So....I have a family coming to see me

[Clueless_uk]

The groom's family that is.....

Now...how does this stuff work?

I sit there dolled up infront of his and my family....silent....they jibber rubbish amongst eachother...then I am told I may be taken to a seperate room by his mother or sister so they could check out my hair...and I bet they will also make sure my body parts are in the right places.

Then...I am told...they will leave me in that room with the guy and a thrid party so we could chit chat.

I mean...what the hell am I suppose to say?

One thing I will ask for sure...is if he is being forced into this - this question must be taken out of the way first...as there seems to be a lot of men being forced into arranged marriages for some odd reason.

So...any tips about what to ask? What not to ask? This sure is giving me a bit of a head ache.

[iluvuqt]

my advice would be to keep easy and light at first

you dont want to start out to heavy...b/c it may seem that u aren't interested in it (unless that is the case then scare his ass away w/ kazillion questions)

Birthday? Work? Fav Food? Fav Movie?

then bust out with the ... "soo do u really want to do this or..."

unless his body language reads differently - then u might want to ask right away.

[thebrownreason]

wayyy too old-fashioned. :no:

[thebrownreason]

i mean, you really want all these people involved in your marriage? with deciding who YOU'RE gonna spend the rest of your life with, per say?

[CorruptNightfall]

Oh hunny.... Your situation sounds WAY too old fashioned....

Best thing...don't sit alone with him.... Its way too uncomfortable. When my family was looking for my sister, if I was home on those weekends I would sit with her, and so would someone from his side and it would just be a casual convo.

As for dolling yourself up.... dont. Stay natural :neutral: or minimal make-up. Anyone can look good WITH makeup...you just need to show them you have a natural beauty without doing much makeup.

Best of luck!

[thebrownreason]

Oh hunny.... Your situation sounds WAY too old fashioned....

Best thing...don't sit alone with him.... Its way too uncomfortable. When my family was looking for my sister, if I was home on those weekends I would sit with her, and so would someone from his side and it would just be a casual convo.

As for dolling yourself up.... dont. Stay natural :neutral: or minimal make-up. Anyone can look good WITH makeup...you just need to show them you have a natural beauty without doing much makeup.

Best of luck!

and you don't think that's old fashioned either?

:no:

[Z4K5T4R]

Oh hunny.... Your situation sounds WAY too old fashioned....

Best thing...don't sit alone with him.... Its way too uncomfortable. When my family was looking for my sister, if I was home on those weekends I would sit with her, and so would someone from his side and it would just be a casual convo.

As for dolling yourself up.... dont. Stay natural :neutral: or minimal make-up. Anyone can look good WITH makeup...you just need to show them you have a natural beauty without doing much makeup.

Best of luck!
^^ Yeh what he/she said. My mate didn't wear any make up when they came to see her her reason being so they can't say after marriage that she looked pretty because of make up etc etc you know asian culture anything to critisize about. She advised to ask general questions, you know when you first meet someone. If you can't think of anything just pretend you're a shy bride and giggle every few mins.

[iluvuqt]

and you don't think that's old fashioned either?

:no:


it is what it is...doesn't change the fact she has to go through it

[CorruptNightfall]

and you don't think that's old fashioned either?

:no:

Lol... Okay we'll admit... it was WAY too old fashioned. Even my parents were like wth do we do!? But meh! Its done...shes happily married...no complaints!

[CorruptNightfall]

^^ Yeh what he/she said. My mate didn't wear any make up when they came to see her her reason being so they can't say after marriage that she looked pretty because of make up etc etc you know asian culture anything to critisize about. She advised to ask general questions, you know when you first meet someone. If you can't think of anything just pretend you're a shy bride and giggle every few mins.

DONT do that!

Just be natural... seriously. FOr all you know..he might like that and expect you to be that shy giggly type after marriage which most likely wont happen :p

[Z4K5T4R]

DONT do that!

Just be natural... seriously. FOr all you know..he might like that and expect you to be that shy giggly type after marriage which most likely wont happen :p
Yeh... that does sound a bit kinkeh doesn't it.

[iluvuqt]

just be yourself, and dress up the way you most feel comfortable.
no reason to make it even more complicated

[-Ziad-]

wayyy too old-fashioned. :no:rofl. werd.

this shit still happens?

[CorruptNightfall]

Yeh... that does sound a bit kinkeh doesn't it.

A bit? :p

[thebrownreason]

rofl. werd.

this shit still happens?

lol

i guess it does :dunno:
RD people are hella old-fashioned


i don't know anyone from my immediate family, in the states, who do it that way. maybe overseas.

[-Ziad-]

i would cop a feel. oh im so fly.

[thebrownreason]

Lol... Okay we'll admit... it was WAY too old fashioned. Even my parents were like wth do we do!? But meh! Its done...shes happily married...no complaints!

if she's happy
then i'm all for it

[CorruptNightfall]

lol

i guess it does :dunno:
RD people are hella old-fashioned


i don't know anyone from my immediate family, in the states, who do it that way. maybe overseas.

Then how do they do that?

Or even, how would you do it if you found someone yourself... wouldnt you still technically send a proposal through your parents etc...

[Geezer]

Ask him if he has a big willy and take it from there.

[thebrownreason]

Then how do they do that?

Or even, how would you do it if you found someone yourself... wouldnt you still technically send a proposal through your parents etc...

lmao. no, like my sister was with this dood for 2 years. he had dinner with the fam a couple times and my parents liked him and uhh they got engaged after that. now they're married.

[thebrownreason]

Ask him if he has a big willy and take it from there.
:rofl:

[Clueless_uk]

Yes it is old fashioned - but that is how it works with us lot.

Anyhow...I will avoid dolling my self up...make-up doesn't do me any favours anyway...besides yes, I'd rather they see my spots now...but I have a feeling if I don't wear some make-up my mother will end up putting it on for me!

What really freaks me out....is that if it works out....my life will change...I will have to move out...not next door...but to England!....Quit my wonderful job....everything will be based around him...the man! Oh man, I think I need a pint.


of milk

NAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNN NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN

[thebrownreason]

why don't you get him to move to where you're at now?

[-Ziad-]

lol

i guess it does :dunno:
RD people are hella old-fashioned


i don't know anyone from my immediate family, in the states, who do it that way. maybe overseas.it is oldfashioned, for first generations im guessing its okay. but the whole sitting with the groom alone just sounds humorous to me. i would love to do it though.

[Clueless_uk]

Ask him if he has a big willy and take it from there.

To be honest...I am more worried about his mother...do you think I should ask him more about her?

[thebrownreason]

it is oldfashioned, for first generations im guessing its okay. but the whole sitting with the groom alone just sounds humorous to me. i would love to do it though.

lol

it would be hella awkward. like would i spit game? or would it be formal conversation? :rofl:

[CorruptNightfall]

lmao. no, like my sister was with this dood for 2 years. he had dinner with the fam a couple times and my parents liked him and uhh they got engaged after that. now they're married.

Oh my..theres no fun in that then!

See if clueless's gets past this stage..the next stage is the background check :p There's so much more suspense in that!

Im kidding... (But the background check is true)... Thats nice that your family is accepting like that =)

[CorruptNightfall]

To be honest...I am more worried about his mother...do you think I should ask him more about her?

Why are you worried about her?

Show a general interest in his family...but honestly hun... be yourself!

[Clueless_uk]

why don't you get him to move to where you're at now?

err yeh...like that will go down really well with the mother...her only son...moving to scotland....somehow I don't think so.

[ArTmALik]

The groom's family that is.....

Now...how does this stuff work?

I sit there dolled up infront of his and my family....silent....they jibber rubbish amongst eachother...then I am told I may be taken to a seperate room by his mother or sister so they could check out my hair...and I bet they will also make sure my body parts are in the right places.

Then...I am told...they will leave me in that room with the guy and a thrid party so we could chit chat.

I mean...what the hell am I suppose to say?

One thing I will ask for sure...is if he is being forced into this - this question must be taken out of the way first...as there seems to be a lot of men being forced into arranged marriages for some odd reason.

So...any tips about what to ask? What not to ask? This sure is giving me a bit of a head ache.

LOL FUNNY..DO TELL HIM UR FUTURE HUBBY THAT U MADE THIS THREAD.

[Z4K5T4R]

Ask him if he has a big willy and take it from there.
I heard some story can't remember from who though, the guy got married to this girl, he used to go on ''business'' trips all the time and the Mother in Law used to always encourage the girl to go into her Husbands younger brothers room for a bit of ''ohh la la'' cutting story short she found out her Husband didn't have a anda danda hence they wanted her to mingle with her husbands brother. They divorced in the end.

[-Ziad-]

lol

it would be hella awkward. like would i spit game? or would it be formal conversation? :rofl:
:rofl:

that's exactly what i was thinking. around pickup. 'so how about you give me your number beautiful'.. wait a FUCKING sec we are getting married?

[thebrownreason]

err yeh...like that will go down really well with the mother...her only son...moving to scotland....somehow I don't think so.

uhhh

we can't live with our parents forever. it's not like she'll never see him again.



some desi families mang, so strange.

[Geezer]

To be honest...I am more worried about his mother...do you think I should ask him more about her?

Don't be too obvious about it but just ask what kinda relationship he has with his mother and whether she'll teach you some cooking. Would you be living with mr man's family?

[thebrownreason]

Oh my..theres no fun in that then!

See if clueless's gets past this stage..the next stage is the background check :p There's so much more suspense in that!

Im kidding... (But the background check is true)... Thats nice that your family is accepting like that =)

you'd rather get to know your future husband with your family his family around drilling you with stupid questions vs. casual dating?

[Geezer]

I heard some story can't remember from who though, the guy got married to this girl, he used to go on ''business'' trips all the time and the Mother in Law used to always encourage the girl to go into her Husbands younger brothers room for a bit of ''ohh la la'' cutting story short she found out her Husband didn't have a anda danda hence they wanted her to mingle with her husbands brother. They divorced in the end.

God that's a bit sick. The only thing worse than that is actually marrying your cousin.

[Z4K5T4R]

CLUELESS- Where you from? Don't forget to get his Mobile Number so you can get to know him on a personality level.

[Z4K5T4R]

God that's a bit sick. The only thing worse than that is actually marrying your cousin.
Well i don't know how long the family thought they can hide such a big thing as a non-existent w*lly.

[thebrownreason]

I heard some story can't remember from who though, the guy got married to this girl, he used to go on ''business'' trips all the time and the Mother in Law used to always encourage the girl to go into her Husbands younger brothers room for a bit of ''ohh la la'' cutting story short she found out her Husband didn't have a anda danda hence they wanted her to mingle with her husbands brother. They divorced in the end.

LMAO. wth?


poor dood.

[-Ziad-]

I heard some story can't remember from who though, the guy got married to this girl, he used to go on ''business'' trips all the time and the Mother in Law used to always encourage the girl to go into her Husbands younger brothers room for a bit of ''ohh la la'' cutting story short she found out her Husband didn't have a anda danda hence they wanted her to mingle with her husbands brother. They divorced in the end.He didn't have a male sexual organ? did i read that write? wtf he didn't commit suicide? props man props.

[Geezer]

Well i don't know how long the family thought they can hide such a big thing as a non-existent w*lly.

:lol: I used to shock my ex into believing that I had lost my willy. I'd pull the little girl on her, tuck it between my legs and act surprised "shit where has it gone?!" :lol:

[thebrownreason]

He didn't have a male sexual organ? did i read that write? wtf he didn't commit suicide? props man props.
:rofl:


poor dood could never piss in public standing up. lol

[Z4K5T4R]

He didn't have a male sexual organ? did i read that write? wtf he didn't commit suicide? props man props.
If you don't have it you will never know the pleasure that you miss from it.

[s11nyk]

well first things 1st

1 - ask if its what he wants
2 - How much does he earn
3 - does heplan to live with his parents ot into his own house
4 - can you stay at home while he earns for the both of you

those were some of the questions thrown at me at my various meets...

[CorruptNightfall]

you'd rather get to know your future husband with your family his family around drilling you with stupid questions vs. casual dating?

Well Im all for either or... but not BOTH at the same time... I personally am in a messed up position where I'm interested in a guy...but because he hasnt sent a proposal yet my moms started looking..therefore have 5 proposals ish on the side... now isnt that fun :p

Thing with getting to know your husband with family around is that he/she is likely to come to respect the family the way you do etc... and who said you cant do casual dates with the guy if you're interested in him after meeting him with family...

[di vinci]

The groom's family that is.....

Now...how does this stuff work?

I sit there dolled up infront of his and my family....silent....they jibber rubbish amongst eachother...then I am told I may be taken to a seperate room by his mother or sister so they could check out my hair...and I bet they will also make sure my body parts are in the right places.

Then...I am told...they will leave me in that room with the guy and a thrid party so we could chit chat.

I mean...what the hell am I suppose to say?

One thing I will ask for sure...is if he is being forced into this - this question must be taken out of the way first...as there seems to be a lot of men being forced into arranged marriages for some odd reason.

So...any tips about what to ask? What not to ask? This sure is giving me a bit of a head ache.
go for a dinner date instead in a neutral venue. being at hom,e will put pressure on put of you

[s11nyk]

Well i don't know how long the family thought they can hide such a big thing as a non-existent w*lly.
ive got by fine thanks...

[thebrownreason]

well first things 1st

1 - ask if its what he wants
2 - How much does he earn
3 - does heplan to live with his parents ot into his own house
4 - can you stay at home while he earns for the both of you

those were some of the questions thrown at me at my various meets...


:no:

just :no:

[Geezer]

well first things 1st

1 - ask if its what he wants
2 - How much does he earn
3 - does heplan to live with his parents ot into his own house
4 - can you stay at home while he earns for the both of you

those were some of the questions thrown at me at my various meets...

They probably just assumed you had a big willy by looking at your big punjabi nose :kekeke:

[Z4K5T4R]

:lol: I used to shock my ex into believing that I had lost my willy. I'd pull the little girl on her, tuck it between my legs and act surprised "shit where has it gone?!" :lol:
Ok Pras how old was your ex? Because this sounds worrying or was it one of you and your exs' sxl fantasies? :p That reminds me of Friends where Ross did that when he was a little kid pretending to be a girl to go to the beauty salon.

[s11nyk]

Its a pressure situation and your only gonna hear what he thinks you want to hear.

You wont see the real him, unless you agree to meet outside the family environment.

I would ask him a few main questions as to what yourlooking for in a partner, see how that goes, and then if possible arranged to meet him some place to see how he is without the mother being around.

[Geezer]

Ok Pras how old was your ex? Because this sounds worrying or was it one of you and your exs' sxl fantasies? :p That reminds me of Friends where Ross did that when he was a little kid pretending to be a girl to go to the beauty salon.

lol no silly, little girl actually means to hide your bits behind your legs and act surprised :rofl:

[thebrownreason]

Well Im all for either or... but not BOTH at the same time... I personally am in a messed up position where I'm interested in a guy...but because he hasnt sent a proposal yet my moms started looking..therefore have 5 proposals ish on the side... now isnt that fun :p

Thing with getting to know your husband with family around is that he/she is likely to come to respect the family the way you do etc... and who said you cant do casual dates with the guy if you're interested in him after meeting him with family...

you actually let your mom find you a "proposal" ?
how strange, i thought they only did that in movies/overseas.

just tell your mom to chill with looking and that you have a potential dood you like.

[s11nyk]

:no:

just :no:
hard to believe, but those are some of the questions thrown at me.

The funniest one was where this girl decided she could not marry me as her brother said so.....he brother was an investment banker and asi work for the regulators they thought it was not a done thing..

[CorruptNightfall]

Its a pressure situation and your only gonna hear what he thinks you want to hear.

You wont see the real him, unless you agree to meet outside the family environment.

I would ask him a few main questions as to what yourlooking for in a partner, see how that goes, and then if possible arranged to meet him some place to see how he is without the mother being around.

Or get an email/phone number....

talk a bit over the phone/online...THEN see if you can meet up...with the families approval of course.

[-Ziad-]

If you don't have it you will never know the pleasure that you miss from it.So technically it wasn't a guy. Unless he got castrated around birth. If he doesn't have a willy, he's a girl or androgynous or pseudohermaphodite.

[s11nyk]

They probably just assumed you had a big willy by looking at your big punjabi nose :kekeke:
yes and we all know which one you will be yanking later.

[Z4K5T4R]

hard to believe, but those are some of the questions thrown at me.

The funniest one was where this girl decided she could not marry me as her brother said so.....he brother was an investment banker and asi work for the regulators they thought it was not a done thing..
Don't they check that before you see the chicni? So what did your wifey ask you vice versa?

[s11nyk]

Or get an email/phone number....

talk a bit over the phone/online...THEN see if you can meet up...with the families approval of course.
Number yes, emails didnt really work with me as it all depend on how the email is read. You can normally tell from facial expressions and the tone of the voice.

But i defo recommend the out of family contact thing....you should not have to feel pressuirsed in having to say yes to him....

[Geezer]

hard to believe, but those are some of the questions thrown at me.

The funniest one was where this girl decided she could not marry me as her brother said so.....he brother was an investment banker and asi work for the regulators they thought it was not a done thing..

lol incredible

[thebrownreason]

hard to believe, but those are some of the questions thrown at me.

The funniest one was where this girl decided she could not marry me as her brother said so.....he brother was an investment banker and asi work for the regulators they thought it was not a done thing..

LOL. that's such garbage/nonsense.

and going back to the questions thrown at you, do they not expect their daughter to work? i mean, damn!

[Z4K5T4R]

So technically it wasn't a guy. Unless he got castrated around birth. If he doesn't have a willy, he's a girl or androgynous or pseudohermaphodite.
Don't know about the technical side of it. I shall see, but if he walks like a man, talks like a man, he IS a Women!

[_Anarchist]

It would be fucking hilarious if the dude was reading this thread right now.

[s11nyk]

Don't they check that before you see the chicni? So what did your wifey ask you vice versa?
well the way mine was....

Her parents came to se emy 1st, but as normal my uncle knew her dad so things were like "yeah its done deal".....without me even seeing her.

Her dad asked me the normal questions about work, salary etc.........but i just reponded "enought for me to live off"

[Clueless_uk]

uhhh

we can't live with our parents forever. it's not like she'll never see him again.



some desi families mang, so strange.

Desi mothers are very possessive of their sons.

[s11nyk]

lol incredible
hey i just went along for the free food and shit...these girls family really fall over themselves to please the boys side.

[CorruptNightfall]

you actually let your mom find you a "proposal" ?
how strange, i thought they only did that in movies/overseas.

just tell your mom to chill with looking and that you have a potential dood you like.

My mom already knows about the potential guy. I think shes just iffy about it because he has a different background...

And as for mom actually finding a proposal...not really. I guess my words were misleading. SHe just had pictures from my sisters wedding and while she was in Dubai recently had some people see and say they're interested for so in so guy etc.... So its not actually looking... but it sure made her happy *rolls eyes*

[thebrownreason]

well the way mine was....

Her parents came to se emy 1st, but as normal my uncle knew her dad so things were like "yeah its done deal".....without me even seeing her.

Her dad asked me the normal questions about work, salary etc.........but i just reponded "enought for me to live off"

props for actually having balls to say that

[s11nyk]

LOL. that's such garbage/nonsense.

and going back to the questions thrown at you, do they not expect their daughter to work? i mean, damn!
these were questions thrown at me by her whilst alone in the room......

[Z4K5T4R]

It would be fucking hilarious if the dude was reading this thread right now.
He's either a ''Guest'' or very our RDer!
well the way mine was....

Her parents came to se emy 1st, but as normal my uncle knew her dad so things were like "yeah its done deal".....without me even seeing her.

Her dad asked me the normal questions about work, salary etc.........but i just reponded "enought for me to live off"
How long before you did get married? did you meet outside the whole family not being around?

[Clueless_uk]

Don't be too obvious about it but just ask what kinda relationship he has with his mother and whether she'll teach you some cooking. Would you be living with mr man's family?

I may have to live with the man's family as he is the only son.

but hey, they havent even met me yet - and here I am marrying myself off!

[thebrownreason]

My mom already knows about the potential guy. I think shes just iffy about it because he has a different background...

And as for mom actually finding a proposal...not really. I guess my words were misleading. SHe just had pictures from my sisters wedding and while she was in Dubai recently had some people see and say they're interested for so in so guy etc.... So its not actually looking... but it sure made her happy *rolls eyes*

lol

well, good luck with all that.

[Geezer]

Hmm I'm thinking there is a potential market here for the big naughty :think:

[thebrownreason]

these were questions thrown at me by her whilst alone in the room......

desi grils, man. :no:

[Dream_GirL]

To be honest...I am more worried about his mother...do you think I should ask him more about her?
yeah saasss omg.. dey can be big problems.. i think u shud start sussin her out..

[thebrownreason]

Hmm I'm thinking there is a potential market here for the big naughty :think:

get em.

[Clueless_uk]

well first things 1st

1 - ask if its what he wants
2 - How much does he earn
3 - does heplan to live with his parents ot into his own house
4 - can you stay at home while he earns for the both of you

those were some of the questions thrown at me at my various meets...

are these Qs not a bit rude? Also...am I not to pretend I don't even know what a man is?

I mean...these are things I will have to find out...I need to somehow do a credit check on him...and also find out about his courting history.

[Geezer]

I may have to live with the man's family as he is the only son.

but hey, they havent even met me yet - and here I am marrying myself off!

Well obviously go in with an open mind and don't feel pressurised. Also have you thought about who you're going to have your last fling with? Zakster already said she's considering me but my schedule isn't that busy, I can fit you in.

:salut:

[thebrownreason]

Desi mothers are very possessive of their sons.


yeah, can't lie about that.


doesn't mean they need to live with them for the rest of their lives. i guess some desi mothers don't understand the concept of growing up and starting a life of your own.

[Clueless_uk]

Its a pressure situation and your only gonna hear what he thinks you want to hear.

You wont see the real him, unless you agree to meet outside the family environment.

I would ask him a few main questions as to what yourlooking for in a partner, see how that goes, and then if possible arranged to meet him some place to see how he is without the mother being around.

I do hate all these mind games that must be played - but if I arrange such a meeting..I may come accross too farward...so I'm going to hope he is man enough to ask me.

[Geezer]

get em.

Nah I'm only joking. Gotta maintain the family's name etc. I'm thinking if I'm 32 and not married, no luck etc then I might have to send my mum-scout out to bring in the reindeer.

[s11nyk]

props for actually having balls to say that
there was nothing else i could say, i ws in a room of say 20 people (my family and hers) and there was no way i was gonna say yeah i;m onf £40k....more of an incentive to get mer married off....

but thankfully things worked out and 6 years later.....oh and 2 kids later, things are still going good

[s11nyk]

I may have to live with the man's family as he is the only son.

but hey, they havent even met me yet - and here I am marrying myself off!
you just need to be sure that this, and him are what you want.

I always asked for a picture, as i just imaged myself in the east is east situation...

[Dream_GirL]

The groom's family that is.....

Now...how does this stuff work?

I sit there dolled up infront of his and my family....silent....they jibber rubbish amongst eachother...then I am told I may be taken to a seperate room by his mother or sister so they could check out my hair...and I bet they will also make sure my body parts are in the right places.

Then...I am told...they will leave me in that room with the guy and a thrid party so we could chit chat.

I mean...what the hell am I suppose to say?

One thing I will ask for sure...is if he is being forced into this - this question must be taken out of the way first...as there seems to be a lot of men being forced into arranged marriages for some odd reason.

So...any tips about what to ask? What not to ask? This sure is giving me a bit of a head ache.
yeah just be casual.. ask him if he really wants an arranged marriage? n do u?? ..yeah der r sum men bein forced into arranged marriages dats cos dey been screwin round too much.. need 2 settle for sumthing "decent" in de end.. get it?

[-Ziad-]

Don't know about the technical side of it. I shall see, but if he walks like a man, talks like a man, he IS a Women!Zack-stahhh talkin' sense now :lulz:

[s11nyk]

desi grils, man. :no:
tell me about it, thankfully i dont have to worry about them...i worry about desi women these days

[Clueless_uk]

Well obviously go in with an open mind and don't feel pressurised. Also have you thought about who you're going to have your last fling with? Zakster already said she's considering me but my schedule isn't that busy, I can fit you in.

:salut:

Flings don't turn me on.

[thebrownreason]

Nah I'm only joking. Gotta maintain the family's name etc. I'm thinking if I'm 32 and not married, no luck etc then I might have to send my mum-scout out to bring in the reindeer.

you're in a different situation, it's tough on yourself especially when you start to feel old/er. if it doesn't work out for you, i'm sure mom will save the day.

[Geezer]

Flings don't turn me on.

Check please!

:rofl:

[s11nyk]

are these Qs not a bit rude? Also...am I not to pretend I don't even know what a man is?

I mean...these are things I will have to find out...I need to somehow do a credit check on him...and also find out about his courting history.
your right, you need to be sure you aint marrying a deadbeat right.

You need to phrase your questions in a way where they dont ccome across so rude.

[thebrownreason]

there was nothing else i could say, i ws in a room of say 20 people (my family and hers) and there was no way i was gonna say yeah i;m onf £40k....more of an incentive to get mer married off....

but thankfully things worked out and 6 years later.....oh and 2 kids later, things are still going good

oh wow it's been 6 years and 2 kids? you like being a father? lol

[Clueless_uk]

yeah just be casual.. ask him if he really wants an arranged marriage? n do u?? ..yeah der r sum men bein forced into arranged marriages dats cos dey been screwin round too much.. need 2 settle for sumthing "decent" in de end.. get it?

No seriously...I know 2 guys who were emotionally blackmailed into marrying their cousins back home.

[s11nyk]

I do hate all these mind games that must be played - but if I arrange such a meeting..I may come accross too farward...so I'm going to hope he is man enough to ask me.
well you dont ask him directly, you go via the elders

[s11nyk]

Flings don't turn me on.
see i knew you were not toally clueless...:rofl:

[Clueless_uk]

your right, you need to be sure you aint marrying a deadbeat right.

You need to phrase your questions in a way where they dont ccome across so rude.

most likely if he is interested...he will ask for my number...and if I can talk to him over the phone...and I can ask questions to my heart's content - weather he is telling the truth of course is another matter.

Lie detector....will that go down well?

[Clueless_uk]

Check please!

:rofl:

It's all about the sex hey!

[Z4K5T4R]

well you dont ask him directly, you go via the eldersLike when you are in school, you fancy that one boy/girl/tranny you send letters across to people to pass on to him/her/tranny in this situation you send it via elders who will read it first and then pass it on so no dodgy things written!

[Clueless_uk]

see i knew you were not toally clueless...:rofl:

You got to act dumb around the guys.

[s11nyk]

oh wow it's been 6 years and 2 kids? you like being a father? lol
best thing in the world man....how could you not smile when you see these 2 every night and day

........

[CorruptNightfall]

most likely if he is interested...he will ask for my number...and if I can talk to him over the phone...and I can ask questions to my heart's content - weather he is telling the truth of course is another matter.

Lie detector....will that go down well?

Any guy whos going to lie would lie regardless of it being an arranged marriage or NOT... But in most cases the guys are honest when it comes to arranged marriage...

[-Ziad-]

No seriously...I know 2 guys who were emotionally blackmailed into marrying their cousins back home.I hate to say this but; paki?

[thebrownreason]

best thing in the world man....how could you not smile when you see these 2 every night and day

http://photos-b.ak.facebook.com/phot

lol, that's awesome.


i'm so not ready to be a father. how old were you when you got married?

[Geezer]

you're in a different situation, it's tough on yourself especially when you start to feel old/er. if it doesn't work out for you, i'm sure mom will save the day.

But then again I don't really feel old and also don't really feel like marriage is what I should be doing. I'd rather adopt a cambodian orphan or dedicate my life to a cause instead of settling for somebody I have not really had any history with per se.

At the same time, a lot of arranged marriages work and you can meet a great person. With all these choices and different lifestyles you have nowdays, going traditional may just be the solution. On the other hand, I always saw myself as marrying somebody who isn't necessarily from my own ethnic background simply because variety is the spice of life and sadly you can't find that on the arranged marriage market lol

[thebrownreason]

I hate to say this but; paki?
:rofl:


:|

[s11nyk]

most likely if he is interested...he will ask for my number...and if I can talk to him over the phone...and I can ask questions to my heart's content - weather he is telling the truth of course is another matter.

Lie detector....will that go down well?

well dont speak to much on the phone until you know hes the right one.

Dont agree anything after the 1st meeting, you need to step back take everything in and then decide....dont allow anyone to pressurise you.

Get his number (only if he is willing) and then arrange a more private meet.

[-Ziad-]

:rofl:


:|Man we seriously got to put a halt on this inbreeding shit :no:

[Geezer]

It's all about the sex hey!

But I'm a mary!

[thebrownreason]

But then again I don't really feel old and also don't really feel like marriage is what I should be doing. I'd rather adopt a cambodian orphan or dedicate my life to a cause instead of settling for somebody I have not really had any history with per se.

At the same time, a lot of arranged marriages work and you can meet a great person. With all these choices and different lifestyles you have nowdays, going traditional may just be the solution. On the other hand, I always saw myself as marrying somebody who isn't necessarily from my own ethnic background simply because variety is the spice of life and sadly you can't find that on the arranged marriage market lol

lol it's not even that, it's whether or not your parents will accept her.

[Clueless_uk]

well you dont ask him directly, you go via the elders

If it goes further - I'll have to hire someone to do the dirty work - as in find out if he is crazy

[s11nyk]

Like when you are in school, you fancy that one boy/girl/tranny you send letters across to people to pass on to him/her/tranny in this situation you send it via elders who will read it first and then pass it on so no dodgy things written!
so how comes you never replied to my note...

[s11nyk]

You got to act dumb around the guys.
will it work this time.

[thebrownreason]

Man we seriously got to put a halt on this inbreeding shit :no:

i bugged the fuck out when my dad told me how his younger sister is married to her first cousin. actually this came up at a dinner with the fam, my sisters bugged the fuck out too.

gross.

[Clueless_uk]

I hate to say this but; paki?

Nope, bengali

[Z4K5T4R]

so how comes you never replied to my note...I did, but the last i saw of my note response was in this fat boys hand who looked like was going to put some ketchup and goffle the note up! Fat kids :no: pssht.

[Dream_GirL]

No seriously...I know 2 guys who were emotionally blackmailed into marrying their cousins back home.
i am being serious too.. so r u being blackmailed as well orr??

[Clueless_uk]

Any guy whos going to lie would lie regardless of it being an arranged marriage or NOT... But in most cases the guys are honest when it comes to arranged marriage...

you think?

gosh...I don't think I would be honest.

[s11nyk]

lol, that's awesome.


i'm so not ready to be a father. how old were you when you got married?
i was 28 when i got married....so a good age for a male i think

[Clueless_uk]

i am being serious too.. so r u being blackmailed as well orr??

No...not blackmailed - just desi pressure.

If it works it works....if it doesn't....I'll spend the rest of my life doing what I want to do.

[Geezer]

lol it's not even that, it's whether or not your parents will accept her.

Man my parents are fine with whatever as long as I'm happy. My dad spoke to after my 2nd tamil gf in a row and goes 'you dont have to marry a tamil girl just because you feel like its the right thing to do' but I guess he didnt know it's coincidence. Like my friends arent helping much either lol whenever they try to set me up it's always like 'oh I know this girl, she would be perfect for you, she's sri lankan' :lol: a couple of weeks ago I went to a punjabi wedding and saw some really nice looking girls and I goes to my mate that she should put some feelers out and she thought I was joking :neutral:

[thebrownreason]

you think?

gosh...I don't think I would be honest.


insecure much?


just kidding, don't hate me.

[s11nyk]

If it goes further - I'll have to hire someone to do the dirty work - as in find out if he is crazy
no thats your job as a wife....lol

[Clueless_uk]

But I'm a mary!

I could believe that actually.

[thebrownreason]

Man my parents are fine with whatever as long as I'm happy. My dad spoke to after my 2nd tamil gf in a row and goes 'you dont have to marry a tamil girl just because you feel like its the right thing to do' but I guess he didnt know it's coincidence. Like my friends arent helping much either lol whenever they try to set me up it's always like 'oh I know this girl, she would be perfect for you, she's sri lankan' :lol: a couple of weeks ago I went to a punjabi wedding and saw some really nice looking girls and I goes to my mate that she should put some feelers out and she thought I was joking :neutral:


lol, ownt. :lol:

[Clueless_uk]

insecure much?


just kidding, don't hate me.

the only person I am secure about, is myself son.

[thebrownreason]

i was 28 when i got married....so a good age for a male i think

perfect age, no question. i'm actually going for 28-31

[x baby bably x]

Oh best of luck. Let us know what happens.

Is he a looker? :eyebrow:

[s11nyk]

I did, but the last i saw of my note response was in this fat boys hand who looked like was going to put some ketchup and goffle the note up! Fat kids :no: pssht.
thats what happens if you use geezer as your mule...

[candle23]

No...not blackmailed - just desi pressure.

If it works it works....if it doesn't....I'll spend the rest of my life doing what I want to do.

how old are you

[CorruptNightfall]

you think?

gosh...I don't think I would be honest.

Well honest to an extent...

I HIGHLY doubt they would admit if they dated etc in the past :neutral:

Those are a big no no...

[Geezer]

I could believe that actually.

Good! :lol:


lol, ownt. :lol:

:lol: I guess because I never really gave it much thought. When friends try to introduce me to someone I generally just decline, too much hassle and pressure even.

[-Ziad-]

how old are you:hug:.

[s11nyk]

perfect age, no question. i'm actually going for 28-31
well i said to my parents that if i am not serious about anyone and marrige by 27 then they can looked...so fucked around from 21 to 27 and then said ok...you win

[Clueless_uk]

no thats your job as a wife....lol

*sigh

You know, I really have lost faith in men....I think I am much better off without a man.

[thebrownreason]

Good! :lol:




:lol: I guess because I never really gave it much thought. When friends try to introduce me to someone I generally just decline, too much hassle and pressure even.

agreed. i know the feeling you're talking about, it feels too forced. i like the spontaneousness of meeting someone new.

[x baby bably x]

well first things 1st

1 - ask if its what he wants
2 - How much does he earn
3 - does heplan to live with his parents ot into his own house
4 - can you stay at home while he earns for the both of you

those were some of the questions thrown at me at my various meets...OMG. I would not have the guts to ask Q 2 or 4.

What.the.hell...

=\

[Geezer]

agreed. i know the feeling you're talking about, it feels too forced. i like the spontaneousness of meeting someone new.

Exactly, the thrill of the chase.

[Clueless_uk]

Oh best of luck. Let us know what happens.

Is he a looker? :eyebrow:

Yes.....but I don't just want eye candy.

[thebrownreason]

Yes.....but I don't just want eye candy.

are you eye candy?

[Geezer]

Yes.....but I don't just want eye candy.

What are the qualities you look for in a husband?

[candle23]

:hug:.

:wave:

[Clueless_uk]

will it work this time.

I can't be bothered pretending I don't know what men are anymore.

The last time I was involved in such a meeting, and me and the guy talked...I felt he was a bit intimidated by my open-mindedness...he also said he thought I was too modern...you know why? Because I said I don't have an issue with someone's sexual past as long as they were not sleeping around! He probably read that as "I have been around" or something...idiot.

[s11nyk]

*sigh

You know, I really have lost faith in men....I think I am much better off without a man.
things will be ok....just be open mindind about the whole thing

[x baby bably x]

Yes.....but I don't just want eye candy.Oh, ok fair enough.

I`m not looking forward to when it happens to me.

[Clueless_uk]

are you eye candy?

To be honest...I don't think so....therefore I could hardly expect a hunk...and honestly speaking...I don't, I am much more attracted to smart, humble and funny men anyway.

[thebrownreason]

To be honest...I don't think so....therefore I could hardly expect a hunk...and honestly speaking...I don't, I am much more attracted to smart, humble and funny men anyway.

you were supposed to say yes, that way i could ask you to post pics one last time before getting married.


gay

[Geezer]

I can't be bothered pretending I don't know what men are anymore.

The last time I was involved in such a meeting, and me and the guy talked...I felt he was a bit intimidated by my open-mindedness...he also said he thought I was too modern...you know why? Because I said I don't have an issue with someone's sexual past as long as they were not sleeping around! He probably read that as "I have been around" or something...idiot.

Majority of guys are hypocrites. Screw around all they want and then want a good, clean and wholesome wife. I wouldn't even ask that or mention that, just take comfort in knowing that everyone has a past and from this point on you start a clean slate.

[s11nyk]

OMG. I would not have the guts to ask Q 2 or 4.

What.the.hell...

=\
just think how i felt sitting there having them thrown at me.

[-Ziad-]

:wave:can i re-reply to that pm or youll be annoyed?

[s11nyk]

Yes.....but I don't just want eye candy.
At least you know what yor looking for, many dont.

[Clueless_uk]

What are the qualities you look for in a husband?

confident
lives by good morals and principles
knows what he wants
not just ambitious..but actually is in a good position
always acts with integrity and is quite altruistic.

[Geezer]

confident
lives by good morals and principles
knows what he wants
not just ambitious..but actually is in a good position
always acts with integrity and is quite altruistic.

Will Smith?!

[Lie Detector]

Will Smith?!

He's my third cousin.

[Clueless_uk]

Oh, ok fair enough.

I`m not looking forward to when it happens to me.

I don't need a good looking guy to sit there and look pretty for me.

I can do that job nicely...but he can pay for the plastic surgery and make-up.

[s11nyk]

confident
lives by good morals and principles
knows what he wants
not just ambitious..but actually is in a good position
always acts with integrity and is quite altruistic.

well thats what you should look for then, if you dont see that in him, that that should give you a good indication that he is not the one

[Clueless_uk]

how old are you

Quite old for a desi female.

[Geezer]

He's my third cousin.

Brilliant, you need to hook Clueless up with the fella!

[Dream_GirL]

No...not blackmailed - just desi pressure.

If it works it works....if it doesn't....I'll spend the rest of my life doing what I want to do.
fair enuff..

[x baby bably x]

just think how i felt sitting there having them thrown at me.LOL I saw your reply. **thumbs up**

Eeek...I didn`t know SO much went into these sorta things.

Can I ask a question on background checks? What do they do? How do they do it? Like google/facebook search?

=\

[Clueless_uk]

you were supposed to say yes, that way i could ask you to post pics one last time before getting married.


gay

I don't post pics...because I know what I look like.

[x baby bably x]

Quite old for a desi female.Aren`t you like 22/23?

[Geezer]

well thats what you should look for then, if you dont see that in him, that that should give you a good indication that he is not the one

But it's all first impressions though. When people sell themselves, they mention characteristics that they wish they had and not necessarily have. I don't know how I'd do in that situation, too critical.

[Clueless_uk]

Will Smith?!

Will Smith fits into all my categories?

*sigh, well there goes my man then...I might as well kill myself now.

[thebrownreason]

I don't post pics...because I know what I look like.

thats gay. you're no fun

[Geezer]

Will Smith fits into all my categories?

*sigh, well there goes my man then...I might as well kill myself now.

What's wrong with Will Smith? He's handsome, ambitious, wealthy, good morals, faithful and great with kids. Is it cos he's tall??

:lol:

[candle23]

Quite old for a desi female.

I think I'm quite young and still being pressured. I'm not even done with school yet. Is there any way out of this mess, other than suicide. :-|

[s11nyk]

LOL I saw your reply. **thumbs up**

Eeek...I didn`t know SO much went into these sorta things.

Can I ask a question on background checks? What do they do? How do they do it? Like google/facebook search?

=\
1st thing they go on forums, then Facebook & Myspace etec.

Or just ask your uncle or family member that is doing the inroduction

[Clueless_uk]

well thats what you should look for then, if you dont see that in him, that that should give you a good indication that he is not the one

I always do...and look where is has got me! Nowhere.

[thebrownreason]

I think I'm quite young and still being pressured. I'm not even done with school yet. Is there any way out of this mess, other than suicide. :-|

yeah, grow a pair and tell your parents to chill out. marriage isn't the most important thing in life.


i don't understand why people get married in their low 20s. don't they want to finish their education and get happily situated in life, with a decent-well paying job?

[Clueless_uk]

I think I'm quite young and still being pressured. I'm not even done with school yet. Is there any way out of this mess, other than suicide. :-|

Oh don't die - just keep studying and getting good grades...then they will see some hope...once you get a great paid job...they will never want to get rid of you - like my dad doesn't want rid of me now.

[-Ziad-]

I think I'm quite young and still being pressured. I'm not even done with school yet. Is there any way out of this mess, other than suicide. :-|You're 41 but look 17 :yes:

[Clueless_uk]

What's wrong with Will Smith? He's handsome, ambitious, wealthy, good morals, faithful and great with kids. Is it cos he's tall??

:lol:

I meant - he's gone, married, gone.

I could probably have a fling with Will Smith.

[mp3]

yeah, grow a pair and tell your parents to chill out. marriage isn't the most important thing in life.


i don't understand why people get married in their low 20s. don't they want to finish their education and get happily situated in life, with a decent-well paying job?

The reasons are because it keeps many on the straight and narrow. Many parents dont want there kids dating and having pre-marital sex, so its best to get married early.

[Geezer]

I meant - he's gone, married, gone.

I could probably have a fling with Will Smith.

Well if you made him convert, he could have 4 wives lol

[s11nyk]

But it's all first impressions though. When people sell themselves, they mention characteristics that they wish they had and not necessarily have. I don't know how I'd do in that situation, too critical.
just do what your doing in your Avatar, how could they not fall for it.

[Clueless_uk]

thats gay. you're no fun

Dude...I am going to be scrutinised and interrogated next week...I want to keep my self-perception well in tact till then at least.

[s11nyk]

I always do...and look where is has got me! Nowhere.
Then blind faith is where you have to put your trust in

[Geezer]

just do what your doing in your Avatar, how could they not fall for it.

Thanks, you make me feel good about myself today :hug:

[thebrownreason]

The reasons are because it keeps many on the straight and narrow. Many parents dont want there kids dating and having pre-marital sex, so its best to get married early.

that's the dumbest thing i ever heard. people can easily stay away from sex, doesn't matter what race or ethnicity you are. and dating, are you serious? your parents dont let you go out to get dinner with another girl? ain't nothin wrong with casual dating.

[Clueless_uk]

Well if you made him convert, he could have 4 wives lol

Nawwww....I don't like sharing. Not even my bed.

[s11nyk]

Thanks, you make me feel good about myself today :hug:
that and free beer....what else could a man want.

[mp3]

Dude...I am going to be scrutinised and interrogated next week...I want to keep my self-perception well in tact till then at least.


i dont think it will be that bad. They will probably ask you a few general questions at first. If you two like eachother, then probably go into more detail from there. Thats how it normally works

[thebrownreason]

Dude...I am going to be scrutinised and interrogated next week...I want to keep my self-perception well in tact till then at least.

by whom, the grooms side? if they are gonna scrutinize you and be rude about it, are you seriously going to be nice and accept the "rishta" ?

[Geezer]

Nawwww....I don't like sharing. Not even my bed.

If you met the perfect guy, he ticks all your boxes etc but the only thing he is a bit weird about is sharing a bed, in fact he'd want his own room in the house. Would you go for it?

[americanmohit]

arrange marriage :ugh:

[Clueless_uk]

The reasons are because it keeps many on the straight and narrow. Many parents dont want there kids dating and having pre-marital sex, so its best to get married early.

I think that is very wrong. You should only approach your kids for marriage when they are good and ready.

I am ready - for the right man.

[mp3]

that's the dumbest thing i ever heard. people can easily stay away from sex, doesn't matter what race or ethnicity you are. and dating, are you serious? your parents dont let you go out to get dinner with another girl? ain't nothin wrong with casual dating.

They can but there are limits. My parents dont mind what I do. I'm saying for the girls. My parents did prefer me to find someone myself but say the arrange marriage is a option. I'm not into dating girl after girl until I find the one I want. But it does seem as there is little option left. As arranged marriages are not like they use to be

[Clueless_uk]

If you met the perfect guy, he ticks all your boxes etc but the only thing he is a bit weird about is sharing a bed, in fact he'd want his own room in the house. Would you go for it?

That would be like a dream come true.

We could have our own sleeping rooms...and one room to do our business in.

Great.

[thebrownreason]

arrange marriage :ugh:

***** please, who you tryna kid. we all know you gon get married off to some trick from mumbai or w/e that place is called.

[mp3]

I think that is very wrong. You should only approach your kids for marriage when they are good and ready.

I am ready - for the right man.

i think that is what most do. But I think by mid twenties most are ready.

[thebrownreason]

They can but there are limits. My parents dont mind what I do. I'm saying for the girls. My parents did prefer me to find someone myself but say the arrange marriage is a option. I'm not into dating girl after girl until I find the one I want. But it does seem as there is little option left. As arranged marriages are not like they use to be

my parents knew my sister was 'talking' to this dood from work for a couple of years. and we're muslim. that's considered casual dating, i'm pretty sure my parents put 2 and 2 together that they were going out for dinner and nightlife.

so yeah, not all parents care, only the old-fashioned ones.

[s11nyk]

Dude...I am going to be scrutinised and interrogated next week...I want to keep my self-perception well in tact till then at least.


More than likely they will just sit there and observe your mannerism, all the mom wants a a good looking bride for her son, kinda like a trophy wife...where as he will be asking the questions on a 1-2-1 basis...nothing in depth, just something to scrath the surface.

I was in and out within 20 minutes with my so called interview....you dont want to spend to much time alone as it give the impression all is well.

Make it brioef and then you decide on where you take it from there

[americanmohit]

***** please, who you tryna kid. we all know you gon get married off to some trick from mumbai or w/e that place is called.
***** ** **** *** ...arrange marriage is for those loser who can't find a girls for themeselves :o

[Clueless_uk]

More than likely they will just sit there and observe your mannerism, all the mom wants a a good looking bride for her son, kinda like a trophy wife...where as he will be asking the questions on a 1-2-1 basis...nothing in depth, just something to scrath the surface.

I was in and out within 20 minutes with my so called interview....you dont want to spend to much time alone as it give the impression all is well.

Make it brioef and then you decide on where you take it from there

You are like an expert on this!

But thanks for the tips :)

[Geezer]

***** ** **** *** ...arrange marriage is for those loser who can't find a girls for themeselves :o

Well good luck with that anyway :lol:

[s11nyk]

You are like an expert on this!

But thanks for the tips :)
dear, i had 6 families come to see me...or me going to see them, you can only but learn as you go along.

[¤ * HoneY * ¤]

i haaaaaaaate these things.. my mom doesnt want arranged marriage like dis cos she says its like showing sheeps and cows to sell them... like "let me see how you sit, how you sing, how you dance, how you cook, nose 's too big, mouth shud be smaller, do you pray? do you .... do you...." etc..and sometimes they eat drink etc, then dont even reply...and go to some other girl's house.. i hate this...

[s11nyk]

i haaaaaaaate these things.. my mom doesnt want arranged marriage like dis cos she says its like showing sheeps and cows to sell them... like "let me see how you sit, how you sing, how you dance, how you cook, nose 's too big, mouth shud be smaller, do you pray? do you .... do you...." etc..and sometimes they eat drink etc, then dont even reply...and go to some other girl's house.. i hate this...
so do you do any of the above.

[¤ * HoneY * ¤]

lol i wont show them ow i sit walk smile laugh etc lol! i dont cook but will learn lol

[s11nyk]

lol i wont show them ow i sit walk smile laugh etc lol! i dont cook but will learn lol
the trophy wife so to speak.

[¤ * HoneY * ¤]

the trophy wife so to speak.
ha ha ha... lol no seriously i want a perfect marriage.. like romantic proposal in front ov the eifel tower lol i dont know why but i love this place! hmmm mama neva cooked before gettin married, now ppl say she's the best lol so i hope i'll be a gud cook too... hmm but seriously i dot like these customs...

[desi_uk]

Well good luck with that anyway :lol:
how shall i put this











































































ha ha

[SarcasmicBengali]

if you're being ... coerced into doing it... i'd just fuck with 'em the entire time they're there.

act nice and polite and everything, but just screw w 'em...
hit on the dad, then act like you didn't know he wasn't the one for u...

then turn to the son abruptly and be all "so... i'm very tez... you like? :eyebrow: "


so on and so forth... get creative.... :p