Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road? Managers Speak

[hurryputher]

Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road?

Arsene Wenger
"From my position in the dug-out I did not see the incident clearly so I cannot really comment. However, I do think that he gets picked on by opposition players and fans who are clearly chickenophobic."

David O'Leary
"To be fair, he's just a baby chicken really and crossing the road is just a big exciting adventure for him. He'll enjoy the experience as long as it lasts and learn from it, but I don't seriously expect him to cross it this season."

Alex Ferguson
"As far as I'm concerned he crossed the road at least a minute early according to my watch."

George Graham
"I want good, solid team of chickens who'll cross the road in a straight line when they're told and how they're told. There's no room at this club for a prima donna chicken running around aimlessly - he's not worth it!"

Gianluca Vialli
"When the fish are down, he'll just be one of the chaps. It doesn't matter to me whether he's an Italian, French or English chicken as long as he's willing to die on the pitch."

Peter Reid
"Just cross the f***ing road, you chicken f***!"

Glenn Hoddle
"The chicken was hit by the lorry when crossing the road because in a previous life it had been a bad chicken."

Brian Clough
"If God had wanted chickens to cross roads he'd have put corn in the tarmac. Anyway, I'm more interested in Wild Turkey."

Ron Atkinson
"Spotter's badge, Clive. For me, Chicko's popped up at the back stick, little eyebrows, and gone bang! And I'll tell you what - I've got a sneaking feeling that this road's there to be crossed."

Ruud Gullit
"I am hoping to see some sexy poultry."

Gordon Strachan
"I'm really proud of the wee fella. Let's face it, if it had been one of the big chickens everyone would be saying how well he'd done, but as it's one of the wee chickens it must be luck."

John Gregory
"Two months ago that chicken was saying he was happy here. Now he tells me he wants to cross the road. I feel like shooting him."

Kevin Keegan
"OK, so the chicken's dead, but I still feel, hey, he can go all the way to the other side of the road."

Joe Royle
"I can't understand why they're letting female chickens cross roads these days. They should be at home laying eggs."

Bobby Robson
"Goose, what turkey, is there a duck somewhere, where am I?

[priyesh]

Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road?

Arsene Wenger
"From my position in the dug-out I did not see the incident clearly so I cannot really comment. However, I do think that he gets picked on by opposition players and fans who are clearly chickenophobic."

David O'Leary
"To be fair, he's just a baby chicken really and crossing the road is just a big exciting adventure for him. He'll enjoy the experience as long as it lasts and learn from it, but I don't seriously expect him to cross it this season."

Alex Ferguson
"As far as I'm concerned he crossed the road at least a minute early according to my watch."

George Graham
"I want good, solid team of chickens who'll cross the road in a straight line when they're told and how they're told. There's no room at this club for a prima donna chicken running around aimlessly - he's not worth it!"

Gianluca Vialli
"When the fish are down, he'll just be one of the chaps. It doesn't matter to me whether he's an Italian, French or English chicken as long as he's willing to die on the pitch."

Peter Reid
"Just cross the f***ing road, you chicken f***!"

Glenn Hoddle
"The chicken was hit by the lorry when crossing the road because in a previous life it had been a bad chicken."

Brian Clough
"If God had wanted chickens to cross roads he'd have put corn in the tarmac. Anyway, I'm more interested in Wild Turkey."

Ron Atkinson
"Spotter's badge, Clive. For me, Chicko's popped up at the back stick, little eyebrows, and gone bang! And I'll tell you what - I've got a sneaking feeling that this road's there to be crossed."

Ruud Gullit
"I am hoping to see some sexy poultry."

Gordon Strachan
"I'm really proud of the wee fella. Let's face it, if it had been one of the big chickens everyone would be saying how well he'd done, but as it's one of the wee chickens it must be luck."

John Gregory
"Two months ago that chicken was saying he was happy here. Now he tells me he wants to cross the road. I feel like shooting him."

Kevin Keegan
"OK, so the chicken's dead, but I still feel, hey, he can go all the way to the other side of the road."

Joe Royle
"I can't understand why they're letting female chickens cross roads these days. They should be at home laying eggs."

Bobby Robson
"Goose, what turkey, is there a duck somewhere, where am I?

:rofl: wheres martin o'neill?

[R.J]

hah,

the glenn hoddle response is hilarious.

[Dansta]

These are genuine Gordon Strachan quotes:

Reporter: Welcome to Southampton Football Club. Do you think you are the right man to turn things around?
Strachan: No. I was asked if I thought I was the right man for the job and I said, "No, I think they should have got George Graham because I'm useless."

Reporter: Is that your best start to a season?
Strachan: Well I've still got a job so it's far better than the Coventry one, that's for sure.

Reporter: Are you getting where you want to be with this team?
Strachan: We're not doing bad. What do you expect us to be like? We were eighth in the league last year, in the cup final and we got into Europe. I don't know where you expect me to get to. Do you expect us to win the Champions League?

Reporter: Gordon, you must be delighted with that result?
Strachan: You're spot on! You can read me like a book.

Strachan: I've got more important things to think about. I've got a yogurt to finish by today, the expiry date is today. That can be my priority rather than Agustin Delgado.

Reporter: This might sound like a daft question, but you'll be happy to get your first win under your belt, won't you?
Strachan: You're right. It is a daft question. I'm not even going to bother answering that one. It is a daft question, you're spot on there.

Reporter: Bang, there goes your unbeaten run. Can you take it?
Strachan: No, I'm just going to crumble like a wreck. I'll go home, become an alcoholic and maybe jump of a bridge. Umm, I think I can take it, yeah.

Reporter: There's no negative vibes or negative feelings here?
Strachan: Apart from yourself, we're all quite positive round here. I'm going to whack you over the head with a big stick, down negative man, down.

Reporter: Where will Marion Pahars fit into the team line-up?
Strachan: Not telling you! It's a secret.

Reporter: You don't take losing lightly, do you Gordon?
Strachan: I don't take stupid comments lightly either.

Reporter: So, Gordon, in what areas do you think Middlesbrough were better than you today?
Strachan: What areas? Mainly that big green one out there...

Strachan was on Sky on Sunday morning. He saw John Terry's goal and said he was impressed that Terry goes up expecting to score. He contrasted this to Claus Lundekvam the Saints central defender who goes up for every dead ball and never ever looks remotely like scoring. He said if there was a dead body lying in the penalty area the ball would hit it on the head several times a season which he said is more than Lundekvam can manage. He said referees should book Lundekvam for timewasting every time he goes up for a corner. When the co-commentator said if Lundekvam was watching Strachan was only joking. Strachan assured him he was deadly serious.

[djskee]

hahhahaa quality strachan.

[hurryputher]

Reporter to Newcastle's Shola Ameobi: 'Do you have a nickname?'
Ameobi: 'No, not really'
Reporter: 'So what does Bobby Robson call you?'
Ameobi: 'Carl Cort.'

[MENACINGSTRANGER]

LMFAO, this is funny shit.

[Dansta]

Some more footballing quotes:

David Beckham Quotes
"Pele was a complete player. I didn't see him live obviously, because I wasn't born"


"My parents have been there for me, ever since I was about 7"


"I remember so clearly us going into hospital so Victoria could have Brooklyn. I was eating a Lion bar at the time"

"Alex Ferguson is the best manager I've ever had at this level. Well, he's the only manager I've actually had at this level. But he's the best manager I've ever had"

"We're definitely going to get Brooklyn christened, but we don't know into which religion"

"I always used to go for blondes and quiet girls, but Victoria is the total opposite - dark and loud"

"Well, I can play in the centre, on the right and occasionally on the left side" -when asked if he thought that he was a volatile player"


Kevin Keegan Quotes
"They compare Steve McManaman to Steve Highway and he's nothing like him, but I can see why - it's because he's a bit different"


"The good news for Nigeria is that they're two-nil down very early in the game"


"England have the best fans in the world and Scotland's fans are second to none"


"I don't think there's anyone bigger or smaller than Maradona"


"The tide is very much in our court now"


"You can play with a one armed goalkeeper...not at this level"


"At the Argentina game, how would you have guessed that Darren Anderton would have gone off with cramp?"

"I came to Nantes two years ago and it's much the same today, except that it's totally different"

"I know what is around the corner - I just don't know where the corner is. But the onus is on us to perform and we must control the bandwagon"

"In some ways, cramp is worse than having a broken leg"

"The 33 or 34-year-olds will be 36 or 37 by the time the next World Cup comes around, if they're not careful"

"I'd love to be a mole on the wall in the Liverpool dressing room at half-time"

"Goalkeepers aren't born today until they're in their late 20s or 30s and sometimes not even then. Or so it would appear. To me anyway. Don't you think the same?"

"I don't think they're as good as they are"

"For some it's the ultimate job. For the others it's the last job"


"I'm not disappointed - just disappointed"


"He can't speak Turks, but you can tell he's delighted"


"There'll be no siestas in Madrid tonight"


"Despite his white boots, he has pace and aggression"

"We deserved to win this game after hammering them 0-0 in the first half"

"I'll never play at Wembley again, unless I play at Wembley again"

"You can't do better than go away from home and get a draw"

"He's using his strength and that is his strength, his strength"

Young Gareth Barry - he's young"

"Argentina won't be at Euro 2000 because they're from South America"

"You don't get two chances at this level - or any other level for that matter"

"There's a slight doubt about only one player, and that's Tony Adams, who won't be playing tomorrow"

"You can't play with a one armed goalkeeper... not at this level"

"We don't get any marks for effort like in ice-skating"


Bobby Robson Quotes
"Eighteen months ago they [Sweden] were arguably one of the best three teams in Europe, and that would include Germany, Holland, Russia and anybody else if you like"

"We're taking 22 players to Italy, sorry, to Spain... where are we, Jim?"
-On whether Paul Gascoigne should have gone to the 1998 World Cup.

"He's very fast and if he gets a yard ahead of himself nobody will catch him"

"Sarajevo isn't Hawaii"

"The first 90 minutes are the most important"

"In a year's time, he's a year older"

"Some of the goals were good, some of the goals were sceptical"

"Anything from 1-0 to 2-0 would be a nice result"

"Home advantage gives you an advantage"

"The margin is very marginal"

"Well, we got nine and you can't score more than that"

"If you're a painter, you don't get rich until you're dead. The same happens with managers. You're never appreciated until you're gone, and then people say: 'Oh, he was OK'. Just like Picasso"

"What can I say about Peter Shilton? Peter Shilton is Peter Shilton, and he has been Peter Shilton since the year dot"

"Daft as a brush"
- On Paul Gascoigne.

"When he was dribbling, he used to go through a minefield with his arm, a bit like you go through a supermarket"
- On Paul Gascoigne.

Terry Venables Quotes
"If you can't stand the heat in the dressing-room, get out of the kitchen"

"I felt a lump in my mouth as the ball went in"

"It was never part of our plans not to play well, it just happened that way"

"Apart from their goals, Norway haven't scored"

"It may have been going wide, but nevertheless it was a great shot on target"

"They didn't change positions, they just moved the players around"

"There are two ways of getting the ball. One is from your own team-mates, and that's the only way"

[shilpa.]

Gianluca Vialli: "The only way to stop him (Thierry Henry) is with a gun!"

Paul Gascoigne: "I no longer drink. At most I will have a glass of wine. I want to play until I am 38 and I think Everton can win the title."
this one is too funny :)

What's the difference between David Beckham and Posh Spice?
Posh spice doesn't kick back when taken from behind.

---

A Spurs fan and an Arsenal fan get into a car accident, and it's a bad one.

Both cars (with football stickers on windows) are totally demolished, but amazingly neither of them is hurt.

After they crawl out of their cars, the Spurs fan says, "So you're an Arsenal fan, that's interesting. I'm a Spurs fan... Wow! Just look at our cars, there's nothing left, but fortunately we are unhurt. This must be a sign from God that we should meet and be friends and live together in peace the rest of our days."

The Arsenal fan replied, "I agree with you completely; this must be a sign from God!"

The Spurs fan continued, "And look at this - here's another miracle. My car is completely demolished but this bottle of whisky didn't break. Surely God wants us to drink this and celebrate our good fortune."

Then he hands the bottle to the Arsenal fan. The Arsenal fan nods his head in agreement, opens it and takes a few big swigs from the bottle, then handing it back to the Spurs fan.

The Spurs fan takes the bottle, immediately puts the cap back on, and hands it back to the Arsenal fan.

The Arsenal fan asks, "Aren't you having any?"

The Spurs fan replies, "No. I think I will just wait for the police..."

[arbigooner]

hahahaha I'm LMAO....