Wtf Rishtey?!?!?

[gorjuzkuri]

So, people tell me if a family came with a proposal...and you wanted to compleletly reject the idiots...how would you do that?

Keeping in mind they are a good family, good guy, and everythings set. :(

[reaz]

"no chemistry"

[aww_skeet_skeet]

tell em youre a lesbian... or actually become one

[gorjuzkuri]

"no chemistry"
erm...how do you know that you dont have chemistry.
You are dealing with desi parents here...
CMON CHOP CHOP KIDS...I DONT HAVE ALL DAY TO FIGURE out an EXCUSE!

[gorjuzkuri]

tell em youre a lesbian... or actually become one
see, that would technically be a little difficult considering i still wanna live wiht my parents. :p

[la_bele_dame]

tell them u need to focus on ur studies or career....and that ur not mentally prepared to be tied down with someone

that works for me

[Riddemz]

you are not ready to marry yet
you want to complete a certain level of your studies first etc.
tell them to come back in 5 years

[yeahwhat]

do what i do... Tell your parents, say "mom dad im not ready for marriage i still have school to finish before i think about it, I'm just way too young" and your parents can pass on the message .... mine did :)

[reaz]

erm...how do you know that you dont have chemistry.
You are dealing with desi parents here...
CMON CHOP CHOP KIDS...I DONT HAVE ALL DAY TO FIGURE out an EXCUSE!

"i see him and i feel sick"

[TheDude]

do what i do... Tell your parents, say "mom dad im not ready for marriage i still have school to finish before i think about it, I'm just way too young" and your parents can pass on the message .... mine did :)

and then you find your one true love :Oops:

[yeahwhat]

and then you find your one true love :Oops:

I'm still looking :p

[gorjuzkuri]

tell them u need to focus on ur studies or career....and that ur not mentally prepared to be tied down with someone

that works for me
studies is a problem lol
because, i wanted to do med and i could postpone it all...but, now that im getting into journalism and what not or i am trying to...they think its bullshit field. And, i should get married.
And, they also said i dont have to get married so soon i just have to say yes!

So yea,...help!

[gorjuzkuri]

"i see him and i feel sick"
im thinking about the whole...

HIS BABYS MAMMA CALLED ME...

[gorjuzkuri]

do what i do... Tell your parents, say "mom dad im not ready for marriage i still have school to finish before i think about it, I'm just way too young" and your parents can pass on the message .... mine did :)
school wont work...cause they say they can wait...as long as i say yes to him.

[gorjuzkuri]

you are not ready to marry yet
you want to complete a certain level of your studies first etc.
tell them to come back in 5 years
refer to the replies i sent above...i am deeply depressed...gimme more excuses! pleaseeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee :(

[la_bele_dame]

studies is a problem lol
because, i wanted to do med and i could postpone it all...but, now that im getting into journalism and what not or i am trying to...they think its bullshit field. And, i should get married.
And, they also said i dont have to get married so soon i just have to say yes!

So yea,...help!
tell them u need a whole nite to think about it... maybe he can sleep over - this way u can practice being married and see how it works out

[w1ld]

school wont work...cause they say they can wait...as long as i say yes to him.

why you want to say no?

[TheDude]

I'm still looking :p

thats not what you said last night :shame:

[FlyDesiGrl]

You could just atleast meet the guy, even though you aren't interested in him. That way you will please your parents by meeting him, the other family will be pleased that both the kids met...and in the end just say there was no chemistry. Because you can't use school as an excuse...and it doesn't look like you have any other choice.

[Riddemz]

you want somebody who is interested in the same field
because journalism often time requires somebody with the same profession to have similarly aligned schedules?

[yeahwhat]

school wont work...cause they say they can wait...as long as i say yes to him.

You should not have to deal with anyone directly your parents should be the ones doing the talking so reason with your parents... Some months back i had a family friend call me saying i want you to meet my nephew and see how you like him blah blah ... i just said right now im too young but I'll talk to my parents and they will talk to you about it ... so i called my mom and told her to fix it ... I was like I'm too young, i cant take care of myself forget getting married ... say many things can change from now till when your school is done and you can't be bothered by outside factors

[la_bele_dame]

You could just atleast meet the guy, even though you aren't interested in him. That way you will please your parents by meeting him, the other family will be pleased that both the kids met...and in the end just say there was no chemistry. Because you can't use school as an excuse...and it doesn't look like you have any other choice.
i got to agree with nikki here...

meet the guy

make ur folks happy
plus who knows he might actually turn out to be someone ur interested in.....

and plus u just said they are willing to wait so there is nothing wrong in getting to know him

[yeahwhat]

thats not what you said last night :shame:

oh yeah? Stupidface!

[yeahwhat]

You could just atleast meet the guy, even though you aren't interested in him. That way you will please your parents by meeting him, the other family will be pleased that both the kids met...and in the end just say there was no chemistry. Because you can't use school as an excuse...and it doesn't look like you have any other choice.


NO meeting the guy is a bad idea ... it gives ppl the wrong idea, indians dont think in those terms ... DO NOT MEET HIM it will just further the problem ... it may even cause problems in the family ... ppl are more prone to talk shit about you and ur family as well

[WildWolfdog]

Just tell them you're in love with the Hindu boy name Rahul and you'll never be with anyone else ... and then when everyone gets all surprised ... be like .. "atleast I think I'm in love with him ... but then again, that's what I thought when I was with Rajiv and Jesse" .. and end it with "well at this point I better be in love with Rahul (then do a guilty look :anxious: ala The Sopranos).

[FlyDesiGrl]

NO meeting the guy is a bad idea ... it gives ppl the wrong idea, indians dont think in those terms ... DO NOT MEET HIM it will just further the problem ... it may even cause problems in the family ... ppl are more prone to talk shit about you and ur family as well
Well if that's the case,...that blows the concept of rishtey completely out of the window. You meet a person through a family member/friend and you see if sparks fly...if they don't you move on. Whether there are sour grapes or not, that's a part of the package. The way the two families deal with that, is all in their own hands.

Just shows how hypocritical and fucked up brown people are, doesn't it?

[gorjuzkuri]

tell them u need a whole nite to think about it... maybe he can sleep over - this way u can practice being married and see how it works out
lmao...nice idea...only thing is my man wants to hunt him down and beat him up.

[gorjuzkuri]

why you want to say no?
cause, ive sacrificed way too much for the guy im in love with right now...and the whole story sounds way toooooooo bollywood...we arent even like physically in the same place...but, im doing the whole paro-wait-thing haha. And, telling them i like somebody that im not sure of yet would totally throw off things.

[gorjuzkuri]

Well if that's the case,...that blows the concept of rishtey completely out of the window. You meet a person through a family member/friend and you see if sparks fly...if they don't you move on. Whether there are sour grapes or not, that's a part of the package. The way the two families deal with that, is all in their own hands.

Just shows how hypocritical and fucked up brown people are, doesn't it?Well, actually see i think i know where their point of view is coming from. It is true that...if you either deny the family or have a say in something...they normally turn around and say..."hai hai larki kharab hai blah blah" And, sadly thats just how most of them work out. Unless, u have a super mod family u are dealing with.

[papercut]

but vhy dont u like him? If i had a hot doctor proposing to me I'd say hell yea when. Oh nevermind

[gorjuzkuri]

Just tell them you're in love with the Hindu boy name Rahul and you'll never be with anyone else ... and then when everyone gets all surprised ... be like .. "atleast I think I'm in love with him ... but then again, that's what I thought when I was with Rajiv and Jesse" .. and end it with "well at this point I better be in love with Rahul (then do a guilty look :anxious: ala The Sopranos).
lmaoooo...i was going for the whole..."convert to hinduism ...marry the man i like...and then convert back?" what say?

[gorjuzkuri]

but vhy dont u like him? If i had a hot doctor proposing to me I'd say hell yea when
Well, hes not a doctor.
He has a nice job.
Hes fucking 19! though! for that matter two years younger than me.
His family owns half of a state.
His family picked me out.
And, they think hes ok looking.

[gorjuzkuri]

NO meeting the guy is a bad idea ... it gives ppl the wrong idea, indians dont think in those terms ... DO NOT MEET HIM it will just further the problem ... it may even cause problems in the family ... ppl are more prone to talk shit about you and ur family as well
yeah i kinda agree with that too...but how do i just tell the people not to come.
They are planning on coming to my town either this week or in november. Taking a 12 hour drive. this some serious shit kid.

[FlyDesiGrl]

Well, actually see i think i know where their point of view is coming from. It is true that...if you either deny the family or have a say in something...they normally turn around and say..."hai hai larki kharab hai blah blah" And, sadly thats just how most of them work out. Unless, u have a super mod family u are dealing with.
Then you need to just step up to your parents and tell them to back off because you aren't ready to get married...nor are you interested in meeting the guy...and even if you do meet him, you're still going to say no. Ssoooo..to save your parents the embarrasment..tell them not to even bother setting up a meeting. ;)

[gorjuzkuri]

You could just atleast meet the guy, even though you aren't interested in him. That way you will please your parents by meeting him, the other family will be pleased that both the kids met...and in the end just say there was no chemistry. Because you can't use school as an excuse...and it doesn't look like you have any other choice.
hmmm sounds reasonable. But, for some reason i know my parents...they get more excited than i do. And, they will take a decision before things even simmer down. Gosh...im just in a terrible situation. And, even making the other family wait will be like...giving them false hopes. And, if i say no and the families have met...then it must mean the boy has something wrong in him or i have something wrong in me...which will in turn cause many more problems.

[gorjuzkuri]

Then you need to just step up to your parents and tell them to back off because you aren't ready to get married...nor are you interested in meeting the guy...and even if you do meet him, you're still going to say no. Ssoooo..to save your parents the embarrasment..tell them not to even bother setting up a meeting. ;)
could you say that to your parents?

[papercut]

Well if hes not a doctor then course not :p

[w1ld]

cause, ive sacrificed way too much for the guy im in love with right now...and the whole story sounds way toooooooo bollywood...we arent even like physically in the same place...but, im doing the whole paro-wait-thing haha. And, telling them i like somebody that im not sure of yet would totally throw off things.
If your parents are understanding and you are close to them, you should tell them about the dude you like. It will make things easier.

[FlyDesiGrl]

could you say that to your parents?
Yes. And i've said it to them on many occasions. ANDDD when i was in the same boat as you....(had a bf).

[gorjuzkuri]

i got to agree with nikki here...

meet the guy

make ur folks happy
plus who knows he might actually turn out to be someone ur interested in.....

and plus u just said they are willing to wait so there is nothing wrong in getting to know him
i dont know why it seems like a bad idea. You know how desi parents say one thing and do another.

[gorjuzkuri]

If your parents are understanding and you are close to them, you should tell them about the dude you like. It will make things easier.
Sadly, i once did...and my mom threw a fit cause we were young...i mean we still are. But, i was 16...and now im 19. And, things have changed a lot. And, his family has been in some serious issues. And, for that my parents probably wont accept him. And, not only that he got into some serious bad habits when i broke up with him...and, now that hes recovering and becoming really religious...i for some reason feel like my parents wont see that.

[gorjuzkuri]

Yes. And i've said it to them on many occasions. ANDDD when i was in the same boat as you....(had a bf).
and, you had like super decent proposals. As in where ur parents said THIS IS JUST THE PERFECT GUY!?

[FlyDesiGrl]

hmmm sounds reasonable. But, for some reason i know my parents...they get more excited than i do. And, they will take a decision before things even simmer down. Gosh...im just in a terrible situation. And, even making the other family wait will be like...giving them false hopes. And, if i say no and the families have met...then it must mean the boy has something wrong in him or i have something wrong in me...which will in turn cause many more problems.
I've been through that shit before. And to be quite frank..who cares what his family thinks, and how bad he looks. At the end of the day, if one of you says no...you will both turn your backs and blame each other, meaning you will say he wasn't up to your standards...and he will say you weren't up to his standards either.

Look at it this way though...the person who arranged this rishtaa obviously saw something which made him/her think that you and this guy were compatible. If you aren't happy with it...then just contact the person who arranged this...and tell them you're not willing to meet the person, but thanks for the look out.

[FlyDesiGrl]

and, you had like super decent proposals. As in where ur parents said THIS IS JUST THE PERFECT GUY!?
Yes, ma'am. Perfect in every way...in my parents' eyes. Not in my eyes at all.

[gorjuzkuri]

you want somebody who is interested in the same field
because journalism often time requires somebody with the same profession to have similarly aligned schedules?
Theyll tell me to not do journalism then
I dont know why but for some reason this week my parents have been sounding really narrow minded. And, i just dont see why. Normally, they are so broad minded. But, sheesh. My dad thinks just because i wanna go to a university out of my town that im trying to run away from them...and that journalism is of no good either. And, if i wanna be something i gotta be a doc. ITs like...all way of thinking has suddenly gone out the window.

[gorjuzkuri]

I've been through that shit before. And to be quite frank..who cares what his family thinks, and how bad he looks. At the end of the day, if one of you says no...you will both turn your backs and blame each other, meaning you will say he wasn't up to your standards...and he will say you weren't up to his standards either.

Look at it this way though...the person who arranged this rishtaa obviously saw something which made him/her think that you and this guy were compatible. If you aren't happy with it...then just contact the person who arranged this...and tell them you're not willing to meet the person, but thanks for the look out.
erm...well my idiot ass decided to dance to kajra re at a cousins wedding...and his father picked me out of it. And, hes the one whos actually being really assertive abt it i guess you can say?

[gorjuzkuri]

Yes, ma'am. Perfect in every way...in my parents' eyes. Not in my eyes at all.
what do u think was wrong with them? like name some things...i wanna have a rough idea of what i can point out wrong.

[Rogue]

So, people tell me if a family came with a proposal...and you wanted to compleletly reject the idiots...how would you do that?

Keeping in mind they are a good family, good guy, and everythings set. :(i'd simply say that i have other aspects of my life to focus on and i'm not considering getting married anytime soon.

[FlyDesiGrl]

erm...well my idiot ass decided to dance to kajra re at a cousins wedding...and his father picked me out of it. And, hes the one whos actually being really assertive abt it i guess you can say?
well, his dad is one bold man...hell. Are you families very close, or get along well?

[w1ld]

Sadly, i once did...and my mom threw a fit cause we were young...i mean we still are. But, i was 16...and now im 19. And, things have changed a lot. And, his family has been in some serious issues. And, for that my parents probably wont accept him. And, not only that he got into some serious bad habits when i broke up with him...and, now that hes recovering and becoming really religious...i for some reason feel like my parents wont see that.
messed up :no:

Are you the only one who is sacrifying in this whole situation? How much your Mr. Right is serious in recovering and is he recovering for you or for his own good?

[FlyDesiGrl]

what do u think was wrong with them? like name some things...i wanna have a rough idea of what i can point out wrong.

It's not a matter of picking out certain things that you don't like. See it's like this. They (the parents, the person who arranges the kids to meet) see all the surface values and qualities...and to them he could be the perfect guy. He's going/gone to school, he's got/getting a degree, he's got a great job, he makes this much money, he has his own house already, blah blah. That's surface level crap to our elders. They don't realize that sitting and chatting with a person you could possibly end up spending the rest of your life with..isn't enough. There is too much shit left unsaid...and slowly little things will start creeping out. You end up having to say "yes" to this person, and have a probation period of a year or whatever to get to know your "fiance". I'm sorry, but bollocks to that....:ugh:

I told my parents i'm not interesting in an arranged marriage. I don't want one, and i'll find someone myself.

[w1ld]

Theyll tell me to not do journalism then
I dont know why but for some reason this week my parents have been sounding really narrow minded. And, i just dont see why. Normally, they are so broad minded. But, sheesh. My dad thinks just because i wanna go to a university out of my town that im trying to run away from them...and that journalism is of no good either. And, if i wanna be something i gotta be a doc. ITs like...all way of thinking has suddenly gone out the window.
If you try hard, you will become a good doc that I know ;)

Also, talk to your dad; alone and far from home where your mum is not near you as your mum is emotional and emotional moms always create a mess specially in those "rishta" type of things. I am sure if you talk to your dad wisely, he will understand what you are going through and what you think is best for you.

[shamera]

The age-old excuse, "I'm too young and I have completed my education."

[gorjuzkuri]

messed up :no:

Are you the only one who is sacrifying in this whole situation? How much your Mr. Right is serious in recovering and is he recovering for you or for his own good?
lol MashAllah hes gone through hell and back. He quit smoking, clubbing, drinking, weed...started praying namaz, attending islamic things, and is going through with college...as he had lost all touch with that.

Ive sacrified where as...i waited for him. BC i had left him in the first place...and then he became real bitchy lol towards me. And...to show my sincerity i didnt date anyone else...and, now hes trying his best and trying to get back here. We both have sacrificed a lot for that matter.

[w1ld]

The age-old excuse, "I'm too young and I have completed my education."
well the other family is stubborn or in desi term "dheet" who is willing to wait for a kuri who is gorjuz. Another bollywood story :no:

[gorjuzkuri]

If you try hard, you will become a good doc that I know ;)

Also, talk to your dad; alone and far from home where your mum is not near you as your mum is emotional and emotional moms always create a mess specially in those "rishta" type of things. I am sure if you talk to your dad wisely, he will understand what you are going through and what you think is best for you.
pshh my dad and me...are wayyyy tooo far apart. I mean we respect each other dearly...but weve never had a decent conversation. Its not a bad relationship...but its not one that requires all the lovey dovey attention between father and daughter.

[gorjuzkuri]

The age-old excuse, "I'm too young and I have completed my education."
dude, i tried moving to austin...but gosh...now they want me to stay in tyler. And, the whole college thing doesnt seem to work unless u are aiming to be a doc.

[w1ld]

lol MashAllah hes gone through hell and back. He quit smoking, clubbing, drinking, weed...started praying namaz, attending islamic things, and is going through with college...as he had lost all touch with that.

Ive sacrified where as...i waited for him. BC i had left him in the first place...and then he became real bitchy lol towards me. And...to show my sincerity i didnt date anyone else...and, now hes trying his best and trying to get back here. We both have sacrificed a lot for that matter.
I hope it works out for you sweety.

Its sometime hard to deal with desi parents but as I said if you can work it out with your dad, it will be much better. Father is more understanding than mother and will always save your back in rishata drama.

[gorjuzkuri]

KEEP IN MIND...OUR PARENTS DO USE THE WHOLE " TUMHARI UMAR MEY HUMAREY THO BACHEY HOGAYEY THE"

lol

[w1ld]

pshh my dad and me...are wayyyy tooo far apart. I mean we respect each other dearly...but weve never had a decent conversation. Its not a bad relationship...but its not one that requires all the lovey dovey attention between father and daughter.
:no:

ok lets see other options then..:think:

[Aurovon]

just get married. i heard its cool.

[PakPlaya69]

You's are all dumb fucks we are talking about desis here. Just tell your parents how these people are known for asking dowry and shit and this guy was enaged 3 times before and used to hit his fiance and ask for money and also he is a heavy drinker and once got done for rape

[soladylike]

Even though I already have someone I'd like to marry, I still always meet the guy and his family whenever I get rishtas.
Then once they leave me alone with the guy to "talk" and "get to know each other" I pull out my bag of tricks and the guy rejects me. No mess no fuss :D
A sample would be: "I require you to get tested for STDs. I cannot take your word for it. I must see the results for myself. We all experiment. And we all know that guys who settle for arranged marriages have definitely had their share of fun which is why they will marry whoever mommy and daddy pick."
The more "americanized" you act like, the more likely the chances of him saying no and taking all the pressure off of you :D
Works like a charm with all the time :afro:

[krazii aqqie]

Even though I already have someone I'd like to marry, I still always meet the guy and his family whenever I get rishtas.
Then once they leave me alone with the guy to "talk" and "get to know each other" I pull out my bag of tricks and the guy rejects me. No mess no fuss :D
A sample would be: "I require you to get tested for STDs. I cannot take your word for it. I must see the results for myself. We all experiment. And we all know that guys who settle for arranged marriages have definitely had their share of fun which is why they will marry whoever mommy and daddy pick."
The more "americanized" you act like, the more likely the chances of him saying no and taking all the pressure off of you :D
Works like a charm with all the time :afro:

:rofl: I should deff keep that in mind.

[-Nidhi-]

lmaoooo...i was going for the whole..."convert to hinduism ...marry the man i like...and then convert back?" what say?

ur not allowed to convert into hinduism... ur either born a hindu or convert to another religion

[baha_dmx]

So, people tell me if a family came with a proposal...and you wanted to compleletly reject the idiots...how would you do that?

Keeping in mind they are a good family, good guy, and everythings set. :(


Poor you, i kinda feel sorry for you. But if i had a daughter i would let her tell me who she likes and why. I will then decide whats good for her.

But in your case talk to the guy alone, and tell him your situation. Ask him for his help, also don't forget to butter him up; but don't be too obvious.

[human-nature]

So, people tell me if a family came with a proposal...and you wanted to compleletly reject the idiots...how would you do that?

Keeping in mind they are a good family, good guy, and everythings set. :(
If that is the case and there that Good, why do you want to reject the rishtah? :rolleyes:

[TheDude]

tell your parents - "have you seen my |__|__| ? allah doesn't want me to get married"

[human-nature]

tell your parents - "have you seen my |__|__| ? allah doesn't want me to get married"
The what

[keep_ya_head_up]

........

[flow-natural]

tell em ur already married

[sikh_balla]

just say theres someone else...and tell them about me :D lol

[gorjuzkuri]

just say theres someone else...and tell them about me :D lol
are u willing to get shot down? lol :D

[gorjuzkuri]

tell em ur already married
yea, and i saw how far rani mukherjee got in saathiya...

SLAP...GET OUT MY HOUSEEEEEEEEE!

:p

[flow-natural]

yea, and i saw how far rani mukherjee got in saathiya...

SLAP...GET OUT MY HOUSEEEEEEEEE!

:p


:hand: u slap em back or call the cops

[gorjuzkuri]

If they are a good family then why do call them idiots? Be straight up and give them your reasons, let your parents know first. If your reasons are valid you will be fine, no one can force you into a marriage, you can't spend the rest of your life with someone you refer to as an idiot. If you give me their e-mail address I can forward this thread to their entire family, problem solved, or you can tell them yourself.
Yea, i just talked to my guy...and, he sounds pretty convincing or if not convincing then at least very positive/hopeful. so, yea. I dunno...im trying to work this.

[gorjuzkuri]

:hand: u slap em back or call the cops
my parents :( ????

[gorjuzkuri]

just get married. i heard its cool.
and then get divorced?
Cause, thats even cooler lol.

[flow-natural]

my parents :( ????


thats what im talking about

[gorjuzkuri]

tell your parents - "have you seen my |__|__| ? allah doesn't want me to get married"
it looks fat! Im not gonna lie...im starting to look like a pear more than a coke bottle.

[gorjuzkuri]

If that is the case and there that Good, why do you want to reject the rishtah? :rolleyes:
cause, i am deeply in love with someone.

[gorjuzkuri]

Even though I already have someone I'd like to marry, I still always meet the guy and his family whenever I get rishtas.
Then once they leave me alone with the guy to "talk" and "get to know each other" I pull out my bag of tricks and the guy rejects me. No mess no fuss :D
A sample would be: "I require you to get tested for STDs. I cannot take your word for it. I must see the results for myself. We all experiment. And we all know that guys who settle for arranged marriages have definitely had their share of fun which is why they will marry whoever mommy and daddy pick."
The more "americanized" you act like, the more likely the chances of him saying no and taking all the pressure off of you :D
Works like a charm with all the time :afro:
i kinda like this idea...but he seems super americanized...or not super but moderately. Tell me more things to ask. plz :p

[gorjuzkuri]

thats what im talking about
isnt that like against the law or something haha?

[TheDude]

it looks fat! Im not gonna lie...im starting to look like a pear more than a coke bottle.

"shore shore"

[gorjuzkuri]

You's are all dumb fucks we are talking about desis here. Just tell your parents how these people are known for asking dowry and shit and this guy was enaged 3 times before and used to hit his fiance and ask for money and also he is a heavy drinker and once got done for rape
my parents wont worry abt dowry
rape maybe...but sounds kinda impossible lol
im abt to pull the "hes a drinker" episode. lol
helpppppppppppp :neutral:

[gorjuzkuri]

"shore shore"
are you saying that im lying? huh huh.

[flow-natural]

isnt that like against the law or something haha?

no its not

[gorjuzkuri]

ur not allowed to convert into hinduism... ur either born a hindu or convert to another religion
damn it.

[gorjuzkuri]

no its not
should i consider it? lol

[TheDude]

are you saying that im lying? huh huh.

mmhmm




pics

proof

care


in that order.

[flow-natural]

damn it.

shes lyin man, wtf how dumb is she

[TheDude]

damn it.

technically, yes.

but im sure if you renounce your religion and say you wanna be hindu, his parents might be like coo coo.

[uglyDuckling]

NO meeting the guy is a bad idea ... it gives ppl the wrong idea, indians dont think in those terms ... DO NOT MEET HIM it will just further the problem ... it may even cause problems in the family ... ppl are more prone to talk shit about you and ur family as well

WTF ... How are you supposed to know if the guy is right for you if you don't meet him or talk to him? How will you know if you have anything in common?

Gorjuz I think you should just be honest with your parents and let them know that you are just not emotionally ready for a commitment. That you don't feel you can carry the resposibility of a serious relationship right now.

It would be a lot easier if you got the chance to speak to the guy and then you can tell your parents that your views don't match.

[sikh_balla]

are u willing to get shot down? lol :D

if gettin shot down is what it takes to not only prove my love for you, but also set ur freedom..then my dear...so be it

[geezashah]

So, people tell me if a family came with a proposal...and you wanted to compleletly reject the idiots...how would you do that?

Keeping in mind they are a good family, good guy, and everythings set. :(


Well i think u dont wana say no even ..and ur just confused about arranged marriage ..believe I give it a short ..am sure dat if u do not like a guy ..no one is gona make u marry him by force in 21st century...so just cheer up..go give it a short ..this is what nice girls do ....

[PrOfFaSeE]

lol
wtf
i dont get arranged marraiges

[SafarE]

marriage is just ghey.

[-Nidhi-]

shes lyin man, wtf how dumb is she

dumb!? look it up on google then... i'm a hindu and i'm in love with a muslim, in order for me to marry him i HAVE to convert to islam because he cannot convert... like i said before, ur either born a hindu or u convert to another religion

[vgirl]

you could use the fact that he is younger than you, and he probably isnt mature enough (although you'd have to meet him) you could try saying that older guys are better etc.

[vgirl]

dumb!? look it up on google then... i'm a hindu and i'm in love with a muslim, in order for me to marry him i HAVE to convert to islam because he cannot convert... like i said before, ur either born a hindu or u convert to another religion
i don't think thats true. there are no 'rules' in hinduism.

[-Nidhi-]

i don't think thats true. there are no 'rules' in hinduism.

well she can't convert to hinduism... but if she marrys the hindu guy, she is neither a hindu or a muslim...

[devil]

So, people tell me if a family came with a proposal...and you wanted to compleletly reject the idiots...how would you do that?

Keeping in mind they are a good family, good guy, and everythings set. :(


I guess if every thing is good then u should accept it....but still if u dont want to then ... just say u need to study more right now and don,t want to do marry or stuff like that @ this age but for that u need to have supporting parents i gues....

[keep_ya_head_up]

........

[supremed]

vomit over the dudes mom,pull his sisters hair and call her a rundi, look at the dude and ask if he has money and good personality atleast because he looks like shit, pick your nose and eat what you salvaged...or for extra points pick your ass and smell it...

After all of this...get up and scream Mujhay Yeh Rishta Manzoor hai

[vgirl]

well she can't convert to hinduism... but if she marrys the hindu guy, she is neither a hindu or a muslim...

i don't see why you think someone can't "convert" to hinduism. sure, there are no rituals etc that you have to do to become a hindu, but obviously if you read/study the scriptures, practice the religion, and believe the teachings and guidance and way of life then you can be a practising hindu if you like. i dont think hinduism states anywhere that you cannot start follow the religion if you were not born into it, that would go against what it stands for. i think its more that there is an understanding that all faiths are paths to one truth, so it doesnt matter anyways.

[flow-natural]

i don't see why you think someone can't "convert" to hinduism. sure, there are no rituals etc that you have to do to become a hindu, but obviously if you read/study the scriptures, practice the religion, and believe the teachings and guidance and way of life then you can be a practising hindu if you like. i dont think hinduism states anywhere that you cannot start follow the religion if you were not born into it, that would go against what it stands for. i think its more that there is an understanding that all faiths are paths to one truth, so it doesnt matter anyways.


init fukin bullshit

ur just makin excuses cos u dont wanna admit that its ur own choice that ur converting

religion is sumthing ur sposed 2 believe in, u dont just convert 4 a muslim guy.

[sachin_patel]

tell them u need to have a trial sex first. if that works, then you'll think.. u always do that before thinking ahead so far. :D

[jigga man23]

So, people tell me if a family came with a proposal...and you wanted to compleletly reject the idiots...how would you do that?

Keeping in mind they are a good family, good guy, and everythings set. :(

Just tell them your not attracted to that person...

[vgirl]

init fukin bullshit

ur just makin excuses cos u dont wanna admit that its ur own choice that ur converting

religion is sumthing ur sposed 2 believe in, u dont just convert 4 a muslim guy.
lol, i assume the second part of your post was not addressed to me?

[jigga man23]

I get ristas all the time people trying to hook me up with their 6'0" tall daughters... :neutral:

[gorjuzkuri]

I get ristas all the time people trying to hook me up with their 6'0" tall daughters... :neutral:
Lucky hoe...youre a guy...reject em!

[gorjuzkuri]

tell them u need to have a trial sex first. if that works, then you'll think.. u always do that before thinking ahead so far. :D
Well, we were aiming to shoot down every possible prospect. And, then claim to have mental problems.

[gorjuzkuri]

vomit over the dudes mom,pull his sisters hair and call her a rundi, look at the dude and ask if he has money and good personality atleast because he looks like shit, pick your nose and eat what you salvaged...or for extra points pick your ass and smell it...

After all of this...get up and scream Mujhay Yeh Rishta Manzoor hai
lmaooo...thats what i needed. I honestly need some humor in this. Because, im soo pissed off about it...that someone needs to bring a little mirch masala too.

[gorjuzkuri]

This is a dilemma of all sorts
oh yes it is...too many sorts.

[flow-natural]

lol, i assume the second part of your post was not addressed to me?

no dats 2 the other girl lol soz (F)

[jigga man23]

Lucky hoe...youre a guy...reject em!

I do I tell them sorry too tall and i'm short

[PuNjabi_RaNi*]

Seriously how hard is it to say no?

:no:

Cant be that difficult.

[keep_ya_head_up]

........

[gorjuzkuri]

I guess if every thing is good then u should accept it....but still if u dont want to then ... just say u need to study more right now and don,t want to do marry or stuff like that @ this age but for that u need to have supporting parents i gues....
i just feel if i agree to see the guy...that itll lead them to force me into things even more. Though they are not of that nature...but with desi parents yo uare never too sure.

[mp3]

So, people tell me if a family came with a proposal...and you wanted to compleletly reject the idiots...how would you do that?

Keeping in mind they are a good family, good guy, and everythings set. :(


Give the guy a chance you never know

[gorjuzkuri]

I think I've seen a hindi movie before with a plotline like this, oh yeah 95% of hindi movies are like this. After watching many of these movies I have come to a conclusion for you. Few days before the wedding ceremony you will reveal to everyone how you truly feel, your man that you truly love will somehow get involved in the wedding gatherings before the actual wedding date, he will slowly win and capture all your relatives hearts from behind the scenes while no one is the wiser to who he really is. Then as the wedding date arrives you will break down in tears and let everyone know how you feel, he will come by your side and reveal who he really is, a thirty minute dialogue sequence will follow leaving everyone with an open mouth in bewilderment. He will cry, you will cry, your relatives will cry, then your soon to be "idiot" husband will say he wants to see you happy and wants you to marry the man you truly love. Your tears will turn to joy, a dance number will follow, perhaps even children, but that is another tale, another time.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GQMXlGu6dy4&mode=related&search=

Gimme a break, couldn't you come up with an original story. How about your car turns into Bumblebee and you drive off to save the earth from evil robots. No no, I know, I stop writing before I get writers block. Chow ... Mein


thats a bollywood movie...

The twist here is a little more complicated. But, the only thing is i dont wish to share the major details with you lot. And, i assume that you would like to see the plot of a movie that is original...youd have to go to hollywood perhaps you can find girl meets girl...girl cannot marry girl...blah blah.

[gorjuzkuri]

Give the guy a chance you never know
yikes, but i love another guy. :(

[gorjuzkuri]

Seriously how hard is it to say no?

:no:

Cant be that difficult.
its not hard to say no at all...but, to be strong enough to stick by your decision...and, to contradict something your parents think is just the best thing that can happen. Is really hard.

[mp3]

yikes, but i love another guy. :(

Oh ok. In that case let him know, he will understand. I'm sure he dont want to get caught up in the middle of anything so will appreciate it

[gorjuzkuri]

I do I tell them sorry too tall and i'm short
maybe, ill tell them...im too dark for them huh huh how about that?

[gorjuzkuri]

Oh ok. In that case let him know, he will understand.
problem is...that they are kinda closely knitted with my dads cousin. So, i dont want things to be all out in the open and what not. What if hes a manwhore...and decides to tell the whole family...and in turn they tell my family.

[mp3]

problem is...that they are kinda closely knitted with my dads cousin. So, i dont want things to be all out in the open and what not. What if hes a manwhore...and decides to tell the whole family...and in turn they tell my family.

It will teach you a lesson for not telling your parents or going against their wishes

[gorjuzkuri]

lol
wtf
i dont get arranged marraiges
see, im not sure if its arranged or what ever.
Like, it would be...but, see i havent had to really deal with this stuff much. And, not only that having a good prospect is also harder. So, im not sure which was the road will take me. So im just as confused lol.

[jigga man23]

maybe, ill tell them...im too dark for them huh huh how about that?

Ok if the situation calls for it sure... :D

[gorjuzkuri]

It will teach you a lesson for not telling your parents or going against their wishes
wtf lol.

[keep_ya_head_up]

........

[gorjuzkuri]

Ok if the situation calls for it sure... :D
will u act like my man on the side? So, if they decide to become irrational and wanna kill u ....you can take the pain for me? die as a true soldier kid!

[mp3]

wtf lol.

You know what i mean.

Honour killing

[gorjuzkuri]

First things first, your leaning on the table, sit up straight, keep your head up, second thing is just tell your parents straight up. They know what's best, getting advice on - forget it just rant and let the frustration and anger out. That's what message boards are for
exactly, thats why im venting here. I mean i can with my friends but my dumbass friends are out of town. And, if i tell my man he gets super upset. Like, he doesnt but you know the feeling when you tell someone they arent good enough for you. yeah that. lol
So, i ended up coming here for a bit of humor and a bit of seriousness. I cant tell them as of now. Because, i want to be mature and i want my guy to be mature too. And, i want it to be where things sound logical to tell. Right now it is a teenage love affair that has had its ups and downs from the age of 16. And, i mean weve been apart (no extra affairs) or anything...but we still attracted. So, i guess that shows...but are parents really supposed to understand that and make their decision depend on that?

[gorjuzkuri]

You know what i mean.

Honour killing
this upsets me deeply...i think ill bake some cookies .

[mp3]

Imagine he is a member of RD. It will be straight back to india first class for you

[keep_ya_head_up]

........

[mp3]

this upsets me deeply...i think ill bake some cookies .

Make some for me.

[gorjuzkuri]

mmhmm




pics

proof

care


in that order.
no you give me proof that u are hot! NOW!

[gorjuzkuri]

It's all good, I got a hold of your address and sent print outs of this thread to your home address. Problem Solved, so who wants some chai?
oh great...u wanna join us for chai too. And, not get bothered by me hammering u to death ? lolll

[gorjuzkuri]

Imagine he is a member of RD. It will be straight back to india first class for you
lmao, i was just thinking that. But, hey its whatever maybe he wont go with teh whole rishta thing lol.

[gorjuzkuri]

shes lyin man, wtf how dumb is she
here goes world war lol.

[gorjuzkuri]

WTF ... How are you supposed to know if the guy is right for you if you don't meet him or talk to him? How will you know if you have anything in common?

Gorjuz I think you should just be honest with your parents and let them know that you are just not emotionally ready for a commitment. That you don't feel you can carry the resposibility of a serious relationship right now.

It would be a lot easier if you got the chance to speak to the guy and then you can tell your parents that your views don't match.
sounds reasonable...i just dont want them to force me into it even more after they meet the family and guy. You know what im saying...parents get a bit over excited.

[mp3]

Honesty the best policy at some stage you should look to tell your parents before things get out of hand. good luck with it all.

[gorjuzkuri]

you could use the fact that he is younger than you, and he probably isnt mature enough (although you'd have to meet him) you could try saying that older guys are better etc.
but me love is also my age. So, that contradicts myself.

[mp3]

here goes world war lol.

Dont worry about her she is a troublemaker

[gorjuzkuri]

Honesty the best policy at some stage you should look to tell your parents before things get out of hand. good luck with it all.
yeah its amazing...cause ive always told all my friends to tell their parents first of any mishaps and what not. And, i dont know why i cant bring myself around to it. Perhaps, because when i told my mom initially about him 2.5 years back...she wasnt too happy. And, she went loco on me and sort of put me on a semi lock down.

[keep_ya_head_up]

........

[gorjuzkuri]

i don't think thats true. there are no 'rules' in hinduism.
i thought you could convert into any religion. If you believed in it

P.s. although, i was just joking about converting lol.

[gorjuzkuri]

Your almost as dramatic as this squirrel
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a1Y73sPHKxw&mode=related&search=
is it the drunk one...i dont feel like opening it up and watching it.

[gorjuzkuri]

marriage is just ghey.
i kno riyat...its gay shay.

[gorjuzkuri]

Well i think u dont wana say no even ..and ur just confused about arranged marriage ..believe I give it a short ..am sure dat if u do not like a guy ..no one is gona make u marry him by force in 21st century...so just cheer up..go give it a short ..this is what nice girls do ....
yeah but i dont want them too cheery abt it. They are gonna need a valid reason as to why we dont CLICK.

[gorjuzkuri]

if gettin shot down is what it takes to not only prove my love for you, but also set ur freedom..then my dear...so be it
oh lets doo balle balle lol.

[gorjuzkuri]

WTF ... How are you supposed to know if the guy is right for you if you don't meet him or talk to him? How will you know if you have anything in common?

Gorjuz I think you should just be honest with your parents and let them know that you are just not emotionally ready for a commitment. That you don't feel you can carry the resposibility of a serious relationship right now.

It would be a lot easier if you got the chance to speak to the guy and then you can tell your parents that your views don't match.
ok so gimme some help on this. When you say view...what do you mean?
Have we ever really looked in depth about what kind of views. I mean they must be valid issues that would want me to not wanna "click" with him.

[keep_ya_head_up]

........

[WonkaBear]

everybody is from a "good family" and its always a "good guy"

.... just not after u get married...

[devil]

i just feel if i agree to see the guy...that itll lead them to force me into things even more. Though they are not of that nature...but with desi parents yo uare never too sure.


well u kinda right too.....

[keep_ya_head_up]

........

[-Ziad-]

it happens, no biggie. tell your bf to send a rishta hurry hurry.

AND WHERES THE EFFING BLOG ABOUT THIS YAAR!

[jigga man23]

will u act like my man on the side? So, if they decide to become irrational and wanna kill u ....you can take the pain for me? die as a true soldier kid!


Fuck NO.....


:D

[jigga man23]

no you give me proof that u are hot! NOW!

He is after all he is my cuz it runs in the family yo...

[-Ziad-]

dumb!? look it up on google then... i'm a hindu and i'm in love with a muslim, in order for me to marry him i HAVE to convert to islam because he cannot convert... like i said before, ur either born a hindu or u convert to another religionlol. really? yes you have to convert to islam in order for him to marry you(its islamic law), but one can convert to hinduism. well as far as i know. but i dont think your man would want that.

[gorjuzkuri]

it happens, no biggie. tell your bf to send a rishta hurry hurry.

AND WHERES THE EFFING BLOG ABOUT THIS YAAR!
man i need you...seriously. Like all hell is breaking loose at once.
My parents all of a sudden are changed ppl marriage is becoming an issue and so is what career i wanna choose. I dont know man...i dont know.

[gorjuzkuri]

He is after all he is my cuz it runs in the family yo...
is that right?

[gorjuzkuri]

Fuck NO.....


:D
but whyaaaaaaaa?

[gorjuzkuri]

Now you even got the devil helping you out, what more could you ask for.
yea...you are pretty comforting.

v=a1bNAW7n8Ms


ok for some dumbass reason i embedded a video from youtube...its there but its not showing up wtf!

[pagal_guju]

yea...you are pretty comforting.



ok for some dumbass reason i embedded a video from youtube...its there but its not showing up wtf!

here you go

a1bNAW7n8Ms

[gorjuzkuri]

here you go

a1bNAW7n8Ms
yay did u like it?

[supremed]

lmaooo...thats what i needed. I honestly need some humor in this. Because, im soo pissed off about it...that someone needs to bring a little mirch masala too.
glad to be of assistance

[soladylike]

i kinda like this idea...but he seems super americanized...or not super but moderately. Tell me more things to ask. plz :p

Oh sweetheart, he's agreeing to meet and marry the girl of his parents' choice. You KNOW he's not super americanized.
He's still a traditional brown boy at heart. They can dress a certain way or talk a certain way but if he is in the arranged marriage situation that means he wants a decent sharif seedhi sadhi biwi.
So you give him the opposite of that. And don't make it seem like an act. Be forceful, be strong, and show that you're not a girly girl. Look directly at him when you talk. Ask about him. Try to show that you are interested. Interested to the point of knowing every single detail about him, that is.
The guys I have to meet for rishtas will always downplay their career or jobs because they think "oh pretty girl has an empty head and she won't understand". So I tell them, "Please, don't insult me by saying you work with computers. That is so vague. There are many jobs where you work with computers. A secretary works with computers all day long. For all I know that's what you could be doing."
More than that, the sex issues always scare them. Whenever I tell the guy that I will require a lot from him in bed, he gets a bit shocked that I would ask such things in the first meeting. Usually you don't have to take things as far as the sex issues. Just your interrogating attitude should scare him off. And don't appear to be joyous or happy or shy. A little pissed off face doesn't hurt. The more you want to know about the details of his life, the more inclined he'll be to say "no".
It's worked so well for me that I have managed to scare off rishtas for a while.
Btw, don't underestimate the power of praying. I always pray Istikhara before meeting with the guys and things have worked out fine. But don't pray that "I hope he rejects me because I want to marry that one guy." Pray for Allah to do what is best for you.

[Nilü]

Well.. like other people here say tell them you want to focus on your study
and that your not ready for marriage yet

[icekreamgirl12]

So, people tell me if a family came with a proposal...and you wanted to compleletly reject the idiots...how would you do that?

Keeping in mind they are a good family, good guy, and everythings set. :(
:werd:

[BinDaaS_BaBe]

reject the idiots - if they come from a good family and stuff? oh rightt.. confused.. i seee

[rio]

find someone you like and get hitched with him

[-Ziad-]

man i need you...seriously. Like all hell is breaking loose at once.
My parents all of a sudden are changed ppl marriage is becoming an issue and so is what career i wanna choose. I dont know man...i dont know.you're already in a wedding dress in your av, chal hat get married. well you know where to find me or just im/txt/call(*cough like i pick up).

PS edit- you should really change the thread subject, say that you already have someone (bf). since everyone's saying the same shit "it might be a good guy go ahead". and i would be worried if you were 25+ so for now at 19 you can resort to the "im too young/not ready to get married".

[-Ziad-]

Oh sweetheart, he's agreeing to meet and marry the girl of his parents' choice. You KNOW he's not super americanized.
He's still a traditional brown boy at heart. They can dress a certain way or talk a certain way but if he is in the arranged marriage situation that means he wants a decent sharif seedhi sadhi biwi.
So you give him the opposite of that. And don't make it seem like an act. Be forceful, be strong, and show that you're not a girly girl. Look directly at him when you talk. Ask about him. Try to show that you are interested. Interested to the point of knowing every single detail about him, that is.
The guys I have to meet for rishtas will always downplay their career or jobs because they think "oh pretty girl has an empty head and she won't understand". So I tell them, "Please, don't insult me by saying you work with computers. That is so vague. There are many jobs where you work with computers. A secretary works with computers all day long. For all I know that's what you could be doing."
More than that, the sex issues always scare them. Whenever I tell the guy that I will require a lot from him in bed, he gets a bit shocked that I would ask such things in the first meeting. Usually you don't have to take things as far as the sex issues. Just your interrogating attitude should scare him off. And don't appear to be joyous or happy or shy. A little pissed off face doesn't hurt. The more you want to know about the details of his life, the more inclined he'll be to say "no".
It's worked so well for me that I have managed to scare off rishtas for a while.
Btw, don't underestimate the power of praying. I always pray Istikhara before meeting with the guys and things have worked out fine. But don't pray that "I hope he rejects me because I want to marry that one guy." Pray for Allah to do what is best for you.Isthikhara is not praying, mostly seeking.

[RYNstarO23]

tell em youre a lesbian... or actually become one
i was gonna say that:razz::kekeke:

[gorjuzkuri]

Isthikhara is not praying, mostly seeking.
yeah thats what i thought...u ask for Allahs guidance and what he thinks is best.

btw, im afraid to do that...lol

[gorjuzkuri]

find someone you like and get hitched with him
i do like someone lol.

[gorjuzkuri]

i was gonna say that:razz::kekeke:
then, finding a girl will be a problem lol.

[gorjuzkuri]

Well.. like other people here say tell them you want to focus on your study
and that your not ready for marriage yeti would but in my other thread i had posted that my parents are going crazy abt my ambition change. Always wanted to be a doc...but all of a sudden reality is kicking in for me...so i wanna choose journalism. And, this is a type of subject that desis thing u dont have to be focused u can get married. Med school is the only one that requires being single lol.

[gorjuzkuri]

reject the idiots - if they come from a good family and stuff? oh rightt.. confused.. i seee
yes very confused...
ill reject...
but, im not sure if my parents will.
maybe, i should make my mom watch PROVOKED OR SOME TYPE OF MOVIE LIKE THAT haha and knock some sense into her.

[gorjuzkuri]

Oh sweetheart, he's agreeing to meet and marry the girl of his parents' choice. You KNOW he's not super americanized.
He's still a traditional brown boy at heart. They can dress a certain way or talk a certain way but if he is in the arranged marriage situation that means he wants a decent sharif seedhi sadhi biwi.
So you give him the opposite of that. And don't make it seem like an act. Be forceful, be strong, and show that you're not a girly girl. Look directly at him when you talk. Ask about him. Try to show that you are interested. Interested to the point of knowing every single detail about him, that is.
The guys I have to meet for rishtas will always downplay their career or jobs because they think "oh pretty girl has an empty head and she won't understand". So I tell them, "Please, don't insult me by saying you work with computers. That is so vague. There are many jobs where you work with computers. A secretary works with computers all day long. For all I know that's what you could be doing."
More than that, the sex issues always scare them. Whenever I tell the guy that I will require a lot from him in bed, he gets a bit shocked that I would ask such things in the first meeting. Usually you don't have to take things as far as the sex issues. Just your interrogating attitude should scare him off. And don't appear to be joyous or happy or shy. A little pissed off face doesn't hurt. The more you want to know about the details of his life, the more inclined he'll be to say "no".
It's worked so well for me that I have managed to scare off rishtas for a while.
Btw, don't underestimate the power of praying. I always pray Istikhara before meeting with the guys and things have worked out fine. But don't pray that "I hope he rejects me because I want to marry that one guy." Pray for Allah to do what is best for you.

completely loveddddd your answer...except the part about istikarah.
A. im afraid of doing istikarah for anything because you HAVE to follow it. OR, It is suggested that you do because u have seeked Allahs help and guidance.
B. istikarah is seeking for guidance lol.
but, yea your answer was one of the ones i actually enjoyed reading.

[soladylike]

Isthikhara is not praying, mostly seeking.

It is a prayer seeking Allah's guidance. In fact, more than seeking it is leaving matters entirely up to Him to work out in a manner He sees best for you.

[gorjuzkuri]

It is a prayer seeking Allah's guidance. In fact, more than seeking it is leaving matters entirely up to Him to work out in a manner He sees best for you.
yeah...and ive heard that u HAVE to follow it afterwards. So, what if i ask about me and my guy. And, god forbid it comes out as a no. Do you realize...my lifes gonna be hell? lol

[-Ziad-]

It is a prayer seeking Allah's guidance. In fact, more than seeking it is leaving matters entirely up to Him to work out in a manner He sees best for you.It is but isthikhara's primarily a question, and praying is not. I'm not sure how you do isthikhara there's ways but in the end you're supposed to listen to what He says. (and like sobi said some people are scared to do it, since you pretty much have to listen)

Anyways, point is I would rather pray normally, ishtikhara has different purposes.

[reggie_xox]

just say that they are a nice family but your just not interested :dunno:, why would you need to lie or give some stupid excuse.. just tell em the truth.

[soladylike]

It is but isthikhara's primarily a question, and praying is not. I'm not sure how you do isthikhara there's ways but in the end you're supposed to listen to what He says. (and like sobi said some people are scared to do it, since you pretty much have to listen)

Anyways, point is I would rather pray normally, ishtikhara has different purposes.

Yeah, there's no doubt that you are supposed to follow what He lays out for you considering you ARE asking for His help. Istikhara is a formal way of asking for Allah's help. We ask for His help everyday in our five prayers.
There is no complicated way for doing Istikhara. You're supposed to pray two nafl and then read the dua for Istikhara after you've finished the prayer. Most people say that you'll get a dream or a sign that will guide you but most of the time, the situation just works out in a way that is best for you.
I don't see why people are afraid of doing it. Most people do it only when it's time for marriage or when finding a job. It's a lot more than just that. People view Istikhara as a magical spell or something. It's not. The Prophet PBUH taught to do Istikhara whenever we're unsure of anything which includes daily matters of our life as well.
People don't realize that everything in your life happens as a will of Allah whether we like it or not. The only difference with Istikhara is that you of your free will and accord ask Allah to take the matters of your life under His control. Matters that you feel you have no control over and are unsure of. If you read the translation for the dua that is what it states. And there is no sad or unhappy end when Allah handles your matters for you.

[soladylike]

yeah...and ive heard that u HAVE to follow it afterwards. So, what if i ask about me and my guy. And, god forbid it comes out as a no. Do you realize...my lifes gonna be hell? lol

If it comes out as a no, then you should realize it's probably because if you do go that way, your life would definitely have turned into a living hell. Why would Allah do something that would make your life hell?
Apart from your own fierce desire for it to come true, you really have no guarantee at the moment that the guy you love is definitely the right one for you, do you?
I know it's very difficult to imagine that the person you love right now might not be the right one for you but if you say he is changing in the positive way that he is, then perhaps that is a sign for you to put more faith in Allah. He's not out to ruin your life for you. I'm sure you must have prayed before for the guy you loved and things worked out favorably. Perhaps, this is only a small hiccup and a test for you from Allah to see how much faith you have in Him and whether you'll turn to Him or not in your time of need instead of just wringing your hands in despair.
I was very scared to do Istikhara when I got my first rishta. I really did not want to marry that guy. I wanted to marry the guy I loved but to be perfectly honest, I didn't know for sure if he was the right guy for me. But Alhamdulillah, everything worked out in my favor.
If your intentions are pure then you honestly have nothing to worry about. But if you don't feel comfortable doing Istikhara then that is your choice. I am just relating my own experience which was very similar to yours.

[-Nidhi-]

lol. really? yes you have to convert to islam in order for him to marry you(its islamic law), but one can convert to hinduism. well as far as i know. but i dont think your man would want that.
no he wouldn't thats y i have to do it, and get disowned by my family :(

[flow-natural]

no he wouldn't thats y i have to do it, and get disowned by my family :(

then why marry him

[-Nidhi-]

then why marry him
because i love him and would do anything for him

[flow-natural]

because i love him and would do anything for him

you would even leave ur family 4 him

[-Nidhi-]

you would even leave ur family 4 him
yes... they want me to leave him, but i can't... when i don't have him or if we argue, it feels like i have no one... i feel like killing myself :(

[flow-natural]

yes... they want me to leave him, but i can't... when i don't have him or if we argue, it feels like i have no one... i feel like killing myself :(

seriously , stop whining

ur parents gave fukin birth 2 u, they raised ur silly ass so u cud becme the loser u are today and ur acting fukin ungr8ful by crying ere over a guy who cud be history any sec.

[-Nidhi-]

seriously , stop whining

ur parents gave fukin birth 2 u, they raised ur silly ass so u cud becme the loser u are today and ur acting fukin ungr8ful by crying ere over a guy who cud be history any sec.
there not talking to me because we ran away together... now after everything we've been through together, he wants to get married to the girl his parents chose for him :[

[flow-natural]

there not talking to me because we ran away together... now after everything we've been through together, he wants to get married to the girl his parents chose for him :[
did u not read what im sayin

ru like taking the piss here ?

[-Nidhi-]

did u not read what im sayin

ru like taking the piss here ?
no i'm not

[flow-natural]

no i'm not


u actually ran away from home with ur bf ? and now hes ditching your ass for sum1 else ? but u wud still give up ur family for him ?

[-Nidhi-]

u actually ran away from home with ur bf ? and now hes ditching your ass for sum1 else ? but u wud still give up ur family for him ?
no no no he's not ditched me... his parents want him to get married to a muslim girl but he's in love with me, and my family want me to get married to an indian boy who likes to drink ALOT and he is sikh, so if i marry him i'm still converting... my family are being really unreasonable just now, i'm going to leave home again

[PakPlaya69]

no no no he's not ditched me... his parents want him to get married to a muslim girl but he's in love with me, and my family want me to get married to an indian boy who likes to drink ALOT and he is sikh, so if i marry him i'm still converting... my family are being really unreasonable just now, i'm going to leave home again


don listen to this bitch , you and your boy are cute together plus you's are too young to be making such stupid decisions .. flow natural ran away with her paki ex and he dicted her ass for a someone else thts why she s being all that

[-Nidhi-]

don listen to this bitch , you and your boy are cute together plus you's are too young to be making such stupid decisions .. flow natural ran away with her paki ex and he dicted her ass for a someone else thts why she s being all that
oh... but i seriously don't know what to do! i know i'm young, we ran away together at the weekend... his family wanted him back, so i went home for him, but i made my family promise that we could still see each other, my family have changed the rules now, i have to finish with him or i dont have any family... im not leaving him, i'm willing to convert... things r getting so serious that we have a councillor at uni... i tried to kill myself last night, i was desperate! i dont know what to do anymore :(

[Atharvan]

dumb!? look it up on google then... i'm a hindu and i'm in love with a muslim, in order for me to marry him i HAVE to convert to islam because he cannot convert... like i said before, ur either born a hindu or u convert to another religion

who is indoctrinating you with this crap ?? don't you see countless goras in your local ISCKON temple ? they are all converts!! Hinduism doesn't impose restrictions like 'no-one can convert to Hinduism'.In fact quite the opposite.It absolutely true that Hinduism is not a proselytizing religion, but it is wrong to say that Hindus do not accept converts of other races or religions. Hindus do not use fraud or deception for conversion, but if anybody wants to accept Hinduism due to their free will, then they are welcome.

[PakPlaya69]

oh... but i seriously don't know what to do! i know i'm young, we ran away together at the weekend... his family wanted him back, so i went home for him, but i made my family promise that we could still see each other, my family have changed the rules now, i have to finish with him or i dont have any family... im not leaving him, i'm willing to convert... things r getting so serious that we have a councillor at uni... i tried to kill myself last night, i was desperate! i dont know what to do anymore :(


Omgggg arnt youse like 18 n 17 .. take it easy kidsss .. wht da heck .. jessus christ wht da hell is wrong with you two .... why get so serious at this tender age .. relaxx a little

[-Nidhi-]

Omgggg arnt youse like 18 n 17 .. take it easy kidsss .. wht da heck .. jessus christ wht da hell is wrong with you two .... why get so serious at this tender age .. relaxx a little
yeah i'm 17, he's 18... there not letting us relax! we want to get married after uni, u know take things slow... but my parents r making us split up again, even though they promised

[flow-natural]

Omgggg arnt youse like 18 n 17 .. take it easy kidsss .. wht da heck .. jessus christ wht da hell is wrong with you two .... why get so serious at this tender age .. relaxx a little

HAHA loser

werent u encouragin her 2 minz ago

[-Nidhi-]

HAHA loser

werent u encouragin her 2 minz ago
it's not a joke... we don't know what to do :[

[flow-natural]

it's not a joke... we don't know what to do :[

seriously

stop being a dramaqueen

its not gonna get u anywhere

ur family is ur family and thats it

[vgirl]

yeah i'm 17, he's 18... there not letting us relax! we want to get married after uni, u know take things slow... but my parents r making us split up again, even though they promised
wow. intense
in my opinion, (i could be mistaken however), but i don't think your parents will just desert you. you are only a 17 year old girl, have you even finished high school? no matter what your parents are saying to you, or trying to get you to do, they won't leave you. i really dont think any parents that genuinely care about their children will kick them out at such a young age without any skills to fend for themselves.

do not run away with him again, this just shows your immaturity and nothing else. and don't try to self harm. this will not do anything except hurt your bf, your family, and yourself. in fact they will probably want to get rid of his influence so that you stop doing so. and not to mention, its very dangerous. sometimes passive rebellion is a better way.

talk to your guy about what he wants. if he's already giving into his family, and thinking about marrying another girl to appease them, then you really need to work things out. it shows that your relationship needs time to get stronger, and to grow.

[gorjuzkuri]

If it comes out as a no, then you should realize it's probably because if you do go that way, your life would definitely have turned into a living hell. Why would Allah do something that would make your life hell?
Apart from your own fierce desire for it to come true, you really have no guarantee at the moment that the guy you love is definitely the right one for you, do you?
I know it's very difficult to imagine that the person you love right now might not be the right one for you but if you say he is changing in the positive way that he is, then perhaps that is a sign for you to put more faith in Allah. He's not out to ruin your life for you. I'm sure you must have prayed before for the guy you loved and things worked out favorably. Perhaps, this is only a small hiccup and a test for you from Allah to see how much faith you have in Him and whether you'll turn to Him or not in your time of need instead of just wringing your hands in despair.
I was very scared to do Istikhara when I got my first rishta. I really did not want to marry that guy. I wanted to marry the guy I loved but to be perfectly honest, I didn't know for sure if he was the right guy for me. But Alhamdulillah, everything worked out in my favor.
If your intentions are pure then you honestly have nothing to worry about. But if you don't feel comfortable doing Istikhara then that is your choice. I am just relating my own experience which was very similar to yours.
either im being real emo...but i seriously just got tears in my eyes reading this. I dont know it kinda reminded me of how much i prayed to work things out between the two of us. And, perhaps you are right i need to pray more and try to overcome every obstacle but its just that...i think everythings dishing on me at once. I wrote a blog last night...and i swear it was long and realllllllll frustrating...too many things going on at once. And, i guess this seems to be one of the most upcoming problems. So, yea...but yea...that sounded informative and very helpful. Be sure to pass more advice this way.

[gorjuzkuri]

don listen to this bitch , you and your boy are cute together plus you's are too young to be making such stupid decisions .. flow natural ran away with her paki ex and he dicted her ass for a someone else thts why she s being all that
i doubt thats true.

[gorjuzkuri]

no he wouldn't thats y i have to do it, and get disowned by my family :(
you shouldnt convert if you dont have your heart set on it. If he hadnt been there...then would u have converted?

[gorjuzkuri]

I read some posts and replies and trust me all these ways are shitty and not witty (can you feel the power of rhymes? ahan ahan?..you....see what I did was....I said shitty......and then .....ended the phrase with witty...like VOILA!!)
anyways, what you should do is... go to gmail and make a fake account and send link of this thread to HIS e-mail account. If he still don't mind and continue to pursue you, then please marry this guy because he got no shame and guys with no shame make PERFECT husbands I swear *touches his adams apple*

Otherwise he'll just call this "rishta" off and you can still wear you saris, go to concerts and the best part!! you don't have to worry about some RANDOM kid coming out of your legs anyday soon!

yay or nay?
yay...i was waiting for your response...
I dont know man...this isnt the only thing thats bothering me...like a lot of things are piling up and i dont know how to like fix things up. And, the stress is getting to me.

[gorjuzkuri]

just say that they are a nice family but your just not interested :dunno:, why would you need to lie or give some stupid excuse.. just tell em the truth.
because...it seems like a nice answer...but sometimes, parents get way too excited and think they see the best for you...and force you to go forth with things. Hammering you with good things about the person.

[keep_ya_head_up]

........

[flow-natural]

oh... but i seriously don't know what to do! i know i'm young, we ran away together at the weekend... his family wanted him back, so i went home for him, but i made my family promise that we could still see each other, my family have changed the rules now, i have to finish with him or i dont have any family... im not leaving him, i'm willing to convert... things r getting so serious that we have a councillor at uni... i tried to kill myself last night, i was desperate! i dont know what to do anymore :(


4 a guy

i pray 2 god on my bare knees that i will never have a daughter like you

fukin selfish thats wat u r

[gorjuzkuri]

So what's the word bird, how are things developing?
hmmm...things are pretty quiet...

they say...

"kamoshi aane wale toofan ka ishara hai!"

hell to the fucking yes...this is how it always works

[gorjuzkuri]

4 a guy

i pray 2 god on my bare knees that i will never have a daughter like you

fukin selfish thats wat u r
hey now...lets not be real mean lol

[gorjuzkuri]

oh... but i seriously don't know what to do! i know i'm young, we ran away together at the weekend... his family wanted him back, so i went home for him, but i made my family promise that we could still see each other, my family have changed the rules now, i have to finish with him or i dont have any family... im not leaving him, i'm willing to convert... things r getting so serious that we have a councillor at uni... i tried to kill myself last night, i was desperate! i dont know what to do anymore :(
Question: your parents took you back? My parents would have buried me.
Or, wait they would have spared themselves...and just thrown me out somewhere.

[-Ziad-]

no he wouldn't thats y i have to do it, and get disowned by my family :(lol. so this is what i have to face ahead, (similar situation), well it can never be too bad. and like everyone said you're way too young to be even contemplating about marriage or even love(yes love does not happen at 17 trust me, there has to be enough time and relationships in between to formulate. how long have you two been dating? take it easy if it's only been months. i dont even think about the future, just take one day at a time. whatever your parents say, don't argue or unleash your mouth on them, and whatever they say it's highly unlikely they'll disown you. parents always always come around, cause they sincerely want their kid's happiness even if it means it's not the "best" for them.

[flow-natural]

hey now...lets not be real mean lol

yeh is it

wud u like 2 have a sweetheart like nidhi 4 a daughter den

[-Nidhi-]

wow. intense
in my opinion, (i could be mistaken however), but i don't think your parents will just desert you. you are only a 17 year old girl, have you even finished high school? no matter what your parents are saying to you, or trying to get you to do, they won't leave you. i really dont think any parents that genuinely care about their children will kick them out at such a young age without any skills to fend for themselves.

do not run away with him again, this just shows your immaturity and nothing else. and don't try to self harm. this will not do anything except hurt your bf, your family, and yourself. in fact they will probably want to get rid of his influence so that you stop doing so. and not to mention, its very dangerous. sometimes passive rebellion is a better way.

talk to your guy about what he wants. if he's already giving into his family, and thinking about marrying another girl to appease them, then you really need to work things out. it shows that your relationship needs time to get stronger, and to grow.
yes i have finished high school ,im at uni now and me and my mum had a chat last night and she said... that shes not going to force me to leave him because the more she forces me away from him, the more shes forcing me away from herself... so i'm going to stay at home just now, finish uni, then we'll see what happens after uni, in 4 years...

[-Nidhi-]

you shouldnt convert if you dont have your heart set on it. If he hadnt been there...then would u have converted?
:think:





:no:

[-Nidhi-]

Question: your parents took you back? My parents would have buried me.
Or, wait they would have spared themselves...and just thrown me out somewhere.
yeah they took us back because they dont want to lose us

[flow-natural]

Question: your parents took you back? My parents would have buried me.
Or, wait they would have spared themselves...and just thrown me out somewhere.

LMAO haha

[-Nidhi-]

yeh is it

wud u like 2 have a sweetheart like nidhi 4 a daughter den
hmm :[

[flow-natural]

hmm :[


seriouisly girl

how can u choose a guy over ur family ?

dont they mean anything to you ?

your parents have how long to live ... 30 yrs maybe ?

i dont get girls like you

[-Nidhi-]

lol. so this is what i have to face ahead, (similar situation), well it can never be too bad. and like everyone said you're way too young to be even contemplating about marriage or even love(yes love does not happen at 17 trust me, there has to be enough time and relationships in between to formulate. how long have you two been dating? take it easy if it's only been months. i dont even think about the future, just take one day at a time. whatever your parents say, don't argue or unleash your mouth on them, and whatever they say it's highly unlikely they'll disown you. parents always always come around, cause they sincerely want their kid's happiness even if it means it's not the "best" for them.
i agree we are both young to be thinking about marriage, we didn't want to think about it until after uni, but then this situation occured... we've been together for 8 months, but we've known each other longer... i know, i don't argue with my parents, i try to agree with them but it's hard when all they think about is what the muslim/ hindu community will say and they don't think about our feelings

[-Nidhi-]

seriouisly girl

how can u choose a guy over ur family ?

dont they mean anything to you ?

your parents have how long to live ... 30 yrs maybe ?

i dont get girls like you

i know, i shouldn't chose my family over a guy, but i want them both... they forced us to split up back in march, we couldn't so we lied and still continued to see each other

[HeAvYmAcHiNeGuN]

So, people tell me if a family came with a proposal...and you wanted to compleletly reject the idiots...how would you do that?

Keeping in mind they are a good family, good guy, and everythings set. :(

let me tell u something gal
da families sendin proposals are NOT ACTUALLY IDIOTS
ur really lucky....i know alooot of gals...who are just waiting for a single proposal...they dont get even one
now comin back to da topic....u can just tell em dat u wanna go for higher studies....or u can directly talk to da guy...dat ur not mentally prepared

[vgirl]

yes i have finished high school ,im at uni now and me and my mum had a chat last night and she said... that shes not going to force me to leave him because the more she forces me away from him, the more shes forcing me away from herself... so i'm going to stay at home just now, finish uni, then we'll see what happens after uni, in 4 years...
good. your mum seems reasonable. 4 years is a long time, and i think at this stage with both of you being so young, you don't need to think too much about getting married/the future etc. just enjoy your time together, spend time together, strengthen your relationship etc and get through uni. once that happens, then you can put your relationship before your parents, and perhaps, their reaction will be different since you're older. goodluck.

[-Nidhi-]

good. your mum seems reasonable. 4 years is a long time, and i think at this stage with both of you being so young, you don't need to think too much about getting married/the future etc. just enjoy your time together, spend time together, strengthen your relationship etc and get through uni. once that happens, then you can put your relationship before your parents, and perhaps, their reaction will be different since you're older. goodluck.
yeah ur right, thanks :) and it was our choice to wait 4 years not our parents, we know we're far too young

[crayzee]

nidhi... its times like this when u need to make ur own thread instead of hijacking someone elses :p

[gorjuzkuri]

nidhi... its times like this when u need to make ur own thread instead of hijacking someone elses :p
lmao...i think its good...it goes with the whole point of the thread.

[gorjuzkuri]

yeah ur right, thanks :) and it was our choice to wait 4 years not our parents, we know we're far too young
you nodded no to my question...so, like...doesnt that make your decision wrong. And, please dont note me down as a critic. But, im just wondering...like if you wouldnt have done it if he wasnt there...then maybe you arent doing it for the right reason. Or, do you have the hope to grow interest in it?

[gorjuzkuri]

LMAO haha
no joke haha.
My parents told me that...the day you try running away...We will hunt you down and kill you...then kill ourselves then bury you.
Which kinda doesnt make sense...since theyll be dead too...
but it gets the point across haina?

[gorjuzkuri]

let me tell u something gal
da families sendin proposals are NOT ACTUALLY IDIOTS
ur really lucky....i know alooot of gals...who are just waiting for a single proposal...they dont get even one
now comin back to da topic....u can just tell em dat u wanna go for higher studies....or u can directly talk to da guy...dat ur not mentally prepared
lmao...we were actually googling for duas as to how to marry who you love...
and krishna from rd was helping me, she goes "i cant find anything on marrying who you love but maybe we can find a dua to avoid the rishtey?"
and, im like "hun, im pretty sure theres only duas as to HOW TO REEL IN A RISHTA, SINCE ALL THE GIRLS ARE ALWAYS CRYING OVER THAT"

[gorjuzkuri]

yeh is it

wud u like 2 have a sweetheart like nidhi 4 a daughter den
hmm...i actually resent strongly of having a girl like any of us...haha.
Do you blame me?

[crayzee]

lmao...i think its good...it goes with the whole point of the thread.
fair enough... :p

you nodded no to my question...so, like...doesnt that make your decision wrong. And, please dont note me down as a critic. But, im just wondering...like if you wouldnt have done it if he wasnt there...then maybe you arent doing it for the right reason. Or, do you have the hope to grow interest in it?fair point... but then again, maybe this was HOW its been written in nidhi's kismat? bear in mind that i've not put ANY pressure on her whatsoever to convert. maybe i was supposed to come into her life to trigger this? but then again maybe not. All i know is that no one can change the will of God. The fact of the matter is that nidhi wants to convert. i even told her early on in the relationship that i loved her for who she is, not for her religion and if it was up to me (as long as my kids were muslim) i wouldnt have a problem with her staying a hindu.

[crayzee]

hmm...i actually resent strongly of having a girl like any of us...haha.
Do you blame me?to be honest, no one wants a child like themselves because every single one of us has flaws. its only natural for us to want the perfect child, but chances are most of our kids will be just as bad as us, if not worse

[gorjuzkuri]

fair enough... :p

fair point... but then again, maybe this was HOW its been written in nidhi's kismat? bear in mind that i've not put ANY pressure on her whatsoever to convert. maybe i was supposed to come into her life to trigger this? but then again maybe not. All i know is that no one can change the will of God. The fact of the matter is that nidhi wants to convert. i even told her early on in the relationship that i loved her for who she is, not for her religion and if it was up to me (as long as my kids were muslim) i wouldnt have a problem with her staying a hindu.

no no i dont say that you pressured her at all. In fact, my aunt shes i think sikh. So, its weird...but i guess it works. And, it may of been kismat...and, i strongly (STRONGLY) believ