bacteria) and spit it out, was nowhere to be found. What's more, it seems that the teeth of those whom I met were particularly yellow or blue, you can add one to even out the other. I was CRESTfallen, so I decided to switch to a different toothpaste instead of gargling the blue potion. That was until I found out that there was a new orange flavor listerine...

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Epilogue will have you other fobs that I missed cause I don't know if you guys are gonna get all my jokes and maybe it will be a waste of time to add you right now. And don't get mad it's just a little satire, tongue-in-cheek story. Your getting a free taste for something you'll be buying in a couple years.

[Samad]

wow ...interesting

[chitumbarum]

ha ha ha u jok so much my friend very funy good story.

[~nadia~]

im new but it gave me a insight to the people on here

[inam]

stupid machine makes all my ' into ?

[Shiv3rX]

hahhaa... that was a great story inam... and u mentioned the tomato thing... hahhaha

[0hsopimpin]

But then I saw someone, I didn't know whether it was a man or a woman, because they were wrapped in an enigma. The person's name was DeZi.\\\ hahaha

[PyariPariPri]

Originally Posted by inam

I was puzzled over the responses given by the person before, and wondered aloud- How can this be? A passerby noticed I was talking to myself, and told me that I should shut up else they make me pay for it like captain planet. I said that I wouldn?t shut up, and paid PyariPariPri with a picture of my big lips. She was delighted, and put them in her wallet. I asked her what she was carrying a wallet for, and she replied that it was APHRODITES SIN, a new brand. I was puzzled until I found an AD describing the company. I was going to ask her if she could handle mouthwash but noticed she didn?t want to open her mouth. Her LIPS were doing all the talking.

OH MY GOD WHO ARE YOU

[inam]

Originally Posted by PyariPariPri

OH MY GOD WHO ARE YOU

Who are you? Your a baboon and I'm not. Follow me to the lake and see mufasa.

[chitumbarum]

Originally Posted by inam

Who are you? Your a baboon and I'm not. Follow me to the lake and see mufasa.

oh my friend sorry i though u were talking about mustafa instead of mufasa, he is a very good friend of mine.

[inam]

Originally Posted by chitumbarum

oh my friend sorry i though u were talking about mustafa instead of mufasa, he is a very good friend of mine.

Who is this mustafa you speak of? Does he stink?

[chitumbarum]

no he very good friend of mine. he live in madras and he cook lovely mutton biryani every sunday.

[ilostamothfknbet]

Luckily, I had managed to run away from him as well. I saw ilostamothfknbet, and I asked her if she lost a moth, and was fkn bet. I didn?t receive an answer because she gave me a shiberoni pizza and tried to punch me in the right nostril. Luckily, I dodged her because girl?s reflexes are slow. She was angrier and her face went from it's naturally pink color to magenta. She looked like a warhead candy and I decided that the situation had soured. She started winding up another punch, and like a jack in the box, I didn't know when she would explode. I decided to walk away from the person whom I call what normal people call the smallest finger on their hands.

lolol you are HILARIOUS.. hahahahah. i'm making a new sig in your honor :P

[inam]

Originally Posted by ilostamothfknbet

Luckily, I had managed to run away from him as well. I saw ilostamothfknbet, and I asked her if she lost a moth, and was fkn bet. I didn?t receive an answer because she gave me a shiberoni pizza and tried to punch me in the right nostril. Luckily, I dodged her because girl?s reflexes are slow. She was angrier and her face went from it's naturally pink color to magenta. She looked like a warhead candy and I decided that the situation had soured. She started winding up another punch, and like a jack in the box, I didn't know when she would explode. I decided to walk away from the person whom I call what normal people call the smallest finger on their hands.

lolol you are HILARIOUS.. hahahahah. i'm making a new sig in your honor :P

Thanks, but I haven't been elected to a seat, so calling me your honor is unnecessary! :P

[ChikNi]

wow u can really write. funny story! the shibani turning into warhead candy hahaaha

[ChikNi]

i want to be added to the story.. ops:

[ilostamothfknbet]

Originally Posted by ChikNi

wow u can really write. funny story! the shibani turning into warhead candy hahaaha

hahah shutup

[ChikNi]

Originally Posted by ilostamothfknbet

hahah shutup

u lost a moth , now go find that shit!

[PyariPariPri]

Originally Posted by inam

Who are you? Your a baboon and I'm not. Follow me to the lake and see mufasa.

noooo first he hits him over the head to make him learn from the past. THEN he says that.


WHO ARE YOU

[chitumbarum]

inam baba can u also put me into the story i never see story of me before i alway making tamil romantic stories

[ilostamothfknbet]

Originally Posted by ChikNi

u lost a moth , now go find that shit!

lol yall suck. chupp.

[inam]

Originally Posted by ChikNi

u lost a moth , now go find that shit!

Alright, I'll add you and chitumbraum.

[inam]

you guys are added.

[Samad]

Originally Posted by inam

you guys are added.

man...come on msn

[inam]

Originally Posted by PyariPariPri

noooo first he hits him over the head to make him learn from the past. THEN he says that.


WHO ARE YOU

I KNOW WHO YOU ARE!!!!! I KNOW WHO YOU ARE!!!

now keep it a secret.