ladies of RD, i seek your advice..

[tjnptel1]

OK sorry for this lengthy post. but something has been bugging me.

Some background info first. A few weeks back, my friend had a house party and there was a girl there that got my attention. I grew a liking for her. She was this very cute, homely like, innocent girl. Great fun, knew how to party it down. She did however get a lil trashed. And I ended up taking care of her for the night. She is at the time dating another guy so I had respected that and didn't make my move and kept my distance.

Fastforward to this past sat. and I was talking to a friend. He told me that his roommate told my friend that they hooked up with the girl that night 'cause she ended up passing out in his roommate's bed. and that the roommate slept on the same bed and ended up fingering the girl.

Now, i don't know if i should believe my friend's roommate. 'cause the girl didn't seem that type of a person which is what really attracted me to her initially. now i don't know what to do.. believe my friend's roommate and take it that she is just like any other hoe. I am one who doesn't believe everything he hears unless it's heard from the person involved. So I want to ask the girl whether what is being said truly happened but then i don't know how to approach her with that and i don't want to seem to be a snitch to my friend. so what the fuck should i do.. how do i approach her?

[pnp366]

damn, you did say she was wasted right? maybe she didnt realize?


just be upfront, the best way, for everyone, that way everything is out on the table

[Double*D]

hmm...it's kinda not your business to ask that...especially if you'd only met her once...you'd come off as kinda psycho and overbearing...

however if you MUST know...just be like "so i heard that..." but then you'd come off as a typical gossipy desi.

i dunno i'd just leave it and get to know her better and see if she's still worthwhile.

[tjnptel1]

hmm...it's kinda not your business to ask that...especially if you'd only met her once...you'd come off as kinda psycho and overbearing...

however if you MUST know...just be like "so i heard that..." but then you'd come off as a typical gossipy desi.

i dunno i'd just leave it and get to know her better and see if she's still worthwhile.
no, i met her more then once in this past few weeks., and we talk daily on the phone. i think we are really close..

[rubayath]

hmm...it's kinda not your business to ask that...especially if you'd only met her once...you'd come off as kinda psycho and overbearing...

however if you MUST know...just be like "so i heard that..." but then you'd come off as a typical gossipy desi.

i dunno i'd just leave it and get to know her better and see if she's still worthwhile.


OT: on your profile...do you like have pic of you in something tight... so we can see ur boobs... if so i;d go and check out :yes:



just wondering..

[SIXPAK GQ]

OK sorry for this lengthy post. but something has been bugging me.

Some background info first. A few weeks back, my friend had a house party and there was a girl there that got my attention. I grew a liking for her. She was this very cute, homely like, innocent girl. Great fun, knew how to party it down. She did however get a lil trashed. And I ended up taking care of her for the night. She is at the time dating another guy so I had respected that and didn't make my move and kept my distance.

Fastforward to this past sat. and I was talking to a friend. He told me that his roommate told my friend that they hooked up with the girl that night 'cause she ended up passing out in his roommate's bed. and that the roommate slept on the same bed and ended up fingering the girl.

Now, i don't know if i should believe my friend's roommate. 'cause the girl didn't seem that type of a person which is what really attracted me to her initially. now i don't know what to do.. believe my friend's roommate and take it that she is just like any other hoe. I am one who doesn't believe everything he hears unless it's heard from the person involved. So I want to ask the girl whether what is being said truly happened but then i don't know how to approach her with that and i don't want to seem to be a snitch to my friend. so what the fuck should i do.. how do i approach her?

RULE #1 : Never ask a girl for dating/flirting/relationship advice, thought u knew that already player...

[tjnptel1]

d
just be upfront, the best way, for everyone, that way everything is out on the table
but like Double D said, it's not my business to ask her. so i don't know how she'd take it.. how would you take it if some guy approached you and asked "hey, that friday night.. did you hook up with blah blah blah.. and let him finger you?"

[SIXPAK GQ]

but like Double D said, it's not my business to ask her. so i don't know how she'd take it.. how would you take it if some guy approached you and asked "hey, that friday night.. did you hook up with blah blah blah.. and let him finger you?"

do you really know that chick? if not, its would be considered a little too personal, but why do you care at this point?

[tjnptel1]

i dunno i'd just leave it and get to know her better and see if she's still worthwhile.
that's the thing, i don't want to let it be. 'cause my impression of her has changed, and i have lost interest in the girl.. which is kinda disappointing and sad. but i don't want to lose out if it's not true. and i don't want to pursue it if it is true.

[Double*D]

no, i met her more then once in this past few weeks., and we talk daily on the phone. i think we are really close..
in that case, since you are close....be like well "i heard that this happened and i was genuinely surprised. and i wanted to be sure that people weren't spreading untrue rumors so i thought i'd check with you. sorry to be all up in your business."

rahill...i'd prefer that you jack off to something other than my pictures....CALM YOSELF YOU HORNY MOFO.

[GeminiPinay]

i say hire some detective to follow with a camera.. i seen the shows. But iono how much it would cost..it seems the best way w/o confrontation.

[tjnptel1]

do you really know that chick? if not, its would be considered a little too personal, but why do you care at this point?
refer to above reply.

[pnp366]

ok if he said it like that id be pissed

you can say

'hey, i knwo youre a great girl, and i dont think yorue like that, and i dont want tthis to spread so im letting ya know'


have a little class

[SIXPAK GQ]

refer to above reply.

why don't u just get to know her and play ur cards right, if she likes u then u can ask this question later, if she doesnt feel u then it doesnt matter

[tjnptel1]

in that case, since you are close....be like well "i heard that this happened and i was genuinely surprised. and i wanted to be sure that people weren't spreading untrue rumors so i thought i'd check with you. sorry to be all up in your business."

rahill...i'd prefer that you jack off to something other than my pictures....CALM YOSELF YOU HORNY MOFO.
but i think she is closer to my friend's roommate, i don't want her going back to him and being like "wtf did you say about me.." and then that guy being all pissed off at me. though i do wish she'd be more mature about it and not go back to him about it but we all know that wouldn't happen.

[That Bitch]

Sounds like he let his fingers do the walking without her consent!

If she was passed out, how could she hook up with someone?

[tjnptel1]

why don't u just get to know her and play ur cards right, if she likes u then u can ask this question later, if she doesnt feel u then it doesnt matter
oh i know she is feeling me.. as a matter of fact i was going to see her coming up weekend and i was going to make my move but now this has just changed things.

[Double*D]

but i think she is closer to my friend's roommate, i don't want her going back to him and being like "wtf did you say about me.." and then that guy being all pissed off at me. though i do wish she'd be more mature about it and not go back to him about it but we all know that wouldn't happen.
well it comes down to whether you are closer with the girl or the roommate. also, is this roommate dude interested in her as well?? and is she still with her boyfriend in all this?

[tjnptel1]

Sounds like he let his fingers do the walking without her consent!

If she was passed out, how could she hook up with someone?
yeah i questioned that too.. that would be very very fucking shitty of him to do that.

[Simplicity25]

Instead of double guessing yourself and what the roommate said...just ask. All people really need to do is communicate and stuff works out. SO what if it's a little awkward? Let her know what you asked and what your concern was...and if she still gets weird, then she isn't the type of girl you thought she was.

[rubayath]

in that case, since you are close....be like well "i heard that this happened and i was genuinely surprised. and i wanted to be sure that people weren't spreading untrue rumors so i thought i'd check with you. sorry to be all up in your business."

rahill...i'd prefer that you jack off to something other than my pictures....CALM YOSELF YOU HORNY MOFO.


No man.. ewwwwwwwwwwww no jerk off.... WTF... u not my type .... u kn that... the reason I makin fun of u is cos of ur SN... its just a reacution to your aution... get it? hehhe ... u should really like ... consider an SN change... or just deal with you. ;)

[tjnptel1]

well it comes down to whether you are closer with the girl or the roommate. also, is this roommate dude interested in her as well?? and is she still with her boyfriend in all this?
the roommate is not interested in her at all.. i guess he just found an easy hook up. and the guy she was dating, well we can pretty much say that's over with. they were fighting when we first met and now it's pretty much over.. the guy is trying to get back but she pretty much said it's over.

[Double*D]

No man.. ewwwwwwwwwwww no jerk off.... WTF... u not my type .... u kn that... the reason I makin fun of u is cos of ur SN... its just a reacution to your aution... get it? hehhe ... u should really like ... consider an SN change... or just deal with you. ;)
umm...from what i could decipher you're not interested in jerking off to my pictures. and therefore i am comforted. other than that...i have no clue what you just said. now stop shittifying this thread before you make people mad!

[That Bitch]

yeah i questioned that too.. that would be very very fucking shitty of him to do that.

Yeah it would, and for him to even SAY that happen shows what kind of person he is! He may be just trying to throw salt in your game...do you know how she made her way into their conversation in the first place?

Why would a guy want to mess around with a chick that isn't in her right frame of mind unless he can't get any otherwise or is a fuckin scumbag?

[SIXPAK GQ]

tj : what has changed?

[Double*D]

the roommate is not interested in her at all.. i guess he just found an easy hook up. and the guy she was dating, well we can pretty much say that's over with. they were fighting when we first met and now it's pretty much over.. the guy is trying to get back but she pretty much said it's over.
does she know that you're potentially interested??

well in any case, like you yourself said, there's no way to know without asking her. so now its just a matter of deciding how to phrase it...i think you should come out and tell her what you heard and who you heard it from...and that you hope that she doesn't feel the need to confront anyone because that would be overreacting and all you want to do is get the truth and not judge her. (even though you kinda are, but you can tell a white lie go for it.)

[tjnptel1]

Yeah it would, and for him to even SAY that happen shows what kind of person he is! He may be just trying to throw salt in your game...do you know how she made her way into their conversation in the first place?

Why would a guy want to mess around with a chick that isn't in her right frame of mind unless he can't get any otherwise or is a fuckin scumbag?
yeah, i think he was boasting to his roommate, my friend, about it. And my friend brought it up with me this weekend.. he was like "i think you should know this. i believe jack (name change) messed with jane (name changed) that night we had a house party. "

[tjnptel1]

does she know that you're potentially interested??

well in any case, like you yourself said, there's no way to know without asking her. so now its just a matter of deciding how to phrase it...i think you should come out and tell her what you heard and who you heard it from...and that you hope that she doesn't feel the need to confront anyone because that would be overreacting and all you want to do is get the truth and not judge her. (even though you kinda are, but you can tell a white lie go for it.)
honestly, how would you react if someone approached you that way? wouldn't you want to confront the roommate and be like "Wtf bitch" and say what if you weren't in your right frame of mind and don't remember most of teh night and were passed out.. then what?.. it's like stirring a bee's nest.

[That Bitch]

yeah, i think he was boasting to his roommate, my friend, about it. And my friend brought it up with me this weekend.. he was like "i think you should know this. i believe jack (name change) messed with jane (name changed) that night we had a house party. "

Okay, you do realize how easy it is to finger a girl that is passed out...and for him to brag about it leads me to believe that...

1. He doesn't respect her
2. She may not even KNOW what happened
3. He's an asshole
4. Maybe you SHOULD ask her, but only because you care about her and not for your ego's sake. Broach the subject with concern and without being accusatory...and keep her calm WHEN she flips out. Then decide what to do about it.
5. She should be more careful!

[tjnptel1]

Okay, you do realize how easy it is to finger a girl that is passed out...and for him to brag about it leads me to believe that...

1. He doesn't respect her
2. She may not even KNOW what happened
3. He's an asshole
4. Maybe you SHOULD ask her, but only because you care about her and not for your ego's sake. Broach the subject with concern and without being accusatory...and keep her calm WHEN she flips out. Then decide what to do about it.
5. She should be more careful!yeah.. which is why i am like "WTF?" i am concerned about her more then my ego.. 'cause i believe this girl has alot of potential in being a great girl and that she is not liek those desi sluts you see getting trashed at partied.. hearing this, this weekend kinda crushed my heart into believing she is just like everyone of the other girls there.

[Double*D]

honestly, how would you react if someone approached you that way? wouldn't you want to confront the roommate and be like "Wtf bitch" and say what if you weren't in your right frame of mind and don't remember most of teh night and were passed out.. then what?.. it's like stirring a bee's nest.
well yea i'm aware...but you want to know...and this is the only way that you will know. and therefore all you can hope to do is phrase your inquiry in the most tactful manner and hope everything works out for the best.

if you want you should add the fact that you really care about her and therefore you want to make sure that she wasn't taken advantage of..tell her you're there for her and advise her not to make any rash decisions about confronting the dude if she isn't sure about what happened...in any case, if she doesn't know...she deserves to...don't go worrying about protecting the dude and his anonymity. thats bs. especially if you truly care for her.

[tjnptel1]

if she doesn't know...she deserves to...don't go worrying about protecting the dude and his anonymity. thats bs. especially if you truly care for her.
i believe that is very true. i think i'd be satisfied at her knowing if she doesn't so she realizes what kinda people are out there and not to drink where.

[That Bitch]

yeah.. which is why i am like "WTF?" i am concerned about her more then my ego.. 'cause i believe this girl has alot of potential in being a great girl and that she is not liek those desi sluts you see getting trashed at partied.. hearing this, this weekend kinda crushed my heart into believing she is just like everyone of the other girls there.

Then fuck that...talk to her about it...and then continue building your friendship, it's obvious you really like her! That was only one incident and you can get past that, especially if she was unaware of what happened, which it sounds like to me.

I've been drugged before at a club! And I managed to get away from the guy just in time...so I can sympathize.

[tjnptel1]

Then fuck that...talk to her about it...and then continue building your friendship, it's obvious you really like her! That was only one incident and you can get past that, especially if she was unaware of what happened, which it sounds like to me.

I've been drugged before at a club! And I managed to get away from the guy just in time...so I can sympathize.
yeah, i believe so too.. i think i am going to ask her about it.. now i just phrase it smoothly. thanks alot you two.. means alot to get this off my chest and be able to get a real perspective then from one who has their brain between their legs. ;)

[miss_qupid]

Honesty is the best policy son, be upfront, but wait she mite get all offended n embarrased...

[Double*D]

lol you're welcome...i hope it all works out for you!!

[angelique]

i dont know man if u really really like her what she did in the past shouldn't bother u.. so what if she got dirty with a guy... its like...

suppose u ask a girl out... and she is willing to sleep with u the first night... u would have second thoughts? can it not be that mebbe she felt something really strong...

women are weird like that.. u know

and dont ask her that! its insulting... ask her out of if u like her assuming the worst is true... and if u dont like her assuming that then mebbe ur not good neough for her.

[That Bitch]

lol you're welcome...i hope it all works out for you!!

Ditto! :D