Delete me

[FLyboy85]

DELETE ME PLEASE
DELETE ME PLEASE
DELETE ME PLEASE
DELETE ME PLEASE
DELETE ME PLEASE
DELETE ME PLEASE
DELETE ME PLEASE
DELETE ME PLEASE
DELETE ME PLEASE
DELETE ME PLEASE
DELETE ME PLEASE
DELETE ME PLEASE
DELETE ME PLEASE
DELETE ME PLEASE
DELETE ME PLEASE
DELETE ME PLEASE
DELETE ME PLEASE
DELETE ME PLEASE
DELETE ME PLEASE
DELETE ME PLEASE
DELETE ME PLEASE
DELETE ME PLEASE
DELETE ME PLEASE
DELETE ME PLEASE
DELETE ME PLEASE
DELETE ME PLEASE
DELETE ME PLEASE
DELETE ME PLEASE
DELETE ME PLEASE
DELETE ME PLEASE
DELETE ME PLEASE
DELETE ME PLEASE
DELETE ME PLEASE
DELETE ME PLEASE
DELETE ME PLEASE
DELETE ME PLEASE
DELETE ME PLEASE
DELETE ME PLEASE
DELETE ME PLEASE
DELETE ME PLEASE

[Halal Meat]

well you made a decision to tell her your personal stuff...its not like she asked...so maby she doesnt feel comfortable telling you this yet and you have no reason to get mad at her...but what i do suggest is that you go out a few times and if she begans to trust you she'll let you kno :thumbleft

[Mz23BabyPhat]

give the girl time...she has to know who shes talkin to 1st to let everything out...and sometimes theres some things that girls prefer keeping things to themselves...as for me..it takes me awhile to trust someone...im not to open cuz i gotta know the person before that person knows everything bout me..so just give her time and when the time comes..u'll know everything u need to know bout her..
p.s dont let other ppl get involved between u and ur girl...cuz u never know if their saying the truth or not .. :sarb:

[Halal Meat]

p.s dont let other ppl get involved between u and ur girl...cuz u never know if their saying the truth or not .. :sarb:
indeed

[thanatoski]

stab her

[girl-next-door]

Sometimes it's hard for some people to discuss about their personal stuff especially when it comes to their past relationships. If you both have a mutual attraction towards each other, then it shouldn't really matter who you both dated before, because obviously it didn't work out that's why you both are not with them anymore. Just give her some time, who knows she might tell you about her past herself when she gets comfortable with you. Also just because she's not comfortable about discussing her past relationships does not mean that she's not genuine.

[pnp366]

hmm, did you ask her about her past relationships? did she tell you something different? if not, then shes not doing anything wrong, sometimes you just dont feel comfortable, or that relationship really didnt mean much, so no point in bringing it up.

its not like youre dating right? youre just her friend right now, she has no need to tell you

[FLyboy85]

DELETE ME PLEASE
DELETE ME PLEASE

[FLyboy85]

DELETE ME PLEASE
DELETE ME PLEASE

[girl-next-door]

Your past makes you who you are today. If you forget about it, youre just being ignorant.


It's not about forgetting your past, it's about not wanting to discuss your past with each and every person you come across. If you directly ask her something about her past and she tells you that she is not comfortable discussing about it, then you have to respect her wishes. But if she blatantly lies about it, then yes you have a reason to discuss it with her. But if you are not dating and she didn't lie about anything then you have no reason to go behind her back, find out about her past and then question her about it.

[FLyboy85]

DELETE ME PLEASE
DELETE ME PLEASE

[~blackrose~]

1st of all, a phone/net relationship DOES NOT work out right! TRUST ME!!!! I'm a victim of it and now, i understand :brickwall
And especially since she's hesitating to tell u about her past, how will the two of u work it out later? My explanation of her behavior would be that she doesn't know what you'll think of her when she tells u or maybe she wants 2 get over a bad past

[FLyboy85]

DELETE ME PLEASE
DELETE ME PLEASE

[FLyboy85]

1st of all, a phone/net relationship DOES NOT work out right! TRUST ME!!!! I'm a victim of it and now, i understand :brickwall
And especially since she's hesitating to tell u about her past, how will the two of u work it out later? My explanation of her behavior would be that she doesn't know what you'll think of her when she tells u or maybe she wants 2 get over a bad past
Its nice that you think that one experience is the end of the world.

I disagree.

To counteract your 1 experince, I can point you in the direction of shaadi.com where more than 1000 people have gotten together and married.

[pnp366]

I thought exactly like you did at first about the whole "youre not dating right now"... But, we're obviously talking because we basically want to date each other. Its the whole "getting to know you" phase. I asked her about her past, she told me about one guy (well, sorta - she didnt tell me the complete truth about him until a few weeks later and the extent of her relationship with him). The other guy, she hasnt talked about at all. The reason we are not physically together is because we both have work and cant be together, so we are trying a phone/net relationship as a foundation.


whats the complete truth? tell her it bothers you, ask her why she wont tell you.


be upfront, better now then after a few more weeks when youre more involved

[FLyboy85]

DELETE ME PLEASE
DELETE ME PLEASE

[Mz23BabyPhat]

Harval and Babyphat - How long do you think two people can keep talking until she finally tells me the truth? Do you think theres a time frame?

Would you be okay with someone withholding something that might be VERY important to you?
U just gotta give this person time..cuz maybe she still doesnt feel comfy talkin to bout certain things yet..and if u cant wait..just let her know whats going through ur head...

[FLyboy85]

babyphat - how long should someone wait?

[pnp366]

1.5 months

[Mz23BabyPhat]

babyphat - how long should someone wait?
till whenever...just be patient and if shes still not openin up to you..let her k now thats it botherin you..how long have u guys known eachother?

[FLyboy85]

DELETE ME PLEASE
DELETE ME PLEASE

[FLyboy85]

DELETE ME PLEASE
DELETE ME PLEASE

[pnp366]

youre being taken for a ride, go get another gf

[Mz23BabyPhat]

Over 2 months. Talk every day for at least 2-3 hrs. Weekends, 6-7 hrs.
2 months is still short..but umm ya'll talk alot...goodluck on everything..

[gujulicious]

i dont really like discussing about my past relationships either. so i wouldnt tell the guy. if he wants to tell me about his im fine wiht that but i wouldnt tell unless im super serious about him. that could happen ever after 2 years of talkiin to him.

in your case, i say u shud meet her and talk to her and stuff and eventually if she feels the need she'll tell u. and if SHE doesnt then she obviously doesnt trust u enough OR she feels the truth will hurt u and u might not talk to her or wutever ...u know?
she probably didnt know ud find out some other way..

[sachin_patel]

can i jerk u off? :D

[FLyboy85]

babyphat - we try to make up for being physically apart.
guju - i think your age and our age makes a difference.

[lovindia]

can I beat you with this http://www.allaboutpromos.com/product_images/n/504514m.jpg

[girl-next-door]

You think its wrong to be inquisitive about someone who youre considering dating? I dont. If its someone I dont really know, and theyre frinds of a friend of mine, I will ask my friends what they think of her. I know some poeple lie and say they never ask anything, but I find that almost impossible to believe... MANY poeple have asked me my opinions about other people. In fact, more girls ask then guys do because I think the majority of girls cant tell if a guy is genuine or if he just wants sex.

She didnt "lie" she just didnt say anything. I asked her something like "Oh, have you ever dated a guy outside your race?" And her response was "I am really attracted to Indian guys more than anything else, because it makes sense for a long term relationship..." Ive hinted a few times like that, but never a proper response.

As for not dating... If you are trying to "talk to someone" with the potential of dating. Like serious flirting on the phone where you discuss almost everything else. And it has continued for a month, do you think that its necessary to tell the truth? Im assuming your answer is no.

Yes, its necessary to get to know someone when you are considering dating them. I never said don't ask her questions or don't ask her about her past. But there is a difference when you ask someone and they tell you outright that they are not comfortable discusisng it right now and they will tell you everything when they are comfortable, and going out behind their back and digging up their past. Yes, everyone asks for their friends opinions when they are considering dating someone....there's nothing wrong with that. If you have any quesitons or concerns, talk to her first and if she hesitates then ask her why is she so hesitant?

Well, if she lied to you or tried to ignore the topic whenver you asked her questions, then try to talk to her and ask her why she's not comfortable discussing her past relationships? don't get mad at her or argue with her but jsut try to discuss it with her in an adult manner. Maybe she thinks that if she tells you she dated non-indians then you will lose interest in her or judge her based on that. when you talk to her, let her know that you are just trying to get to know her better and it won't change how you feel for her just because she has dated few guys.

[FLyboy85]

Maybe she thinks that if she tells you she dated non-indians then you will lose interest in her or judge her based on that.
Duh!

when you talk to her, let her know that you are just trying to get to know her better and it won't change how you feel for her just because she has dated few guys.
I dont want to lie to her.

[thaiz]

:scratch:

[sachin_patel]

:scratch:
:slap: delete him

[girl-next-door]

Duh!


I dont want to lie to her.

Well, if you are going to judge her based on who she has dated in the past, then she is better off without you. And she is smart for not telling you all about her. It's not like you haven't dated anyone before that. and if you have been in past relationships then why do you have a problem with her being with other guys in the past. You are a hypocrite...and you should leave her for her good!

[FLyboy85]

Ive never dated anyone in the past. Ive never kissed anyone.

[girl-next-door]

Ive never dated anyone in the past. Ive never kissed anyone.

Didn't you say in your original post that you have told her everything about your past relationships but she hasn't. Hence, you coming to RD to seek some advice on whether to get mad at her about it or not?

*Edit* And so what, if she has dated before and you haven't? that doesn't make her a bad person. Are you trying to say that if things do work out between you 2 and then in future you break up for some reason, then after that you dont have a right to date other people......just because then you would be a "bad" person and everyone should judge you based on that?

[pnp366]

phone relationships suck.

they really do.


im getting an arranged marriage,

ill die being content, maybe even happy

[FLyboy85]

The conversation about my past ended pretty quick. Not that much to tell.

Its not that you cant date, but you should tell someone about it. And if theyre not okay with it, so be it. Ive had girls say that they wont date a guy who is not a virgin (because they are and they think its the moral thing to do). Ive had others say that they wont date a guy who IS a virgin (its annoying to try and teach him how to act). Everyone has different beliefs and I respect everyones choices.

Let me put it this way...

Most girls are okay with a guy who has slept with a few girls... But when the number of women he has slept with reaches triple digits (100+) women dont really want to date him anymore, in general.

^Downplay that and youll see what I mean. Its up to the individual to set the limit.

[thaiz]

:slap: delete himhttp://us.i1.yimg.com/us.yimg.com/i/mesg/emoticons6/40.gif got it :p