PDA

View Full Version : My Response to Pre-marital sex


Echelon
January 29th, 2008, 05:37 PM
Re: http://forums.ratedesi.com/showthread.php?t=250168&highlight=premarital

Most people will read the above thread and brush it off as a silly set of fear mongering arguments, which for the most part is a valid reason.

1)Advantage for a Man While the Woman Loses Out in Double Standards
This is purely subjective and based on peoples view on sexuality as a whole. The term slut is going to be relative. Where I live, and where pre-marital sex is something common, sluts and whores aren't really determined by whether someone has had sex or not, it's more to do with the conditions of how everything took place and her general behavior. There is also an emerging genre of women known as man eaters who successfully even after sex come out as the "victors" in this emotional game.

2) Aping the Western Culture
The funny thing about this is that sexual revolutions in the West were somewhat influenced by a more free and sexually enlightened India. You can read about this in various historical references detailing ancient India to the Kamasutra. Prior to Kamasutra, there have been historical texts to suggest that ancient India was sexually tolerant as many modern euro and east asian countries (wikipedia). India experienced a sexual devolution due to religious revolution and victorian influences of the West, whilst the west experienced a sexual revolution through India's sexual ideology.

3) Disadvantage of the sexual revolution and rally for no premarital sex in the U.S. -- this title is wrong, as specified in my above response.
This girl seriously has fundamental views on both sexuality and pornography. In a free society, there are going to be advantages and disadvantages. Commercialisation and marketing of sex is inevitable. There are things however to regulate and moderate the content so that people without the capacity to decide i.e. minors aren't able to view unsuitable content.
Promiscuity amongst men and having sex with different females in polygamous relationship isn't something thats heavily influenced by modern culture. The nature argument here is that Males have a natural desire to become the alpha male and comes in only to get what he wants. The bastardisation of males is not attributed to an open sexual society, but more to do with instinct.

4) Religion and Religiosity
Religion and sexuality is a perplexing argument. The girl replied that sexuality lacked spirituality and religion -- this is untrue, especially for desis, as most eastern religious faiths have tantric traditions with sexual rites.

5) Peer Pressure
The greatest problem in her argument here is that she too is affected by pressure of conformity -- i.e. become pious and opt for an arranged marriage. She is affected more by a collective idea rather than personal choice too, much more than someone living in a sexually free society and acting out on a "hormonal" need rather than a cultural need. Everything she has stated in this argument is applicable to a marriage strict society.

6) Reel v Real
Any form of media or communication can portray an ideology whether it be sex or marriage to be the most "glamorous" and "correct" way for someone to live their life. For her it might be general cultural/familial expectations voiced by her parents and friends, for others it might be an onscreen drama. People are always going to be affected by the "general consensus". She also goes on to how experience differs etc, but she fails to point out that sex in itself is a very natural thing with both physical and emotional elements. The man-made protocols such as arranged marriage courting only attempt to regulate how people should feel. She speaks in a very idealistic manner in how "marriage" and "sex" works, but she really isn't being realistic. There are always going to be shitty situations in both arranged marriage and pre-marital relationships. It's all a matter of choice and how well people are able to select. Safe-guarding our ability to choose will only hinder our ability to realise what our needs are. Sure we may "burn" our fingers in the process, but thats a part of life and as they say, no pain, no pleasure.

Us humans just need to be smart about shit, wrapping ourselves in protocol like arranged marriage to safegaurd our senses from possible dangers such as emotional hardship, std's or pregnancy etc is a bullshit way of managing our lives.

Every single one of us strives to find some sense of resonance with our dreams. And for most individuals, our dreams aren't dictated by a pre-written script on what is right or wrong, but more so related to who we are as a person.

the big d
January 29th, 2008, 05:41 PM
i didn't read much of the 1st thread. it was kinda pissing me off. sounded like a young kid on a soapbox.

Echelon
January 29th, 2008, 05:43 PM
i didn't read much of the 1st thread. it was kinda pissing me off. sounded like a young kid on a soapbox.

Padawan has much to learn.

kucchnahi
January 29th, 2008, 05:45 PM
Echelon: You did a pretty good job; and I will respond to it all, rest assured. But it will have to wait until after I graduate. Then, you're going to hear my respones. :)

But regardless, I'm impressed. :D

Angel Frm Heaven
January 29th, 2008, 05:45 PM
:neutral: Someone's really been thinking about pre-marital sex....

Echelon
January 29th, 2008, 05:47 PM
The way I see arranged marriage is like this:
"Staying at home for the rest of your life will probably ensure you're going to be free from anything dangerous -- street muggers, cars who are trying to run you over, gangsters etc. But inevitably, you're probably going to go crazy in the process of lacking human interaction and being boxed in 24/7. Your lack of experience and ignorance of all possibilities is going to make you a numb little fig tree".

Echelon
January 29th, 2008, 05:47 PM
Echelon: You did a pretty good job; and I will respond to it all, rest assured. But it will have to wait until after I graduate. Then, you're going to hear my respones. :)

But regardless, I'm impressed. :D

After you graduate?
Do you need a teacher to teach you how to respond to me?

selina_786
January 29th, 2008, 05:53 PM
The way I see arranged marriage is like this:
"Staying at home for the rest of your life will probably ensure you're going to be free from anything dangerous -- street muggers, cars who are trying to run you over, gangsters etc. But inevitably, you're probably going to go crazy in the process of lacking human interaction and being boxed in 24/7. Your lack of experience and ignorance of all possibilities is going to make you a numb little fig tree".
lol, no it is not.

What are you talking about?

kucchnahi
January 29th, 2008, 05:54 PM
After you graduate?
Do you need a teacher to teach you how to respond to me?

Lol. No, dude. I am busy with my senior thesis and classes; I have been wasting enough time on RD without writing an essay; I have actually been trying to avoid writing them wherever I can. :D

Echelon
January 29th, 2008, 05:54 PM
lol, no it is not.

What are you talking about?

You can't decipher analogies. I wasn't talking about females being locked up in their houses. I was talking about how an "arranged system" safe-guards people from the perils of choice and selection and the dangers in probability.

Echelon
January 29th, 2008, 05:57 PM
Lol. No, dude. I am busy with my senior thesis and classes; I have been wasting enough time on RD without writing an essay; I have actually been trying to avoid writing them wherever I can. :D

I am writing on RD because I am losing 500 dollars a day and waiting for fucking paper work to be faxed.

Good luck with your thesis, hopefully I can't debunk it come publication time.

Coconut Club
January 29th, 2008, 05:57 PM
The way I see arranged marriage is like this:
"Staying at home for the rest of your life will probably ensure you're going to be free from anything dangerous -- street muggers, cars who are trying to run you over, gangsters etc. But inevitably, you're probably going to go crazy in the process of lacking human interaction and being boxed in 24/7. Your lack of experience and ignorance of all possibilities is going to make you a numb little fig tree".

An arranged marriage doesn't necessarily mean being boxed in 24/7. And also, it doesn't mean one lacks any sort of experience or hasn't considered other possibilities prior to the marriage.

Echelon
January 29th, 2008, 05:58 PM
To kucchnhai:
gpJ0qOG0X4w

Echelon
January 29th, 2008, 05:59 PM
An arranged marriage doesn't necessarily mean being boxed in 24/7. And also, it doesn't mean one lacks any sort of experience or hasn't considered other possibilities prior to the marriage.
No I wasn't referring to the fact of being "boxed in" whilst in the marriage, its more to do with safe-guarding your perception of choice to a "safe" but "limited" set of candidates.

kucchnahi
January 29th, 2008, 05:59 PM
I am writing on RD because I am losing 500 dollars a day and waiting for fucking paper work to be faxed.

Good luck with your thesis, hopefully I can't debunk it come publication time.

Lol. I am hopeful about the publication of the thesis; but we'll see. I have already faced enough hurdles as it is with the thesis changing directions three times already in the small amount of time. So, I am kind of discouraged, but I am going to try because it is very important to both my committee members and me. (Sighs.)

Sometimes, I don't like life cause it is hard and it sucks when you have to spend it doing things you don't like.

:)

selina_786
January 29th, 2008, 06:01 PM
You can't decipher analogies. I wasn't talking about females being locked up in their houses. I was talking about how an "arranged system" safe-guards people from the perils of choice and selection and the dangers in probability.
hmmm. Okay.

punjabipride04
January 29th, 2008, 06:02 PM
LOL @ that clip.

kucchnahi
January 29th, 2008, 06:04 PM
To kucchnhai:
gpJ0qOG0X4w

I saw the video, though I forwarded a bit.

:confused:

What was the point of the Youtube video? :neutral:

SpicyBrownRapper
January 29th, 2008, 06:05 PM
This Kucchnahi cunt has to be a joke account, ain't no body this fucking naive.

Echelon
January 29th, 2008, 06:07 PM
I saw the video, though I forwarded a bit.

:confused:

What was the point of the Youtube video? :neutral:

Why forward it? Scared of his ass? Geez.

kucchnahi
January 29th, 2008, 06:13 PM
Why forward it? Scared of his ass? Geez.

Lol, no; it was getting boring. But anyway, what was the point of the video cause I really didn't get it. :neutral:

King Ghidra
January 29th, 2008, 06:13 PM
100% agree with every you wrote, anyone who argues that are plan naive

Echelon
January 29th, 2008, 06:15 PM
Lol, no; it was getting boring. But anyway, what was the point of the video cause I really didn't get it. :neutral:

How the fuck can you determine whether something is boring or not within the first minute of it. The clip is very small. How can it "get boring".

I'm confused.

I think you got squeamish after you realised it was a post-sex scene.

ssjasper2003
January 29th, 2008, 06:16 PM
Wtf

kucchnahi
January 29th, 2008, 06:17 PM
How the fuck can you determine whether something is boring or not within the first minute of it. The clip is very small. How can it "get boring".

I'm confused.

I think you got squeamish after you realised it was a post-sex scene.

Dude, I watch Bollywood and Hollywood movies; it would be pretty silly of me to get frazzled by sex scenes, pre-, post-, or during.

Anyway, I watched the part where she has scars apparently and hates him for whatever reason. I think I even know that it is some t.v. show on plastic surgery. But I still don't know what point you were trying to make with it.

QUISQUEYA
January 29th, 2008, 06:22 PM
Us humans just need to be smart about shit, wrapping ourselves in protocol like arranged marriage to safegaurd our senses from possible dangers such as emotional hardship, std's or pregnancy etc is a bullshit way of managing our lives.

Every single one of us strives to find some sense of resonance with our dreams. And for most individuals, our dreams aren't dictated by a pre-written script on what is right or wrong, but more so related to who we are as a person.


I agree.

Where you raised in a non-traditional Desi enviroment?

Echelon
January 29th, 2008, 06:23 PM
Us humans just need to be smart about shit, wrapping ourselves in protocol like arranged marriage to safegaurd our senses from possible dangers such as emotional hardship, std's or pregnancy etc is a bullshit way of managing our lives.

Every single one of us strives to find some sense of resonance with our dreams. And for most individuals, our dreams aren't dictated by a pre-written script on what is right or wrong, but more so related to who we are as a person.


I agree.

Where you raised in a non-traditional Desi enviroment?

Werd! But it seems that people who were sheltered in a Desi environment never understood India's sexual past.

QUISQUEYA
January 29th, 2008, 06:31 PM
I've always had a different mindset concerning pre-marital sex and being a virgin for a woman. Never thought it such a big deal in life.

tuddel
January 29th, 2008, 06:35 PM
nah to premarital sex. :wavey:

King Ghidra
January 29th, 2008, 06:37 PM
nah to premarital sex. :wavey:
why?

banshod
January 30th, 2008, 12:07 AM
RD is like the only place where being a virgin is cherished as the holy grail and a determing factor for marriage, when people pride themselves on thier virginity. In my parts, virginity passed the age of 20 is associated with loser, dysfuntional, and abnormal status.
Nobody actual values it as some virtue, except on RD.