advice needed

[usy]

yo, i've got a situation and need some decent advice, it's goes like this...

my family live in quite a big house, my bro wants to become more independent and get his own house, which leaves my folks and I in this big house. now, my old man who pays all the bills is getting on a bit and can't work much longer. as the current mortgage payments are quite high, the family wants me to out a quite a mortgage at low rate which would be used to pay off the existing mortgage, the old man would continue to pay off the new mortgage in my name. the only concern that i have is that if something were to happen whereby my old man had to stop working then all the responsibilities of financial matters would fall on me, but i don't earn enough to pay off all the bills. i feel that they are potentially playing with my future when a better idea would be to move to a small house considering there is only 3 of us. how can i explain this to my family without it falling on deaf ears, like it has done so already...

[CuteyPie_Nz]

Your olds need to realise that you have a life of your own, I'm not sure how old you are but that gives them no reason for them to lay such big responsiblites on you. There is such a thing as pitching in but it looks like in the end it could get ugly. Tell your parents to look at it as a big picture, lay out the pros and cons and the long term issues. Discuss it with them and let them know about your view also the impact it could have. Paying off Mortgage sucks and you can't be too reliant on parents if their old you also mentioned the possibility of you paying it off. If your pay is not enough, well you know what could happen and I'm sure your family don't want to lose their home in the future. Trust me Financial issues can ruin your life.

Hope that helped :)

[DasJa]

You can try 2 ways - Logically and then emotionally.

Logically, you sit them down, chaa-biskoot...and lay out the numbers.

Emotionally, you tell them you want to get married, make them grandparents, etc. IF still they don't budge...then give them a taste of what ur talking about by NOT pitching in for a month....let them get a bit of the headache that ur goin through. Sometimes you just HAVE to stand up for what's logical...even if it's against ur parents.

[kucchnahi]

You can try 2 ways - Logically and then emotionally.

Logically, you sit them down, chaa-biskoot...and lay out the numbers.

Emotionally, you tell them you want to get married, make them grandparents, etc.

I would recommend that you try to help your parents if you can because I can understand why your parents are probably hesitant or not willing to move out of the current house to a smaller home. In desi culture, having the current home would probably equal emotional attachment, not to mention prestige and societal respectability that is associated with image that they might feel would be lost if they were to move to a smaller home.

That said, if you can't do what they are asking you to do, what DasJa said might prove helpful in terms of his first points about explaining the reality of the situation in logical and emotional terms. Good-luck. Hope the situation works out so that both you and your family is satisfied with the plan of action. :)

[mizz jassi]

You can try 2 ways - Logically and then emotionally.

Logically, you sit them down, chaa-biskoot...and lay out the numbers.

Emotionally, you tell them you want to get married, make them grandparents, etc. IF still they don't budge...then give them a taste of what ur talking about by NOT pitching in for a month....let them get a bit of the headache that ur goin through. Sometimes you just HAVE to stand up for what's logical...even if it's against ur parents.



I agree :yes:

[selina_786]

I would recommend that you try to help your parents if you can because I can understand why your parents are probably hesitant or not willing to move out of the current house to a smaller home. In desi culture, having the current home would probably equal emotional attachment, not to mention prestige and societal respectability that is associated with image that they might feel would be lost if they were to move to a smaller home.

That said, if you can't do what they are asking you to do, what DasJa said might prove helpful in terms of his first points about explaining the reality of the situation in logical and emotional terms. Good-luck. Hope the situation works out so that both you and your family is satisfied with the plan of action. :)
I will go with this one.

[kababking]

^ :werd:

[DasJa]

Thanx zuchhini and punjaban kuri :)

[mizz jassi]

Thanx zuchhini and punjaban kuri :)


wait they didnt post...

[DasJa]

wait they didnt post...
Zuchhini = kuchhnahi

Punjaban kuri = miz_jassi :rolleyes:

[Cunard]

help them out

worse comes to worse...you can always keep the mortgage, but sell the house...pay the mortgage off and downgrade to somthing smaller

[-PaKiBaBe-]

well it really kind of depends on where U are financially at this point. if ur able to , i'd go with kuchnahi and help out parents. if u thnk it will be a big struggle for u in the near future, then i'd go wid dasja

[mizz jassi]

Zuchhini = kuchhnahi

Punjaban kuri = miz_jassi :rolleyes:



lol sorry i can be slow at times

[Amani786]

yo, i've got a situation and need some decent advice, it's goes like this...

my family live in quite a big house, my bro wants to become more independent and get his own house, which leaves my folks and I in this big house. now, my old man who pays all the bills is getting on a bit and can't work much longer. as the current mortgage payments are quite high, the family wants me to out a quite a mortgage at low rate which would be used to pay off the existing mortgage, the old man would continue to pay off the new mortgage in my name. the only concern that i have is that if something were to happen whereby my old man had to stop working then all the responsibilities of financial matters would fall on me, but i don't earn enough to pay off all the bills. i feel that they are potentially playing with my future when a better idea would be to move to a small house considering there is only 3 of us. how can i explain this to my family without it falling on deaf ears, like it has done so already...

Firstly what im saying would depend on your age but do you know how hard it is to get on the UK property Ladder on your own - and heres you with a huge asset and you want to downgrade? i could understand downgrading if you would use half of the money to buy a smaller place and use the remainder to invest in business - but all you're worried about is if something happened to your dad who will pay the bills??

If you're not earning enough then maybe you should because that is your fathers acheivement and asking him to sell it just because of what could happen in the future is just selfish - you should cross that path when you get to it - its not hard to sell properties in the UK especially when you are downgrading to somewhere cheaper.

The problem with our generation in the UK is we get all arsy when asked to put something back into the very place that was a roof over our heads. Yeah parents are supposed to do all that but you know in Gora families soon as they hit 16-18 they have to pay rent to their parents, bills etc. we get everything free so when they ask us to contribute it becomes a "they're playing with my future" crap!! The way i see it if you live on your own you would have to do it all anyway so why is it an issue when doing for your parents?

[usy]

Firstly what im saying would depend on your age but do you know how hard it is to get on the UK property Ladder on your own - and heres you with a huge asset and you want to downgrade? i could understand downgrading if you would use half of the money to buy a smaller place and use the remainder to invest in business - but all you're worried about is if something happened to your dad who will pay the bills??

If you're not earning enough then maybe you should because that is your fathers acheivement and asking him to sell it just because of what could happen in the future is just selfish - you should cross that path when you get to it - its not hard to sell properties in the UK especially when you are downgrading to somewhere cheaper.

The problem with our generation in the UK is we get all arsy when asked to put something back into the very place that was a roof over our heads. Yeah parents are supposed to do all that but you know in Gora families soon as they hit 16-18 they have to pay rent to their parents, bills etc. we get everything free so when they ask us to contribute it becomes a "they're playing with my future" crap!! The way i see it if you live on your own you would have to do it all anyway so why is it an issue when doing for your parents?


"If you're not earning enough then maybe you should..."?? because i'm not earning enough, maybe i should find a career that does? how about drug dealing? pimping?
"its not hard to sell properties in the UK especially when you are downgrading to somewhere cheaper" it is hard to sell a 400k house in manchester when the average salary for manchester is less than 25k...

[jumpn jza]

Move to a smaller home...trust me, it's much more cosy and you three will be closer...plus it saves money.

[RajahTheKing]

yo, i've got a situation and need some decent advice, it's goes like this...

my family live in quite a big house, my bro wants to become more independent and get his own house, which leaves my folks and I in this big house. now, my old man who pays all the bills is getting on a bit and can't work much longer. as the current mortgage payments are quite high, the family wants me to out a quite a mortgage at low rate which would be used to pay off the existing mortgage, the old man would continue to pay off the new mortgage in my name. the only concern that i have is that if something were to happen whereby my old man had to stop working then all the responsibilities of financial matters would fall on me, but i don't earn enough to pay off all the bills. i feel that they are potentially playing with my future when a better idea would be to move to a small house considering there is only 3 of us. how can i explain this to my family without it falling on deaf ears, like it has done so already...

Be optimistic!!! And what you are getting worried of; wouldnt your folks have already done some worring over the matter?

At times listening to the elders seems to be easier cause its their vision you just implement it.

[di vinci]

yo, i've got a situation and need some decent advice, it's goes like this...

my family live in quite a big house, my bro wants to become more independent and get his own house, which leaves my folks and I in this big house. now, my old man who pays all the bills is getting on a bit and can't work much longer. as the current mortgage payments are quite high, the family wants me to out a quite a mortgage at low rate which would be used to pay off the existing mortgage, the old man would continue to pay off the new mortgage in my name. the only concern that i have is that if something were to happen whereby my old man had to stop working then all the responsibilities of financial matters would fall on me, but i don't earn enough to pay off all the bills. i feel that they are potentially playing with my future when a better idea would be to move to a small house considering there is only 3 of us. how can i explain this to my family without it falling on deaf ears, like it has done so already...
dude simple maths

the house will legally become yours and ur brother will never have a say in the matter. so ur buying a house at a knock dwn price. if i was u tajke the gamble

[di vinci]

Firstly what im saying would depend on your age but do you know how hard it is to get on the UK property Ladder on your own - and heres you with a huge asset and you want to downgrade? i could understand downgrading if you would use half of the money to buy a smaller place and use the remainder to invest in business - but all you're worried about is if something happened to your dad who will pay the bills??

If you're not earning enough then maybe you should because that is your fathers acheivement and asking him to sell it just because of what could happen in the future is just selfish - you should cross that path when you get to it - its not hard to sell properties in the UK especially when you are downgrading to somewhere cheaper.

The problem with our generation in the UK is we get all arsy when asked to put something back into the very place that was a roof over our heads. Yeah parents are supposed to do all that but you know in Gora families soon as they hit 16-18 they have to pay rent to their parents, bills etc. we get everything free so when they ask us to contribute it becomes a "they're playing with my future" crap!! The way i see it if you live on your own you would have to do it all anyway so why is it an issue when doing for your parents?
:werd:

[hellayah]

keep the big house. it will be worth it in the long run i am sure u will figure out a way if anything happens

[datbone]

listen mate....u feeling all hot down the collar....now. as soon as ure old man is getting old u feeling the pressure...it was all good when all the bills were payed by ure old man...all those years...and now u bottling it up...i say be a real man and support ure family...if ure old man passes away..u will have to look after ure family mate...lifes tough...its not a playground...where u do whatever u want like chatting gyal yp and other shit...life begins when pressure starts.. and can u handle it...

[Amani786]

"If you're not earning enough then maybe you should..."?? because i'm not earning enough, maybe i should find a career that does? how about drug dealing? pimping?

right so in your silly world the only way to earn decent moeny is to be a drug dealer/pimp grow the fcuk up!! use your head and get a bloody education, if you dont put hard work in you wont get anything in life thats worth it stop being lazy and looking for an easy ride.

"its not hard to sell properties in the UK especially when you are downgrading to somewhere cheaper" it is hard to sell a 400k house in manchester when the average salary for manchester is less than 25k...

really well thats the 1st ive heard where you have a 400K house and cant sell (btw that price house usually is in a decent area) unless off course this house is in Moss side then i can understand why it would be slightly harder to sell??

[usy]

right so in your silly world the only way to earn decent moeny is to be a drug dealer/pimp grow the fcuk up!! use your head and get a bloody education, if you dont put hard work in you wont get anything in life thats worth it stop being lazy and looking for an easy ride.



really well thats the 1st ive heard where you have a 400K house and cant sell (btw that price house usually is in a decent area) unless off course this house is in Moss side then i can understand why it would be slightly harder to sell??

in ur earlier post, you said that if i ain't earning enough money, then maybe i should... how do u purpose i do this, as i'm sure there will be lots of people interested in this 'how to make more money' advice that your about to give us...BTW, this is my 1st yr out of uni, so don't expect me to be earning 40k+ per annum...

[HeAvYmAcHiNeGuN]

You can try 2 ways - Logically and then emotionally.

Logically, you sit them down, chaa-biskoot...and lay out the numbers.

Emotionally, you tell them you want to get married, make them grandparents, etc. IF still they don't budge...then give them a taste of what ur talking about by NOT pitching in for a month....let them get a bit of the headache that ur goin through. Sometimes you just HAVE to stand up for what's logical...even if it's against ur parents.

dasjaaaaaa :cheers:

[Amani786]

in ur earlier post, you said that if i ain't earning enough money, then maybe i should... how do u purpose i do this, as i'm sure there will be lots of people interested in this 'how to make more money' advice that your about to give us...BTW, this is my 1st yr out of uni, so don't expect me to be earning 40k+ per annum...

listen if my 20 year old cousin can do it then any one can do it!! he left uni midway to sell cars (legally) and he is earning enough to be taxed 40%!! the likkle sh*t wont tell anyone exactly how much he is earning but it must be over 35K.

A friend who i have known went to uni got an education and worked as a IT Technician 9-5 mon-fri £25K but to get extra cash in pocket he started doing a plastering course which he learnt within a week, and on the weekends earned £500+. He got so much work coming in he packed the other one in to focus on the plastering one as a full on business.

at first his parents were against it as he spent all that time studying and they wanted people to look at him in a suit but when the money started rolling in and he employed some freshies to do the manual labour their comments became more positive.

the best form of income is your own business - as the more effort you put into something the more you will personally get out - whereas working for someone else will get you the occasional promotion and yearly bonus.

i dont think you made this thread for job advise, and all my original comments were basically to say that your parents aren't a burden, so dont see them in that way. if things got so bad and you still couldnt sell up your house put it on rent which could pay the mortgage and you could move to a smaller place - there are always ways out but dont look for a storm that isnt even on the horizon.

[supremed]

way to shirk on ur responsibilities...both you and your bro ..kudos...kudos