Serious Discussion on desi parents

[One-N-Only]

Ok I am basically sharing this to see what other desi’s thinks around the world. Well I am 21 soon to be 22 and few weeks ago my parents started this whole thing of getting married and now that’s all that goes on during breakfast. Dinner and lunch. I hardly talk to them about anything and ever since I found out that this was going on I spoke to my mom who was like oh I have to get you married soon or later so this year when we go back to Pakistan I am going to say “yes” to who I think is right. My father fucking idiot who I spoke to yesterday said I am getting married in the family and no matter what his going to choose the person I have to marry. I did ask why you don’t think it’s important for me to know them and he goes do you think I am going to date someone before that. On top of all this they are taking me to Pakistan this June I just started a great job and I know for sure they won’t give me 6 weeks off but my parents don’t want to hear anything. Oh and hear this on top of all this they go if we go and if we find someone right we are going to get you engaged and then go back after a year and have you married off I told them a lot can happen in one year and he goes like what your going to get married to black white etc. at the end he goes since your telling me all this about a lot happening in one year I am not going to trust you anymore.


So I would just want to know what you think I should do about this situation.

I thought of running away but then he said if he ever thinks I am doing something that I shouldn’t his going to do something that no one ever have done.

On top of all this he said I can NOT marry a Pakistani muslim here in the United States it has to be in the family.


Tell me what you would do.

[Spiky]

Ok I am basically sharing this to see what other desi’s thinks around the world. Well I am 21 soon to be 22 and few weeks ago my parents started this whole thing of getting married and now that’s all that goes on during breakfast. Dinner and lunch. I hardly talk to them about anything and ever since I found out that this was going on I spoke to my mom who was like oh I have to get you married soon or later so this year when we go back to Pakistan I am going to say “yes” to who I think is right. My father fucking idiot who I spoke to yesterday said I am getting married in the family and no matter what his going to choose the person I have to marry. I did ask why you don’t think it’s important for me to know them and he goes do you think I am going to date someone before that. On top of all this they are taking me to Pakistan this June I just started a great job and I know for sure they won’t give me 6 weeks off but my parents don’t want to hear anything. Oh and hear this on top of all this they go if we go and if we find someone right we are going to get you engaged and then go back after a year and have you married off I told them a lot can happen in one year and he goes like what your going to get married to black white etc. at the end he goes since your telling me all this about a lot happening in one year I am not going to trust you anymore.


So I would just want to know what you think I should do about this situation.

I thought of running away but then he said if he ever thinks I am doing something that I shouldn’t his going to do something that no one ever have done.

On top of all this he said I can NOT marry a Pakistani muslim here in the United States it has to be in the family.


Tell me what you would do.


Awesome....This is why I love Paki couples. Nothing as sexy as an incestual couple.

[mp3]

Parents know best

[Spiky]

BTW, Ask Khanbaba_....All he needs is your MSN. And he will tell you what you should do. Good guy.

[*trinidelite*]

cry, im sorry... just tell them how u feel n if they force u, ur grown, u say u have a good job, be prepared to take care of urself.... life is hard and we all have to do things we may not want to so whichever u want more is upto u

[mp3]

BTW, Ask Khanbaba_....All he needs is your MSN. And he will tell you what you should do. Good guy.

:rofl:

[One-N-Only]

cry, im sorry... just tell them how u feel n if they force u, ur grown, u say u have a good job, be prepared to take care of urself.... life is hard and we all have to do things we may not want to so whichever u want more is upto u


I thought of that but where am i gonna go because of my father i lost all my friends his so strict like i can't even go out.

I cried it doesn't work

i mean imagine getting engaged to someone you never met or seen and then going back to marry them someone you dont have feelings for.

[One-N-Only]

Parents know best

I am sure they know best until they force you to do things i mean all my fucking life i did things to make them happy and now i have to let them make decisions on who i have to spend rest of my life with.

[Nilomi <3]

why in the family ?

[One-N-Only]

why in the family ?

because they think if anything happens after being married the guy won't leave me because we would be related and i told my mother that i am simply going to leave him once he gets here.

[mp3]

I am sure they know best until they force you to do things i mean all my fucking life i did things to make them happy and now i have to let them make decisions on who i have to spend rest of my life with.

Dont do stupid things like running off. Try and speak to them or get another family member to explain the situation

[Spiky]

because they think if anything happens after being married the guy won't leave me because we would be related and i told my mother that i am simply going to leave him once he gets here.


what if he already is married to 3 wives and has 8 kids in Pakistan.....GOD, you could make shit ton of money making a 5 some video :naughty:

[Spiky]

or you could spice things up and throw one of his kids along in the equation aswell :rishi:

[Fallen-Angel]

damn man. its ok my parents are really strict so i know how it is. Thing is your gonna marry this guy not your family. If you gotto act like a kid n refuse to go pakistan or turn up to get engaged or whatever then do it. or say to them they can either allow the engagement or be prepared for a divorce within the first yr. whatever you do , dont give in unless you feel your gonna make it work

ive sene it happen, where my mate was too afraid to say anything, got married and spent the next 5 yrs in england while her "hubby" is in pak. Such a waste, she hates him, is never planning to have kids with him n despite whats happened her rents turned a blind eye to it.

so if you want your freedom and the chance to get married happily or to someone you want to get married to, then ur gonna have to fight for it. either that or ull spend the rest of ur yrs reretting it

[bad_cheque]

I am sorry see that.

A lot of arranged marriages are not working out especially from the girl's perspective. Parents no longer know best because in our fragmented societies you cannot find out what the prospective bride/groom is upto.

Hope for the best.

[mp3]

damn man. its ok my parents are really strict so i know how it is. Thing is your gonna marry this guy not your family. If you gotto act like a kid n refuse to go pakistan or turn up to get engaged or whatever then do it. or say to them they can either allow the engagement or be prepared for a divorce within the first yr. whatever you do , dont give in unless you feel your gonna make it work

ive sene it happen, where my mate was too afraid to say anything, got married and spent the next 5 yrs in england while her "hubby" is in pak. Such a waste, she hates him, is never planning to have kids with him n despite whats happened her rents turned a blind eye to it.

so if you want your freedom and the chance to get married happily or to someone you want to get married to, then ur gonna have to fight for it. either that or ull spend the rest of ur yrs reretting it


Stop putting ideas into silly girls heads.

[Fallen-Angel]

Stop putting ideas into silly girls heads.

well she asked what she should and posted on a forum, shes not looking for "awws and i feel sorry for you"

[One-N-Only]

what if he already is married to 3 wives and has 8 kids in Pakistan.....GOD, you could make shit ton of money making a 5 some video :naughty:


The guy is not married and on top of this he only completed High School.

[ssjasper2003]

My parents had a court marriage so thank god they wouldnt force me into anything.

Well tell your parents you dont want to marry a relative. There has to be a family friend or something that they might agree to.

If not just move out if you really dont want to get married. Hell if I was you I would if I had substantial amount of $ to make it till they calm the fuck down about it.

[bad_cheque]

Stop putting ideas into silly girls heads.
No man! It's different for girls.

It's better for them to get to know someone well or their parents should put a lot of effort in doing that. Here they are talking about simply forcing her with some guy. That's not on.

[Spiky]

The guy is not married and on top of this he only completed High School.

:rofl: :rofl: :neutral:

But, maybe he is rich? Imagine all the fun you could have...teaching him the american ways, fuck he could be your boytoy? :dunno:

[One-N-Only]

Dont do stupid things like running off. Try and speak to them or get another family member to explain the situation


Well running away would be my last option but you have no idea what i am going through this is why your saying not to run away.


Put yourself in my position for few minutes and see what you would do where your parents are forceing you to leave this great job so you can go back home and once someone comes asking for you they decide without asking you anything and then get you engaged and have you get married after a year. imagine meeting someone else in that one whole year then what huh.

[mp3]

No man! It's different for girls.

It's better for them to get to know someone well or their parents should put a lot of effort in doing that. Here they are talking about simply forcing her with some guy. That's not on.


I know I am just mucking around. Forcing is not a good idea. I suggest they talk about this or she asks someone to do it on her behalf

[bad_cheque]

The guy is not married and on top of this he only completed High School.
I can understand if a stupid idiot girl wants to marry a guy like that. It happens.

Don't your parents want to move up in life?

Or am I asking this because I am a Malu Nair and we give too much importance to girls? Am I right or are your parents right? Hmm!

[One-N-Only]

The same goes with love marriages. Relationships in general today are just messed up behind the surface.

Atleast you get to choose who you want to be with.

[Spiky]

OK....Fine. Me being all nice and humane and considerate and super sexy.....am ready to become your best friend so that you can run away from your parents house and stay with me till however long you want....provided I see your pictures first :rishi:

[krazii aqqie]

erm. move out. :idea: if you have a great job and you're 21, move out.

[One-N-Only]

I know I am just mucking around. Forcing is not a good idea. I suggest they talk about this or she asks someone to do it on her behalf

i have talked to them and he goes no matter what your getting married in the family and your mother and i are the one's picking who your going to marry.

[One-N-Only]

erm. move out. :idea: if you have a great job and you're 21, move out.

yea sure move out he sure will kill me

[bad_cheque]

The same goes with love marriages. Relationships in general today are just messed up behind the surface.
There are two things in this. When you spend time with someone, you start seeing the good and bad aspects. Stories from the past start popping up. At the end of it you can decide what you want.

In arranged marriages, everything happens after the fact. After that only divorce is the option and that is a big deal. So I see these couples living together just baring with each other. Pretty sad.

[One-N-Only]

OK....Fine. Me being all nice and humane and considerate and super sexy.....am ready to become your best friend so that you can run away from your parents house and stay with me till however long you want....provided I see your pictures first :rishi:


Thanx

[bad_cheque]

Yes, but in the end that doesn't matter once your relationship gets fucked up or you find out that your spouse is a child molestor or a habitual cheater.

There are some cases where people didn't like each other initially, but then fell in love after marriage. :dunno:
Yeah that also happens.

I guess an open mind and some tolerance is good.

[5jabi420]

daum dude..that sucks
maybe you should try giving them some examples..? of arranged marriges that didn't work out?
try putting your foot down..your parents honestly CAN'T force you into a marrige..after all..its you who has to sign the papers..

[your_mom]

Ok I am basically sharing this to see what other desi’s thinks around the world. Well I am 21 soon to be 22 and few weeks ago my parents started this whole thing of getting married and now that’s all that goes on during breakfast. Dinner and lunch. I hardly talk to them about anything and ever since I found out that this was going on I spoke to my mom who was like oh I have to get you married soon or later so this year when we go back to Pakistan I am going to say “yes” to who I think is right. My father fucking idiot who I spoke to yesterday said I am getting married in the family and no matter what his going to choose the person I have to marry. I did ask why you don’t think it’s important for me to know them and he goes do you think I am going to date someone before that. On top of all this they are taking me to Pakistan this June I just started a great job and I know for sure they won’t give me 6 weeks off but my parents don’t want to hear anything. Oh and hear this on top of all this they go if we go and if we find someone right we are going to get you engaged and then go back after a year and have you married off I told them a lot can happen in one year and he goes like what your going to get married to black white etc. at the end he goes since your telling me all this about a lot happening in one year I am not going to trust you anymore.


So I would just want to know what you think I should do about this situation.

I thought of running away but then he said if he ever thinks I am doing something that I shouldn’t his going to do something that no one ever have done.

On top of all this he said I can NOT marry a Pakistani muslim here in the United States it has to be in the family.


Tell me what you would do.


I can understand your position. Though my parents aren't strict up the ass like yours, they are very conservative even though they've been living in the states for 15+ years.

I personally see no harm with arranged marriages, but ultimately I choose who I want to marry.

Try talking to your mom..desi mothers can be easier to break then the fathers.

[misspathani.]

Ok I am basically sharing this to see what other desi’s thinks around the world. Well I am 21 soon to be 22 and few weeks ago my parents started this whole thing of getting married and now that’s all that goes on during breakfast. Dinner and lunch. I hardly talk to them about anything and ever since I found out that this was going on I spoke to my mom who was like oh I have to get you married soon or later so this year when we go back to Pakistan I am going to say “yes” to who I think is right. My father fucking idiot who I spoke to yesterday said I am getting married in the family and no matter what his going to choose the person I have to marry. I did ask why you don’t think it’s important for me to know them and he goes do you think I am going to date someone before that. On top of all this they are taking me to Pakistan this June I just started a great job and I know for sure they won’t give me 6 weeks off but my parents don’t want to hear anything. Oh and hear this on top of all this they go if we go and if we find someone right we are going to get you engaged and then go back after a year and have you married off I told them a lot can happen in one year and he goes like what your going to get married to black white etc. at the end he goes since your telling me all this about a lot happening in one year I am not going to trust you anymore.


So I would just want to know what you think I should do about this situation.

I thought of running away but then he said if he ever thinks I am doing something that I shouldn’t his going to do something that no one ever have done.

On top of all this he said I can NOT marry a Pakistani muslim here in the United States it has to be in the family.


Tell me what you would do.


I have been in the exact same situation. I will pm you instead.

It's your choice. Either you please your parents and go ahead with things, or you stand up for yourself and find someone else who your parents will accept... DON'T argue with your parents, just listen to them. The more you talk back and fight, the worse it will get. I went through the same thing

[your_mom]

I have been in the exact same situation. I will pm you instead.

It's your choice. Either you please your parents and go ahead with things, or you stand up for yourself and find someone else who your parents will accept... DON'T argue with your parents, just listen to them. I went through the same thing


I agree. but there are better options then running away.

[*trinidelite*]

I thought of that but where am i gonna go because of my father i lost all my friends his so strict like i can't even go out.

I cried it doesn't work

i mean imagine getting engaged to someone you never met or seen and then going back to marry them someone you dont have feelings for.
my ex boyfriend and i broke up because of that problem. his parents want him to marry who they want n u know, he has to make them happy... it sucks, but to some people they really see it differently. i understand that ur parents love u, thats y they want u to marry who they choose because they think its best for u in the end and u want to please them because they are ur parents but, if they love u, they will listen to u if u speak to them rationally, they may get mad or angry at first but i dunno, keep pushing it and show that u can take care of urself...

[mp3]

i have talked to them and he goes no matter what your getting married in the family and your mother and i are the one's picking who your going to marry.

Well maybe they want this because they know family members well. Dont you have good family friends, maybe you might find a good match there

[bad_cheque]

One-N-Only, how much education do you have?

.

[ewwwww]

One of the things I have learned in life is to never give up your career for a man, esp a man u hv'nt met & dont have feelings for.

You can get away from your parents, now that you have a job. Where do u live - uk or us?

[NinjaPanther]

I cant judge you nor your parents regarding this as I do not really know how pakistani marriages take place. What I do understand, being a non partial outsider to all this, is that nothing should be forced, specially on such a level where you have to spend the rest of your life with someone, you did not approve of.

It would seem that running away would be the easier option out of all this, with you being an adult and in a well accomodated job right now, but the point still being that they are your familty and this should be sorted out instead of running away.

Best option would be to try and make them understand how backward their thinking is, make them realize the importance of not letting this happen to you. As someone said, probably talking to your mother would result in some conclusion, if not, then you do have to talk to someone whom your parents listen to.

This is ridiculous and I still can not grasp the concept of marrying in family. Are parents these days only concerned with finishing off their duties as parents that they would rather have their daughters married off to any one, disregarding their background, education or even the wants of their own daughter? ... and here I thought this religion taught fairness and justice. Its really appalling to see that in this religion, women are still considered not worthy of their preferences or opinions.

I am not pointing fingers but all this is rather ridiculous.

If communication doesnt seem to get any results then, however harsh it may sound, you do have a life of your own, and you honestly have every right to make your own god damn decisions. I am sure you can survive alone in this world without your parent's guidance, and in return you would have your own life in your own control. Take an initiative. Inshallah, you'll be fine.

[Serendipity824]

Ok I am basically sharing this to see what other desi’s thinks around the world. Well I am 21 soon to be 22 and few weeks ago my parents started this whole thing of getting married and now that’s all that goes on during breakfast. Dinner and lunch. I hardly talk to them about anything and ever since I found out that this was going on I spoke to my mom who was like oh I have to get you married soon or later so this year when we go back to Pakistan I am going to say “yes” to who I think is right. My father fucking idiot who I spoke to yesterday said I am getting married in the family and no matter what his going to choose the person I have to marry. I did ask why you don’t think it’s important for me to know them and he goes do you think I am going to date someone before that. On top of all this they are taking me to Pakistan this June I just started a great job and I know for sure they won’t give me 6 weeks off but my parents don’t want to hear anything. Oh and hear this on top of all this they go if we go and if we find someone right we are going to get you engaged and then go back after a year and have you married off I told them a lot can happen in one year and he goes like what your going to get married to black white etc. at the end he goes since your telling me all this about a lot happening in one year I am not going to trust you anymore.


So I would just want to know what you think I should do about this situation.

I thought of running away but then he said if he ever thinks I am doing something that I shouldn’t his going to do something that no one ever have done.

On top of all this he said I can NOT marry a Pakistani muslim here in the United States it has to be in the family.


Tell me what you would do.
well m a rebellious person so if i were u i wudnt go to pakistan wat...so...ever. if they dont respect wat i want then i cant respect wat they want. not that i dont have respect for my parents. it's hard coz we grew up in diff generations and used to diff stuff. altho i understand their afraid u will pick, which to them wud b, the wrong person. maybe u shud try and talk to them again.

[boomchuck]

My parents are quite strict on a lot of things. But marriage is one thing they will never force. They would never forgive me for marrying within the family. It's not something I can see myself doing. I really don't have patience for most desis as it is.
One thing that I did to get my parents to relax their grip is to be mature. You know, no screaming, shouting, slamming doors, huffing, etc. Rationale does get through to them. Make a compromise, if that helps.. :)

[Serendipity824]

My parents are quite strict on a lot of things. But marriage is one thing they will never force. They would never forgive me for marrying within the family. It's not something I can see myself doing. I really don't have patience for most desis as it is.
One thing that I did to get my parents to relax their grip is to be mature. You know, no screaming, shouting, slamming doors, huffing, etc. Rationale does get through to them. Make a compromise, if that helps.. :)
i wish my mom was like that. dad is cool tho. :OK:

[misspathani.]

I agree. but there are better options then running away.


Running away? I never meant for him to think about doing that? :sarb:

[Sikh4Lyfe]

LOL @ your future bitch life. Sucks to be you *****, have fun with slavery.

[illin]

i cant tell what ur gender is, so im gona give you two answers

if your a guy: tell your parents to fuck off and do what you want

if your a girl: your fucked

[mp3]

i cant tell what ur gender is, so im gona give you two answers

if your a guy: tell your parents to fuck off and do what you want

if your a girl: your fucked

I thought it was a girl, as they always talk about things like running away. But could be a guy too.

[illin]

I thought it was a girl, as they always talk about things like running away. But could be a guy too.

yea thats what i figured too but i wasnt sure

[One-N-Only]

damn man. its ok my parents are really strict so i know how it is. Thing is your gonna marry this guy not your family. If you gotto act like a kid n refuse to go pakistan or turn up to get engaged or whatever then do it. or say to them they can either allow the engagement or be prepared for a divorce within the first yr. whatever you do , dont give in unless you feel your gonna make it work

ive sene it happen, where my mate was too afraid to say anything, got married and spent the next 5 yrs in england while her "hubby" is in pak. Such a waste, she hates him, is never planning to have kids with him n despite whats happened her rents turned a blind eye to it.

so if you want your freedom and the chance to get married happily or to someone you want to get married to, then ur gonna have to fight for it. either that or ull spend the rest of ur yrs reretting it


i would fight for it but i dont have anyone yet that i want to be with so they think if they dont get me married off now then no one is going to come to ask for me because all the guys in the family will be taken already.

[One-N-Only]

well she asked what she should and posted on a forum, shes not looking for "awws and i feel sorry for you"

thank you for understanding its so stupid people just coming out saying aww i fucking know i feel bad for myself.

[One-N-Only]

My parents had a court marriage so thank god they wouldnt force me into anything.

Well tell your parents you dont want to marry a relative. There has to be a family friend or something that they might agree to.

If not just move out if you really dont want to get married. Hell if I was you I would if I had substantial amount of $ to make it till they calm the fuck down about it.


They never allowed me to work a real job because he thought i had to work with other men and now i got this great job where i am really happy and stuff and they are going to make me quit and take me to pakistan.

[One-N-Only]

:rofl: :rofl: :neutral:

But, maybe he is rich? Imagine all the fun you could have...teaching him the american ways, fuck he could be your boytoy? :dunno:


His not rich and they haven't even asked for me properly but my parents told me when they do its going to be "yes" and even if he was rich i dont want his money or him.

[nayeemx33]

Marry the guy.

[larki_jatti]

tell your parents it is not islamically correct, and contact a local imam or some muslim community leader to mediate between you and your parents. They cannot make you marry anyone, according to Allah. Tell them that.

[One-N-Only]

There are two things in this. When you spend time with someone, you start seeing the good and bad aspects. Stories from the past start popping up. At the end of it you can decide what you want.

In arranged marriages, everything happens after the fact. After that only divorce is the option and that is a big deal. So I see these couples living together just baring with each other. Pretty sad.


Believe it or not i see it everyday with my parents because they think being divorced is a bad thing to the family.

[desi_uk]

just be a man

[larki_jatti]

btw, I know its a tough situation, but complaining won't help. You gotta think about the future, exactly how you want it to be, and let your parents know what you're thinking. Deep down, your happiness is the most important thing to your parents, its just that they think they know better what will make you happy. Bless parents.

[Fallen-Angel]

i would fight for it but i dont have anyone yet that i want to be with so they think if they dont get me married off now then no one is going to come to ask for me because all the guys in the family will be taken already.

yeh i get you, thing is though, theres plenty of people outside the family who would be willing to marry you, or who may find eventually. your still young. In a sense if u turn down this guy it'll eliminate the others in your family and then maybe your parents grudingly will be open to family friends or outsiders.
Just dont do the "compromise" marriage where you just remain as friends rather than husband and wife, its gonna be tough but if you have to move out then its gotto be done
dont do the running away n leave a note, tell them straight out your going to move out if they carry on like this.
desi parents care a lot what other people think, esp in the family theyd rather make out as if they turned it down or whatever then tell people their daughter no longer lives with them. For all you know they could get you married this summer, because you already been objecting to it, so to avoid further objection they might just get you married now. try and avoid going pak, there must be some friend, somebody who will help you, if u had to lose touch cos of your rents theyd understand

[One-N-Only]

Yes, but in the end that doesn't matter once your relationship gets fucked up or you find out that your spouse is a child molestor or a habitual cheater.

There are some cases where people didn't like each other initially, but then fell in love after marriage. :dunno:

i dont see myself being with someone without even knowing how old they are or what their house looks like or if they even know my name.

[One-N-Only]

daum dude..that sucks
maybe you should try giving them some examples..? of arranged marriges that didn't work out?
try putting your foot down..your parents honestly CAN'T force you into a marrige..after all..its you who has to sign the papers..


Well i also told my mom that i will say "NO" on the wedding day in front of everyone and she goes oh we will make sure they dont ask you for your permission and you will have to sign no matter what or you would know what will happen afterwards.

[One-N-Only]

I have been in the exact same situation. I will pm you instead.

It's your choice. Either you please your parents and go ahead with things, or you stand up for yourself and find someone else who your parents will accept... DON'T argue with your parents, just listen to them. The more you talk back and fight, the worse it will get. I went through the same thing


i am not fighting back but dont you think its my right to ask to know someone who i will have to spend rest of my life with?

[Fallen-Angel]

Well i also told my mom that i will say "NO" on the wedding day in front of everyone and she goes oh we will make sure they dont ask you for your permission and you will have to sign no matter what or you would know what will happen afterwards.

dont even go pak, ur rents seem pretty intent on you getting married no matter what. My friend said that to her parents n then they backed off cos they realized she was dead serious.

[One-N-Only]

my ex boyfriend and i broke up because of that problem. his parents want him to marry who they want n u know, he has to make them happy... it sucks, but to some people they really see it differently. i understand that ur parents love u, thats y they want u to marry who they choose because they think its best for u in the end and u want to please them because they are ur parents but, if they love u, they will listen to u if u speak to them rationally, they may get mad or angry at first but i dunno, keep pushing it and show that u can take care of urself...


easier said then done.

First of all i could take care of myself which they won't allow me to do because they know once i start doing that i would be independent which they would never allow me doing. i cant even call someone without their permission.

[One-N-Only]

One-N-Only, how much education do you have?

.


in college right now for my bachelors will be finished in october.

[One-N-Only]

One of the things I have learned in life is to never give up your career for a man, esp a man u hv'nt met & dont have feelings for.

You can get away from your parents, now that you have a job. Where do u live - uk or us?

United States.

[One-N-Only]

I cant judge you nor your parents regarding this as I do not really know how pakistani marriages take place. What I do understand, being a non partial outsider to all this, is that nothing should be forced, specially on such a level where you have to spend the rest of your life with someone, you did not approve of.

It would seem that running away would be the easier option out of all this, with you being an adult and in a well accomodated job right now, but the point still being that they are your familty and this should be sorted out instead of running away.

Best option would be to try and make them understand how backward their thinking is, make them realize the importance of not letting this happen to you. As someone said, probably talking to your mother would result in some conclusion, if not, then you do have to talk to someone whom your parents listen to.

This is ridiculous and I still can not grasp the concept of marrying in family. Are parents these days only concerned with finishing off their duties as parents that they would rather have their daughters married off to any one, disregarding their background, education or even the wants of their own daughter? ... and here I thought this religion taught fairness and justice. Its really appalling to see that in this religion, women are still considered not worthy of their preferences or opinions.

I am not pointing fingers but all this is rather ridiculous.

If communication doesnt seem to get any results then, however harsh it may sound, you do have a life of your own, and you honestly have every right to make your own god damn decisions. I am sure you can survive alone in this world without your parent's guidance, and in return you would have your own life in your own control. Take an initiative. Inshallah, you'll be fine.


Thank you i guess i will try and speak to my mom but then again if my mom takes my side then my father won't even bother asking her he will just do what he thinks is right.

[One-N-Only]

Running away? I never meant for him to think about doing that? :sarb:


i am not a GUY!

[One-N-Only]

I thought it was a girl, as they always talk about things like running away. But could be a guy too.


i am a girl cant you see i said HIM like 10 thousand times already.

[One-N-Only]

tell your parents it is not islamically correct, and contact a local imam or some muslim community leader to mediate between you and your parents. They cannot make you marry anyone, according to Allah. Tell them that.


i tried saying that and you know what i got in return "oh your out of control this is what this country does to desi girls like you"

[paki_canadian20]

Dont u have any relatives or elders who u can talk to and ask them to help u out and try talk to ur parents about the situation

[mp3]

i am a girl cant you see i said HIM like 10 thousand times already.

Then i suggest that your dad gets you on that plane before you try anything clever

[One-N-Only]

dont even go pak, ur rents seem pretty intent on you getting married no matter what. My friend said that to her parents n then they backed off cos they realized she was dead serious.

Well with my parents it doesn't work if i told them i am not going then they will be like oh we are taking your passport and now your gonna live their forever little things like not wearing the clothes they want us to wear makes my father send us back home.

[One-N-Only]

btw, I know its a tough situation, but complaining won't help. You gotta think about the future, exactly how you want it to be, and let your parents know what you're thinking. Deep down, your happiness is the most important thing to your parents, its just that they think they know better what will make you happy. Bless parents.


With my parents nothing nothing at all helps they are fucking idiots.

[boomchuck]

i wish my mom was like that. dad is cool tho. :OK:

I was rather surprised that they took it so well. But then again, hehe, my family is a bit odd. Never went for the whole cousin marriages. They did say, that they'd have to approve and I was like, DUH.. :)

[mp3]

With my parents nothing nothing at all helps they are fucking idiots.

language like that wont help will it

[boomchuck]

i tried saying that and you know what i got in return "oh your out of control this is what this country does to desi girls like you"

She has a really good point there. You should call them yourself, and explain whats going on. I'd do it as soon as possible before this escalates even more.

[One-N-Only]

yeh i get you, thing is though, theres plenty of people outside the family who would be willing to marry you, or who may find eventually. your still young. In a sense if u turn down this guy it'll eliminate the others in your family and then maybe your parents grudingly will be open to family friends or outsiders.
Just dont do the "compromise" marriage where you just remain as friends rather than husband and wife, its gonna be tough but if you have to move out then its gotto be done
dont do the running away n leave a note, tell them straight out your going to move out if they carry on like this.
desi parents care a lot what other people think, esp in the family theyd rather make out as if they turned it down or whatever then tell people their daughter no longer lives with them. For all you know they could get you married this summer, because you already been objecting to it, so to avoid further objection they might just get you married now. try and avoid going pak, there must be some friend, somebody who will help you, if u had to lose touch cos of your rents theyd understand



My father told me if i turn this guy down then his gonna find anyone and have me married as he has a friend whose daughter is over 35 and not married cause when she was young she turned everyone down because of work and school and now her dad and my father talk so he tells him oh i am looking for anyone to have her married i made a mistake blah blah.


honestly i feel like an animal who has no say in anything that is happening in her life.

[Fallen-Angel]

Well with my parents it doesn't work if i told them i am not going then they will be like oh we are taking your passport and now your gonna live their forever little things like not wearing the clothes they want us to wear makes my father send us back home.

yeh all the more reason not to go. they cant drag you by your hair to pakistan. if your intent on not going, theirs nothing they can do cept emtionally blackmail you and what not, at the end of the day you have to willingly walk to the aiprot, willingly get on the plant. your dads not gonna pick you up and take you. and he knows that too.

[One-N-Only]

Then i suggest that your dad gets you on that plane before you try anything clever


another one

[mp3]

yeh all the more reason not to go. they cant drag you by your hair to pakistan. if your intent on not going, theirs nothing they can do cept emtionally blackmail you and what not, at the end of the day you have to willingly walk to the aiprot, willingly get on the plant. your dads not gonna pick you up and take you. and he knows that too.

Thats what you think. if there is a will there is a way. I bet her dad can get her there if he wants.

[mp3]

another one

Another what. Your dad has been to lenient in getting you internet.

[One-N-Only]

language like that wont help will it

well the way i am being treated thats what i have for them.

[One-N-Only]

yeh all the more reason not to go. they cant drag you by your hair to pakistan. if your intent on not going, theirs nothing they can do cept emtionally blackmail you and what not, at the end of the day you have to willingly walk to the aiprot, willingly get on the plant. your dads not gonna pick you up and take you. and he knows that too.



and he would make my life into hell where i would have to leave this country.

[paki_canadian20]

seriously why do ppl who make threads miss my posts :(

[One-N-Only]

Another what. Your dad has been to lenient in getting you internet.


yea right

[larki_jatti]

i tried saying that and you know what i got in return "oh your out of control this is what this country does to desi girls like you"
sounds like you definitely have done something in the past to lose your parents trust.

[One-N-Only]

seriously why do ppl who make threads miss my posts :(


miss your post where?

[larki_jatti]

She has a really good point there. You should call them yourself, and explain whats going on. I'd do it as soon as possible before this escalates even more.
:salut:

[One-N-Only]

sounds like you definitely have done something in the past to lose your parents trust.

Never ever done anything and they go oh we trust you and then he goes well what do you mean anything can happen in a year now we dont trust you.

[mp3]

well the way i am being treated thats what i have for them.

maybe all they should have for you is a place on the street. Have you forgot how you got to where you are. I'm not saying they are totally right but show some respect. Try and come to a suitable solution.

[larki_jatti]

With my parents nothing nothing at all helps they are fucking idiots.
ok now i see, you just want attention.

[boomchuck]

Never ever done anything and they go oh we trust you and then he goes well what do you mean anything can happen in a year now we dont trust you.

Lol my parents had a whole spiel on that once. Apparently the imam's daughter became a Christian, the whole community flipped, and my parents went a tad psycho for a while.. :neutral:

[Fallen-Angel]

and he would make my life into hell where i would have to leave this country.

well i guess its either listen to your parents and make them happy, or leave-move out and seperate yourself from them, and get on with what you want to do. its a shit situation seems lik your gonna have to make a sacrafice either way.

[boomchuck]

well the way i am being treated thats what i have for them.

Seriously, you don't know strict until you've met my parents. Even then, being mature and logical got through. It's how you act in situations like these that makes your parents minds up..

[paki_canadian20]

miss your post where?

# 74

[larki_jatti]

Lol my parents had a whole spiel on that once. Apparently the imam's daughter became a Christian, the whole community flipped, and my parents went a tad psycho for a while.. :neutral:
woah. poor imam. how is he and his family? im assuming they dont keep in touch with their daughter at all? Did she do it because she was in "love" with a Christian guy?

[One-N-Only]

maybe all they should have for you is a place on the street. Have you forgot how you got to where you are. I'm not saying they are totally right but show some respect. Try and come to a suitable solution.



i would be the happiest person on this earth if they kick me out of this house.

Yea but then theirs a point in your life where you want some space to breath which i am not getting as each year i thought to myself oh make them happy do what they say and so on and now their making the biggest decision of my life dont you think i have some say about my life?

[mp3]

well i guess its either listen to your parents and make them happy, or leave-move out and seperate yourself from them, and get on with what you want to do. its a shit situation seems lik your gonna have to make a sacrafice either way.

Please dont take a job as a guidance counselor there are other solutions. Something in the middle

[One-N-Only]

ok now i see, you just want attention.


attention? ggge is that why your posting?

[mp3]

i would be the happiest person on this earth if they kick me out of this house.

Yea but then theirs a point in your life where you want some space to breath which i am not getting as each year i thought to myself oh make them happy do what they say and so on and now their making the biggest decision of my life dont you think i have some say about my life?


Of course you do. But dont jump to any silly decisions. Give it some time and try and find a suitable conclusion

[larki_jatti]

Seriously, you don't know strict until you've met my parents. Even then, being mature and logical got through. It's how you act in situations like these that makes your parents minds up..
lol this is turning into a "my parents are stricter", "na-uh, i swear man, mine are!" competition. hehe. my parents are strict as well, but very loving and religious. I know everything they inforce is for my benefit.

[Rcade]

Ok I am basically sharing this to see what other desi’s thinks around the world. Well I am 21 soon to be 22 and few weeks ago my parents started this whole thing of getting married and now that’s all that goes on during breakfast. Dinner and lunch. I hardly talk to them about anything and ever since I found out that this was going on I spoke to my mom who was like oh I have to get you married soon or later so this year when we go back to Pakistan I am going to say “yes” to who I think is right. My father fucking idiot who I spoke to yesterday said I am getting married in the family and no matter what his going to choose the person I have to marry. I did ask why you don’t think it’s important for me to know them and he goes do you think I am going to date someone before that. On top of all this they are taking me to Pakistan this June I just started a great job and I know for sure they won’t give me 6 weeks off but my parents don’t want to hear anything. Oh and hear this on top of all this they go if we go and if we find someone right we are going to get you engaged and then go back after a year and have you married off I told them a lot can happen in one year and he goes like what your going to get married to black white etc. at the end he goes since your telling me all this about a lot happening in one year I am not going to trust you anymore.


So I would just want to know what you think I should do about this situation.

I thought of running away but then he said if he ever thinks I am doing something that I shouldn’t his going to do something that no one ever have done.

On top of all this he said I can NOT marry a Pakistani muslim here in the United States it has to be in the family.


Tell me what you would do.

did you guys just move to U.S. a few yrs ago?

[boomchuck]

woah. poor imam. how is he and his family? im assuming they dont keep in touch with their daughter at all? Did she do it because she was in "love" with a Christian guy?

No, she went to a Baptist church up in New England somewhere for a year. Came back and was like, hey dad, i'm Christian now, bye! Never heard from her again lol.

[5jabi420]

once again dude..just stand up for yourself..
i've had a situation close to this...and i put my foot down..my mom knows that i'm not the type to get angry and throw a fit..at all
but..at the time, i told her...it my choice..or all hell was about to break loose...you need to make your parents realize, that its YOU who's going to have to deal with the aftermath of the marrige..not them. Allah na karey..but what if you get divorced? then what?...

[One-N-Only]

Of course you do. But dont jump to any silly decisions. Give it some time and try and find a suitable conclusion


i guess i would wait and see what happens maybe its for the best.

[Fallen-Angel]

Please dont take a job as a guidance counselor there are other solutions. Something in the middle
no no, of course you've already said something in the middle, but from what shes saying it doesnt seem like her parents are willing to listen. like she said she salready tried saying no, even threatening to say no on the wedding day. shes already said she doesnt want to and they seem to ignore what shes saying. so from that it seems like they're going to take her and get her married.
its jsut that ive sene parents like that, and lots of people say "talk to them" but they jsut dont listen, they've been in control soo long and dont want any different when it comes to marriage, of course itd be ideal if she go through to them and they said "ok fine."

[larki_jatti]

No, she went to a Baptist church up in New England somewhere for a year. Came back and was like, hey dad, i'm Christian now, bye! Never heard from her again lol.
omfg. I really feel for the Imam. Why did he let her go to a Church for a year? :|

[boomchuck]

lol this is turning into a "my parents are stricter", "na-uh, i swear man, mine are!" competition. hehe. my parents are strict as well, but very loving and religious. I know everything they inforce is for my benefit.

Yeah I trust my parents judgment ONLY because they aren't like most of the Paki parents around here who have not a clue what their kids are up to. Very aware of what teens are up to, but they know I need some space as well. Pfft. Tie me down, and I will flip out lol. So no blind trust here, they trust me to make my decisions because they really know what I'm like :D

[One-N-Only]

once again dude..just stand up for yourself..
i've had a situation close to this...and i put my foot down..my mom knows that i'm not the type to get angry and throw a fit..at all
but..at the time, i told her...it my choice..or all hell was about to break loose...you need to make your parents realize, that its YOU who's going to have to deal with the aftermath of the marrige..not them. Allah na karey..but what if you get divorced? then what?...


well if they pick the person you bet your ass i am getting divoced or we will act fake in front of people as being husband and wife and inside the house would be like thats your room and this is mine dont bother me and i wont bother you.

[boomchuck]

omfg. I really feel for the Imam. Why did he let her go to a Church for a year? :|

Sorry not church, I meant college lol.

[boomchuck]

well if they pick the person you bet your ass i am getting divoced or we will act fake in front of people as being husband and wife and inside the house would be like thats your room and this is mine dont bother me and i wont bother you.

Question. Why do they want to marry you off so bad?

[paki_canadian20]

did you guys just move to U.S. a few yrs ago?

i am guessing thats the case other wise her parents wouldnt be like that

[One-N-Only]

did you guys just move to U.S. a few yrs ago?

been here over like 20 years they been here for like over 20 years.

[5jabi420]

well if they pick the person you bet your ass i am getting divoced or we will act fake in front of people as being husband and wife and inside the house would be like thats your room and this is mine dont bother me and i wont bother you.


lolz..i wouldn't even go as far as to even get married
remember dude..you're the one who has the last say (as in your the one who signs the documents etc.)..sure your parents will be suuper pissed...but in the end, its definitely going to be worth it

[kool05]

first show some respect...callin ur dad wat u did...calm down...

2nd as cliche as it may sound parents know better
3rd after reading ur scenario all i can say is that your parents should ask you for the approval before going ahead n saying yes to the other party...i mean who ever they choose, you should be given a chance to spend some time with the fellow so that you can get to know him etc. after that it's all up to you

now if your parents won't let you do that than i am sorry...but like someone said...ask an adult from ur family to explain ur situation to ur parents that may help...

OR if you are simply not ready for marriage right now than it's better you ask ur elders to explain it to ur parents...

sorry if i was being rude...

[One-N-Only]

Question. Why do they want to marry you off so bad?


because they think after a year or so all the guys will be taken in the family and they would never ever get me married outside the family or its either now or not until they find another person in the family.

[One-N-Only]

first show some respect...callin ur dad wat u did...calm down...

2nd as cliche as it may sound parents know better
3rd after reading ur scenario all i can say is that your parents should ask you for the approval before going ahead n saying yes to the other party...i mean who ever they choose, you should be given a chance to spend some time with the fellow so that you can get to know him etc. after that it's all up to you

now if your parents won't let you do that than i am sorry...but like someone said...ask an adult from ur family to explain ur situation to ur parents that may help...

last sorry if i was being rude...



Your not being rude thank you for the advice.

[mp3]

no no, of course you've already said something in the middle, but from what shes saying it doesnt seem like her parents are willing to listen. like she said she salready tried saying no, even threatening to say no on the wedding day. shes already said she doesnt want to and they seem to ignore what shes saying. so from that it seems like they're going to take her and get her married.
its jsut that ive sene parents like that, and lots of people say "talk to them" but they jsut dont listen, they've been in control soo long and dont want any different when it comes to marriage, of course itd be ideal if she go through to them and they said "ok fine."

Well what is the solution, she leaves home, then ends up looking for this so called true love, marries some dead beat and then really does well for herself. Which self respecting lad wants to marry a girl whos parents dont want anything to do with her.

I suggest she find a solution at home. i dont know all the answers but seek guidance in allah and things will be made easier. Allah will make the path which is corrrect for you. may that be what you want or what your parents desire.

[boomchuck]

because they think after a year or so all the guys will be taken in the family and they would never ever get me married outside the family or its either now or not until they find another person in the family.

Why family? Why not some nice american paki if such a person exists guy? Has to be better than some guy from ze muzzerland

[**bambina**]

whatever u do, dont do anything you will regret.

do u have any older siblings? or any other family member u can talk to about this matter?

larki jatti = i dont agree that parents always do what benefits the child. they will always bring up a child or try to in such a way that all the good reflects on them. i know parents that have and are willing to disown their children over the choice of person they chose to marry. and sometimes religion isnt the issue.

[kool05]

Your not being rude thank you for the advice.

no problem
:D

i can understand where you are coming from...but i must add that your parents should be a little more open minded cuz the only way communication b/w parents n their kids is strong when both are allowed to voice their opinions/thoughts...

[Fallen-Angel]

Well what is the solution, she leaves home, then ends up looking for this so called true love, marries some dead beat and then really does well for herself. Which self respecting lad wants to marry a girl whos parents dont want anything to do with her.

I suggest she find a solution at home. i dont know all the answers but seek guidance in allah and things will be made easier. Allah will make the path which is corrrect for you. may that be what you want or what your parents desire.

im not saying she leave home to look for true love, im all for arranged marriages as long as the potentials get to meet each other before hand and get to know each other. this girl hasnt even had that chance, she knows jack shit about him except the fact hes barely educated. And they dont seem to care or understand this worry and uneasyness she has, as wel as the fact that she doesnt want to get married.
sometimes their isnt a solution at home, i know parents who say their kids are dead in their eyes if they take a single step against them even if the kids are right. Inshallah it wont come to that, but from what shes saying her parents seem very intent on her getting married.
speaking to an imam, a figure who theyd respect and listen to may be a good idea.

[kool05]

im not saying she leave home to look for true love, im all for arranged marriages as long as the potentials get to meet each other before hand and get to know each other. this girl hasnt even had that chance, she knows jack shit about him except the fact hes barely educated. And they dont seem to care or understand this worry and uneasyness she has, as wel as the fact that she doesnt want to get married.
sometimes their isnt a solution at home, i know parents who say their kids are dead in their eyes if they take a single step against them even if the kids are right. Inshallah it wont come to that, but from what shes saying her parents seem very intent on her getting married.
speaking to an imam, a figure who theyd respect and listen to may be a good idea.

well said on ur last sentence...even i'd suggest that or like granparents if they favor you

[mp3]

im not saying she leave home to look for true love, im all for arranged marriages as long as the potentials get to meet each other before hand and get to know each other. this girl hasnt even had that chance, she knows jack shit about him except the fact hes barely educated. And they dont seem to care or understand this worry and uneasyness she has, as wel as the fact that she doesnt want to get married.
sometimes their isnt a solution at home, i know parents who say their kids are dead in their eyes if they take a single step against them even if the kids are right. Inshallah it wont come to that, but from what shes saying her parents seem very intent on her getting married.
speaking to an imam, a figure who theyd respect and listen to may be a good idea.


Well said she needs guidance. Only she knows if her parents are the type to come round.

[mp3]

http://pnews.org/ArT/ExP/HoN.gif

[boomchuck]

http://pnews.org/ArT/ExP/HoN.gif

:no:

[Upsidedowndesi]

best thing i would suggest (sure others have said too) is try talking it out... best you can, but in the end it all comes down to what is more important to you? Your familys' heritage or your life? Only you are gonna make that desicion...no one else here is. Saying is a lot easier than steppin in one's shoes and then looking at things from their prospective. Make a desicion you are gonna be happy with......

[mp3]

:no:

http://www.israelnewsradio.net/images/honor-killing.jpg

[desi_playa]

your parents are kinda wierd. let me guess they came to amrika straight out of some pind in pakistan.

[boomchuck]

your parents are kinda wierd. let me guess they came to amrika straight out of some pind in pakistan.

:werd:

[NYC101]

Ok I am basically sharing this to see what other desi’s thinks around the world. Well I am 21 soon to be 22 and few weeks ago my parents started this whole thing of getting married and now that’s all that goes on during breakfast. Dinner and lunch. I hardly talk to them about anything and ever since I found out that this was going on I spoke to my mom who was like oh I have to get you married soon or later so this year when we go back to Pakistan I am going to say “yes” to who I think is right. My father fucking idiot who I spoke to yesterday said I am getting married in the family and no matter what his going to choose the person I have to marry. I did ask why you don’t think it’s important for me to know them and he goes do you think I am going to date someone before that. On top of all this they are taking me to Pakistan this June I just started a great job and I know for sure they won’t give me 6 weeks off but my parents don’t want to hear anything. Oh and hear this on top of all this they go if we go and if we find someone right we are going to get you engaged and then go back after a year and have you married off I told them a lot can happen in one year and he goes like what your going to get married to black white etc. at the end he goes since your telling me all this about a lot happening in one year I am not going to trust you anymore.


So I would just want to know what you think I should do about this situation.

I thought of running away but then he said if he ever thinks I am doing something that I shouldn’t his going to do something that no one ever have done.

On top of all this he said I can NOT marry a Pakistani muslim here in the United States it has to be in the family.


Tell me what you would do.

Be sure to post up the wedding pics on RD like rest of the idiots do.

[desi_playa]

:werd:


i need to have a talk with her dad.

[paki_canadian20]

i need to have a talk with her dad.
he will get u married with some random girl too so save urself some trouble

[boomchuck]

i need to have a talk with her dad.

Haha you do that :dance3:

[Fight_Tibet]

Ok I am basically sharing this to see what other desi’s thinks around the world. Well I am 21 soon to be 22 and few weeks ago my parents started this whole thing of getting married and now that’s all that goes on during breakfast. Dinner and lunch. I hardly talk to them about anything and ever since I found out that this was going on I spoke to my mom who was like oh I have to get you married soon or later so this year when we go back to Pakistan I am going to say “yes” to who I think is right. My father fucking idiot who I spoke to yesterday said I am getting married in the family and no matter what his going to choose the person I have to marry. I did ask why you don’t think it’s important for me to know them and he goes do you think I am going to date someone before that. On top of all this they are taking me to Pakistan this June I just started a great job and I know for sure they won’t give me 6 weeks off but my parents don’t want to hear anything. Oh and hear this on top of all this they go if we go and if we find someone right we are going to get you engaged and then go back after a year and have you married off I told them a lot can happen in one year and he goes like what your going to get married to black white etc. at the end he goes since your telling me all this about a lot happening in one year I am not going to trust you anymore.


So I would just want to know what you think I should do about this situation.

I thought of running away but then he said if he ever thinks I am doing something that I shouldn’t his going to do something that no one ever have done.

On top of all this he said I can NOT marry a Pakistani muslim here in the United States it has to be in the family.


Tell me what you would do.
Thats why people should move out of their parents house once they hit 18.
Anyways..are you able to support yourself? Or are you still living off your parents. If you can earn your own livelihood then you have the right to make your own decisions. Learn to speak your mind. Communicate but not in a confrontational way. If they get dictatorial then move out.
At the end of the day..no matter what your parents say or do, know that they're only doing it cos they truly think its for your best. Blinded by their love, sometimes they dont see what it is their children really want or waht would really make them happy.
Things might get sour for a while once you speak your mind..but they will eventually come around and realize that its your happiness that matters. To cut a long story short, dont stop loving them just cos you wish for different things at this point in life.

[UnevenButtocks]

Ok I am basically sharing this to see what other desi’s thinks around the world. Well I am 21 soon to be 22 and few weeks ago my parents started this whole thing of getting married and now that’s all that goes on during breakfast. Dinner and lunch. I hardly talk to them about anything and ever since I found out that this was going on I spoke to my mom who was like oh I have to get you married soon or later so this year when we go back to Pakistan I am going to say “yes” to who I think is right. My father fucking idiot who I spoke to yesterday said I am getting married in the family and no matter what his going to choose the person I have to marry. I did ask why you don’t think it’s important for me to know them and he goes do you think I am going to date someone before that. On top of all this they are taking me to Pakistan this June I just started a great job and I know for sure they won’t give me 6 weeks off but my parents don’t want to hear anything. Oh and hear this on top of all this they go if we go and if we find someone right we are going to get you engaged and then go back after a year and have you married off I told them a lot can happen in one year and he goes like what your going to get married to black white etc. at the end he goes since your telling me all this about a lot happening in one year I am not going to trust you anymore.


So I would just want to know what you think I should do about this situation.

I thought of running away but then he said if he ever thinks I am doing something that I shouldn’t his going to do something that no one ever have done.

On top of all this he said I can NOT marry a Pakistani muslim here in the United States it has to be in the family.


Tell me what you would do.

can you explain what that means? Tell me that's not a threat to your wellbeing...

[urbannomad23]

Ok I am basically sharing this to see what other desi’s thinks around the world. Well I am 21 soon to be 22 and few weeks ago my parents started this whole thing of getting married and now that’s all that goes on during breakfast. Dinner and lunch. I hardly talk to them about anything and ever since I found out that this was going on I spoke to my mom who was like oh I have to get you married soon or later so this year when we go back to Pakistan I am going to say “yes” to who I think is right. My father fucking idiot who I spoke to yesterday said I am getting married in the family and no matter what his going to choose the person I have to marry. I did ask why you don’t think it’s important for me to know them and he goes do you think I am going to date someone before that. On top of all this they are taking me to Pakistan this June I just started a great job and I know for sure they won’t give me 6 weeks off but my parents don’t want to hear anything. Oh and hear this on top of all this they go if we go and if we find someone right we are going to get you engaged and then go back after a year and have you married off I told them a lot can happen in one year and he goes like what your going to get married to black white etc. at the end he goes since your telling me all this about a lot happening in one year I am not going to trust you anymore.


So I would just want to know what you think I should do about this situation.

I thought of running away but then he said if he ever thinks I am doing something that I shouldn’t his going to do something that no one ever have done.

On top of all this he said I can NOT marry a Pakistani muslim here in the United States it has to be in the family.


Tell me what you would do.

lol.

you have it worse than me, or at least i think :sarb:

my parents started talking to the motherland when i was 18....and my first cuzin
:wtf:

my granny told me about, and told my parents i'd disown myself, if that ever occured.

[JOHNNY K-BAR]

can you explain what that means? Tell me that's not a threat to your wellbeing...
A lot of Paki peeps always resort to threats when they feel their child will not do as they are told....some actually act on it. In many cases many do not have what it takes to stand up to them or submit to the fear of reprecussions. It is always worse for the girls.

[UnevenButtocks]

A lot of Paki peeps always resort to threats when they feel their child will not do as they are told....some actually act on it. In many cases many do not have what it takes to stand up to them or submit to the fear of reprecussions. It is always worse for the girls.

Thanks:) that's what I figured too. So basically she has 2 choices, shut up, suck it up and go along with it, or get the fuck out of there before something happens to her at the hands of her own parents.



kamkamkamkam:cuddle:

[olive]

Ok I am basically sharing this to see what other desi’s thinks around the world. Well I am 21 soon to be 22 and few weeks ago my parents started this whole thing of getting married and now that’s all that goes on during breakfast. Dinner and lunch. I hardly talk to them about anything and ever since I found out that this was going on I spoke to my mom who was like oh I have to get you married soon or later so this year when we go back to Pakistan I am going to say “yes” to who I think is right. My father fucking idiot who I spoke to yesterday said I am getting married in the family and no matter what his going to choose the person I have to marry. I did ask why you don’t think it’s important for me to know them and he goes do you think I am going to date someone before that. On top of all this they are taking me to Pakistan this June I just started a great job and I know for sure they won’t give me 6 weeks off but my parents don’t want to hear anything. Oh and hear this on top of all this they go if we go and if we find someone right we are going to get you engaged and then go back after a year and have you married off I told them a lot can happen in one year and he goes like what your going to get married to black white etc. at the end he goes since your telling me all this about a lot happening in one year I am not going to trust you anymore.


So I would just want to know what you think I should do about this situation.

I thought of running away but then he said if he ever thinks I am doing something that I shouldn’t his going to do something that no one ever have done.

On top of all this he said I can NOT marry a Pakistani muslim here in the United States it has to be in the family.


Tell me what you would do.



god this just makes me so angry.....
why does god bless parents like this with children? and that too with girls.... its like from the moment they are blessed with daughters, they just wait for the day that they can get rid of them by marrying them off...

parents like this why the hell do they migrate overseas.... just go ahead and breed their small mindedness in their respective desilands.....

i really feel sad for you.... it does not sound like your parents love you enough to respect you and your wishes.... instead of being proud of a daughter is educated and employed.... they want you to be sold..... before the buyers run out....Absolutely PATHETIC...

how much support do you have? friends.... anyone who can just listen even if they cant help you?

[FlyDesiGrl]

Thanks:) that's what I figured too. So basically she has 2 choices, shut up, suck it up and go along with it, or get the fuck out of there before something happens to her at the hands of her own parents.



kamkamkamkam:cuddle:
The sad thing is, even if a daughter did escape before her parents laid hands on her..they would probably track her down eventually, and take action from there.

Desi parents have too much pride, reputations to uphold in the Desi community, and huge egos they are trying to protect. They aren't willing to sacrifice those three aspects for their childrens' happiness. It's rather sad.

[olive]

The sad thing is, even if a daughter did escape before her parents laid hands on her..they would probably track her down eventually, and take action from there.

Desi parents have too much pride, reputations to uphold in the Desi community, and huge egos they are trying to protect. They aren't willing to sacrifice those three aspects for their childrens' happiness. It's rather sad.


precisely... the fact that parents think more about their egos, prides and reputations than their childs happiness... makes me sick.

in my mind they dont deserve to be parents.... hearing stories like this just me appreciate and love my parents more...

[FlyDesiGrl]

precisely... the fact that parents think more about their egos, prides and reputations than their childs happiness... makes me sick.

in my mind they dont deserve to be parents.... hearing stories like this just me appreciate and love my parents more...
I believe it's a result of how their OWN parents treated and raised them as kids. Some of our parents were raised back home in the Motherlands, and being in such places, their parents raised them to be traditional and uphold strict values in their lifestyles.

Therefore when our parents moved to the Western countries to provide a better life for us, we battle a conflict between Eastern and Western values and morals. We are raised to believe the Eastern way of life is right, yet we are surrounded by Western culture everyday.

Peer pressure and the need to fit in and conform to Western life puts a strain on kids these days. Parents do understand it, yet they choose to ignore it.

[PakPlaya69]

First of all learn to respect your parents , nothing in this world justify you abusing your parents anyways its a shame to read all that , its hard to believe all of that still happens specially in a country like UK , USA .. i think there is no point in you wasting your time on your parenst trying to talk about this issue, it would have been better if you had someone to runaway with but since you don i guess you just need to go back to PakiLand and look at your options , gusy in that bad there and you might meet someone you find interesting and sorta hit it off with else you can always tell the guy you are being poushed into all this and he ll be making a big mistake to take you as his wife or fionce ....

[olive]

I believe it's a result of how their OWN parents treated and raised them as kids. Some of our parents were raised back home in the Motherlands, and being in such places, their parents raised them to be traditional and uphold strict values in their lifestyles.

Therefore when our parents moved to the Western countries to provide a better life for us, we battle a conflict between Eastern and Western values and morals. We are raised to believe the Eastern way of life is right, yet we are surrounded by Western culture everyday.

Peer pressure and the need to fit in and conform to Western life puts a strain on kids these days. Parents do understand it, yet they choose to ignore it.

i agree, often its understood that parents want better for their children than they had...
but moving to a western country was their choice to provide better...... but why not have faith in that child that they raised that the child will do well and respect her wishes.... why look upon the whole daughter like she has a use by date.... if not married by then she will become useless.... very sad

[olive]

The vast majority of Desi parents are probably like that. They come from a collectivist culture.


shame on them .... seriously

[urbannomad23]

The vast majority of Desi parents are probably like that. They come from a collectivist culture.


yep, i can agree with that sort of. lol.

[shamel_ki_jaan]

Ok I am basically sharing this to see what other desi’s thinks around the world. Well I am 21 soon to be 22 and few weeks ago my parents started this whole thing of getting married and now that’s all that goes on during breakfast. Dinner and lunch. I hardly talk to them about anything and ever since I found out that this was going on I spoke to my mom who was like oh I have to get you married soon or later so this year when we go back to Pakistan I am going to say “yes” to who I think is right. My father fucking idiot who I spoke to yesterday said I am getting married in the family and no matter what his going to choose the person I have to marry. I did ask why you don’t think it’s important for me to know them and he goes do you think I am going to date someone before that. On top of all this they are taking me to Pakistan this June I just started a great job and I know for sure they won’t give me 6 weeks off but my parents don’t want to hear anything. Oh and hear this on top of all this they go if we go and if we find someone right we are going to get you engaged and then go back after a year and have you married off I told them a lot can happen in one year and he goes like what your going to get married to black white etc. at the end he goes since your telling me all this about a lot happening in one year I am not going to trust you anymore.


So I would just want to know what you think I should do about this situation.

I thought of running away but then he said if he ever thinks I am doing something that I shouldn’t his going to do something that no one ever have done.

On top of all this he said I can NOT marry a Pakistani muslim here in the United States it has to be in the family.


Tell me what you would do.

you should be effin slaped for saying that shyt :slap2:
what's wrong w/ u?!? did u even think TWICE b4 saying that shyt..:rolleyes:

regarding your question...parents know better then we do... they have been thru EVERYTHING that we're going thru now...
and NO parent would want anything worse for their kids...they're not gonna drain you down....instead..they would wanna see you reaching up to the sky!

[fireangel2007]

I would seriously do this:


get to the airport and throw a temper tantrum and that'll make them really mad at you...but atleast u won't have to get married

or

find a gay friend and pretend to be in love...make sure ur parents don't know hes gay

or

be like ur a lesbian....


something to kick them off

or even better yet...i dunno if u like the 'family' or not but i would seriously call the douchebags up and curse them out....trust me i've done that to pretty much more than half my dad's family b/c they're just a buncha assholes who want money all the time and give no respect...its really sad...

but honestly take into consideration what i said....its possible someone is making them do stuff like this by feeding them random stories....my parents know they can pick but as far as the final choice...its me...and family is a big effin NO...never...i can't staand either side of families....

[fireangel2007]

you should be effin slaped for saying that shyt :slap2:
what's wrong w/ u?!? did u even think TWICE b4 saying that shyt..:rolleyes:

regarding your question...parents know better then we do... they have been thru EVERYTHING that we're going thru now...
and NO parent would want anything worse for their kids...they're not gonna drain you down....instead..they would wanna see you reaching up to the sky!
i agree with you but everyone has a story, you can't assume that all is 'kabhi khushi kabhi gham'...sometimes esp in pakistani families its not as easy as saying 'dad im marrying this guy and you can't do anything about it...' its more like 'beta/beti you're marrying this guy/girl because i said so and all you can say is yes or we're disowning you....' some parents are strict...honestly back when i was younger my dad was MEAAANNn but over the years we've become friends and he still says that im picking someone for you and im like did you or did you not have a love marriage...and all hell breaks lose and i still win because he knows im right and he knows that this generation and time period is different...some parents don't understand that so im not saying shes right in calling her dad that...but its just anger on her behalf i bet....

[olive]

It's hard to change, because that's how they were brought up. They don't look at the individual, but they look at the family unit as a whole and that family unit automatically makes up the bigger picture of society. That's why reputation and social standing is so important, because the family unit is just one piece of the picture.

I don't know how to put their mindset in words, but I can see where they're coming from. But, there are negative consequences that result from this mentality.

i can see where they are coming from too... my mum was raised in a way that i cant imagine being raised.... yet my mum never imposed any of her parents ideals on me....
my biggest probem is that no matter what the reason be it them being from a different generation or raised differently..... NOTHING should stand in the way of your childs happiness....

then again you know... i suppose the blame also lies with our own generation... how many times do you hear parents saying 'oh you know so and sos daughter did everything her parents asked her to.... why cant you be more like that?"

as long as we desi kids... dont fight back and stand up for our own happiness this will continue.....

[L_A_X__addiction]

Ok I am basically sharing this to see what other desi’s thinks around the world. Well I am 21 soon to be 22 and few weeks ago my parents started this whole thing of getting married and now that’s all that goes on during breakfast. Dinner and lunch. I hardly talk to them about anything and ever since I found out that this was going on I spoke to my mom who was like oh I have to get you married soon or later so this year when we go back to Pakistan I am going to say “yes” to who I think is right. My father fucking idiot who I spoke to yesterday said I am getting married in the family and no matter what his going to choose the person I have to marry. I did ask why you don’t think it’s important for me to know them and he goes do you think I am going to date someone before that. On top of all this they are taking me to Pakistan this June I just started a great job and I know for sure they won’t give me 6 weeks off but my parents don’t want to hear anything. Oh and hear this on top of all this they go if we go and if we find someone right we are going to get you engaged and then go back after a year and have you married off I told them a lot can happen in one year and he goes like what your going to get married to black white etc. at the end he goes since your telling me all this about a lot happening in one year I am not going to trust you anymore.


So I would just want to know what you think I should do about this situation.

I thought of running away but then he said if he ever thinks I am doing something that I shouldn’t his going to do something that no one ever have done.

On top of all this he said I can NOT marry a Pakistani muslim here in the United States it has to be in the family.


Tell me what you would do.


Okay, not trying to be rude or anything but, did you skip fourth grade by any chance? The mastery of the use of commas and quotations marks? That was a freaking mess to read. I'm not sure what exactly is going on but I'm inferring that it's something to with the fact that you're getting forced to marry someone in Pakistan that is part of your family? I would just do it.

[shamel_ki_jaan]

i agree with you but everyone has a story, you can't assume that all is 'kabhi khushi kabhi gham'...sometimes esp in pakistani families its not as easy as saying 'dad im marrying this guy and you can't do anything about it...' its more like 'beta/beti you're marrying this guy/girl because i said so and all you can say is yes or we're disowning you....' some parents are strict...honestly back when i was younger my dad was MEAAANNn but over the years we've become friends and he still says that im picking someone for you and im like did you or did you not have a love marriage...and all hell breaks lose and i still win because he knows im right and he knows that this generation and time period is different...some parents don't understand that so im not saying shes right in calling her dad that...but its just anger on her behalf i bet....
anger or no anger...that doesn't justify anything on her be-half...
like she said..she's 21 almost 22 or whatever..by THIS time of age..she should know what kind of parents she has and it wouldn't make any difference... their words > hers
im not saying she SHOULD obey what her parents say (and not that there's anything wrong with it)..lehkin... arranged marriages are prefered....
the amount of divorce rates in this world are insane...and majority of em ARE love marriages!!

anywho.... over all point is that..there's NOTHING wrong with getting married to someone your parents pick for us!

[shamel_ki_jaan]

Okay, not trying to be rude or anything but, did you skip fourth grade by any chance? The mastery of the use of commas and quotations marks? That was a freaking mess to read. I'm not sure what exactly is going on but I'm inferring that it's something to with the fact that you're getting forced to marry someone in Pakistan that is part of your family? I would just do it.to DO with :lol:

[L_A_X__addiction]

to DO with :lol:


:kekeke: oops.

[shamel_ki_jaan]

:kekeke: oops.
it's ok..we all make mistakes! :hug:

[urbannomad23]

anger or no anger...that doesn't justify anything on her be-half...
like she said..she's 21 almost 22 or whatever..by THIS time of age..she should know what kind of parents she has and it wouldn't make any difference... their words > hers
im not saying she SHOULD obey what her parents say (and not that there's anything wrong with it)..lehkin... arranged marriages are prefered....
the amount of divorce rates in this world are insane...and majority of em ARE love marriages!!

anywho.... over all point is that..there's NOTHING wrong with getting married to someone your parents pick for us!


that is true for a girl of pakistani descent. its hard for her to say no. my aunt got married when she was 17. and to like a 3rd cousin that was like 30. or something...it was really strange but she is happily married now. so i guess they work out for the better. but what baffles me is, why would you send a girl to get married back in the motherland? it'd make more sense the other way around....i mean, they'd want whats best for her daughter right? a guy whose assimilated to the culture and feels comfortable with the guy. or do they wanna dump her in pk? some pakistanis are messed up in the noggin' while others follow tradition and custom.


just try your best to talk to them....or try and go after another university degree or something! who knows... :)

[BKnight]

Ok I am basically sharing this to see what other desi’s thinks around the world. Well I am 21 soon to be 22 and few weeks ago my parents started this whole thing of getting married and now that’s all that goes on during breakfast. Dinner and lunch. I hardly talk to them about anything and ever since I found out that this was going on I spoke to my mom who was like oh I have to get you married soon or later so this year when we go back to Pakistan I am going to say “yes” to who I think is right. My father fucking idiot who I spoke to yesterday said I am getting married in the family and no matter what his going to choose the person I have to marry. I did ask why you don’t think it’s important for me to know them and he goes do you think I am going to date someone before that. On top of all this they are taking me to Pakistan this June I just started a great job and I know for sure they won’t give me 6 weeks off but my parents don’t want to hear anything. Oh and hear this on top of all this they go if we go and if we find someone right we are going to get you engaged and then go back after a year and have you married off I told them a lot can happen in one year and he goes like what your going to get married to black white etc. at the end he goes since your telling me all this about a lot happening in one year I am not going to trust you anymore.


So I would just want to know what you think I should do about this situation.

I thought of running away but then he said if he ever thinks I am doing something that I shouldn’t his going to do something that no one ever have done.

On top of all this he said I can NOT marry a Pakistani muslim here in the United States it has to be in the family.


Tell me what you would do.


ta'da ..... I rest my case now........ :wavey:

your story sounds lame.....I have a feeling...that you must not be playing part of an Angel in this situation...there MUST be something fishy going on ....on your side...and thats why you parents took this mysterious but precautionary step.....

Tell us the whole story..and then we can judge.....

[PakPlaya69]

anger or no anger...that doesn't justify anything on her be-half...
like she said..she's 21 almost 22 or whatever..by THIS time of age..she should know what kind of parents she has and it wouldn't make any difference... their words > hers
im not saying she SHOULD obey what her parents say (and not that there's anything wrong with it)..lehkin... arranged marriages are prefered....
the amount of divorce rates in this world are insane...and majority of em ARE love marriages!!

anywho.... over all point is that..there's NOTHING wrong with getting married to someone your parents pick for us!


Seems like you are goin to PakiLand for sure ... is someone there???? someone who tickles your fancy

[desicandyshop]

just say "i dont" when molvie comes to you during the marriage

[shamel_ki_jaan]

that is true for a girl of pakistani descent. its hard for her to say no. my aunt got married when she was 17. and to like a 3rd cousin that was like 30. or something...it was really strange but she is happily married now. so i guess they work out for the better. but what baffles me is, why would you send a girl to get married back in the motherland? it'd make more sense the other way around....i mean, they'd want whats best for her daughter right? a guy whose assimilated to the culture and feels comfortable with the guy. or do they wanna dump her in pk? some pakistanis are messed up in the noggin' while others follow tradition and custom.


just try your best to talk to them....or try and go after another university degree or something! who knows... :)
well that's when the parents are wrong... leaving the chick in Pakistan.
but majority of the parents do consider it's better to bring someone back from their motherland...becuase i guess the guy would value the family/wife more and cuz of the fact he/she was raised in Pakistan :dunno:

[urbannomad23]

well that's when the parents are wrong... leaving the chick in Pakistan.
but majority of the parents do consider it's better to bring someone back from their motherland...becuase i guess the guy would value the family/wife more and cuz of the fact he/she was raised in Pakistan :dunno:


yeah, but i mean....could you fathom a north american girl being married to a desi guy? i can imagine it, but i know it'd be wierd. the girl would be totally distraught, wouldn't she? two different worlds.

[shamel_ki_jaan]

Seems like you are goin to PakiLand for sure ... is someone there???? someone who tickles your fancy
haha..i wouldn't mind...if thats what my parents prefer..i'm ok with it..

and hunnie..i haven't been back since i moved here (15 years) ..so NO i don't have anyone back their that i daydream about :p

how are u btw!?!?

[shamel_ki_jaan]

yeah, but i mean....could you fathom a north american girl being married to a desi guy? i can imagine it, but i know it'd be wierd. the girl would be totally distraught, wouldn't she? two different worlds.
i'm not sure how those that concept fit into her issue..
but anywho..yeah it would be a huge clash hence of being on totally 2 different sides of branchs...
but i guess people learn how to cope with one another

[shamel_ki_jaan]

just say "i dont" when molvie comes to you during the marriage
http://i45.photobucket.com/albums/f51/sumlina786/Mujhe_ki.gif > yours :p

[PakPlaya69]

haha..i wouldn't mind...if thats what my parents prefer..i'm ok with it..

and hunnie..i haven't been back since i moved here (15 years) ..so NO i don't have anyone back their that i daydream about :p

how are u btw!?!?

Wow thats a long time ... i think we have been back every 3 to 4 years as far as i can remember.

about me , heheh i don kno , RD is the only desi place and people i kno apart few paki mates from uni , so i guess it ll have to be PakiLand , see what kinda birds my mum comes up with hehehe :Pelvic2:

[shamel_ki_jaan]

Wow thats a long time ... i think we have been back every 3 to 4 years as far as i can remember.

about me , heheh i don kno , RD is the only desi place and people i kno apart few paki mates from uni , so i guess it ll have to be PakiLand , see what kinda birds my mum comes up with hehehe :Pelvic2:
birds?!? tsk tsk...
batameez ALI!!!

lool...
yeah but guess what..i'm going their AUG!!! :dance2:

let's see what kind of monkeys my parents pop up with :p

[Angel Frm Heaven]

I agree w/ you, you're not ready to get married...
Come on you still call your father a *beeping* idiot...

[PakPlaya69]

birds?!? tsk tsk...
batameez ALI!!!

lool...
yeah but guess what..i'm going their AUG!!! :dance2:

let's see what kind of monkeys my parents pop up with :p


lol@ monkeys . I don kno , my mum reckons she ll hook me up with someone there hehe she lives there now so its kinda easy for her , i am just excited about gettin to choose hahahha it ll be the funniest thing ever.

Well i bet the blokes in Karachi will lining up for you, any on the cards??

[shamel_ki_jaan]

lol@ monkeys . I don kno , my mum reckons she ll hook me up with someone there hehe she lives there now so its kinda easy for her , i am just excited about gettin to choose hahahha it ll be the funniest thing ever.

Well i bet the blokes in Karachi will lining up for you, any on the cards??
i actually do have couple of cards...and indeed..that would be FUNNY!!
:rofl:

i think im gonna end up rejecting EVERY single one of em :kekeke:

[PakPlaya69]

i actually do have couple of cards...and indeed..that would be FUNNY!!
:rofl:

i think im gonna end up rejecting EVERY single one of em :kekeke:

WHy is that????? you do realise i don see us going further than RD , don get your hopes high :p

[BKnight]

This is ridiculous and I still can not grasp the concept of marrying in family. Are parents these days only concerned with finishing off their duties as parents that they would rather have their daughters married off to any one, disregarding their background, education or even the wants of their own daughter? ... and here I thought this religion taught fairness and justice. Its really appalling to see that in this religion, women are still considered not worthy of their preferences or opinions.



Yo! Kung-fu-leopard... out of all these gay RD members...when you talk non-sense it hurts really bad..specially in the 3rd chamber of my heart.
This situation which she described is particularly CULTURAL and NOT religious situation. I am amazed how easily you came to this conclusion while repeatedly saying that you are not eligible to judge....In Islam parents can not force their daughters to marry some one which daughters did not approve of. Yes it happens some times in Pakistan but not in other Islamic countries. So "there" when you thought this religion taught fairness and justice you were right.

[2CoNfUsEd]

you should be effin slaped for saying that shyt :slap2:
what's wrong w/ u?!? did u even think TWICE b4 saying that shyt..:rolleyes:

regarding your question...parents know better then we do... they have been thru EVERYTHING that we're going thru now...
and NO parent would want anything worse for their kids...they're not gonna drain you down....instead..they would wanna see you reaching up to the sky!

LOL is this a fucking joke? if so.... LOL ROFL LMAFOOOO ADHKLHDk HAHAH KEKEKEKEKE HHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

[shamel_ki_jaan]

WHy is that????? you do realise i don see us going further than RD , don get your hopes high :p
pshh..i was talking about Shazi :hand:

haha JK!

ps..im heartbroken now :sad:

[shamel_ki_jaan]

LOL is this a fucking joke? if so.... LOL ROFL LMAFOOOO ADHKLHDk HAHAH KEKEKEKEKE HHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
no..but your "username" explains why u didn't think i was serious :p

[2CoNfUsEd]

ta'da ..... I rest my case now........ :wavey:

your story sounds lame.....I have a feeling...that you must not be playing a part of an Angel in this situation...there MUST be something fishy going on ....on your side...and thats why you parents took this mysterious but precautionary step.....

Tell us the whole story..and then we can judge.....

true.... there might be more.... but if not... then i guess her parents are truly fucking idiots. simple.

[PakPlaya69]

pshh..i was talking about Shazi :hand:

haha JK!

ps..im heartbroken now :sad:

I thought saida had hots for him hahahaha .. whats goin on people ??? did you find ou what happened yesterday ??????
Well heartbroken i am sorry but you don quiet meet my requirements hehehee :)

[schaxeb]

pshh..i was talking about Shazi :hand:

haha JK!

ps..im heartbroken now :sad:
whos heartbroken now missy?

[PakPlaya69]

whos heartbroken now missy?


Oooooooooo not the best time to make you entry bro .. how are ya???

[shamel_ki_jaan]

I thought saida had hots for him hahahaha .. whats goin on people ??? did you find ou what happened yesterday ??????
Well heartbroken i am sorry but you don quiet meet my requirements hehehee :)
im gonna find that out now!! lol

[shamel_ki_jaan]

whos heartbroken now missy?
ahem ahem...what's this THING i'm hearing about u and Sadia?!?!? :squint:

indeed i'm heartbroken NOW :sad:

[schaxeb]

Oooooooooo not the best time to make you entry bro .. how are ya???
my entrance is just like a bollywood movie right...
i'll leave if u want me to.

[shamel_ki_jaan]

Ali..what happened yesterday?!?

[PakPlaya69]

im gonna find that out now!! lol


I ain saying anything cause people think i am gossiping about them :)

[schaxeb]

I thought saida had hots for him hahahaha .. whats goin on people ??? did you find ou what happened yesterday ??????
Well heartbroken i am sorry but you don quiet meet my requirements hehehee :)
i thought she was with adnan...

[2CoNfUsEd]

no..but your "username" explains why u didn't think i was serious :p
cool. now can u come up with something witty next time? what's even funnier is that u probably thought u were original...amirite?

anywhoo... back on topic.... are u actually encouraging her ass backward parents? they maybe her parents but it doesnt mean that they cant make mistakes. they're human too...

[shamel_ki_jaan]

my entrance is just like a bollywood movie right...
i'll leave if u want me to.
i don't want u 2 leave..

my words > Ali's :D

[PakPlaya69]

my entrance is just like a bollywood movie right...
i'll leave if u want me to.

Hahahahah no way man glad you are here , so what happened after i left , sachi sachi

[shamel_ki_jaan]

I ain saying anything cause people think i am gossiping about them :)
PM :eyebrow:

[shamel_ki_jaan]

i thought she was with adnan...
who the hell is Adnan!??!? :sarb:

[PakPlaya69]

i thought she was with adnan...


Well i think it all changed yesterday ... when she said "I have SHahzi" not my words , just quoting from yesterday

[shamel_ki_jaan]

cool. now can u come up with something witty next time? what's even funnier is that u probably thought u were original...amirite?

anywhoo... back on topic.... are u actually encouraging her ass backward parents? they maybe her parents but it doesnt mean that they cant make mistakes. they're human too...
everyone is entitled to their own opinion..
noone is putting a gun to ur head and telling you to agree with me buddy!

[schaxeb]

Hahahahah no way man glad you are here , so what happened after i left , sachi sachi
sachi sachi... i dont think anything worth bein in the news... she still denies her relationship with him.

[shamel_ki_jaan]

Well i think it all changed yesterday ... when she said "I have SHahzi" not my words , just quoting from yesterday
she probably forgot to finish the sentences...

the orginal phrase was "i have Shazi...Nilli's man" :p

[schaxeb]

who the hell is Adnan!??!? :sarb:
ask sadia n ali... they are the "smart" ones here.

[shamel_ki_jaan]

ask sadia n ali... they are the "smart" ones here.
i don't come on one nite..and so much happens :no:

[schaxeb]

i don't come on one nite..and so much happens :no:
there was something abt samiya too... :dunno: im still confused... too much drama.

[PakPlaya69]

sachi sachi... i dont think anything worth bein in the news... she still denies her relationship with him.


she really got me upset when she started acting like a kidd and cryin over the joke. ah well i guess sooner or later we wil find ot the truth

[shamel_ki_jaan]

there was something abt samiya too... :dunno: im still confused... too much drama.i'll stay away from it then! :D

[schaxeb]

i'll stay away from it then! :D
ohh please... thats precisely the reason u r on RD.

[shamel_ki_jaan]

ohh please... thats precisely the reason u r on RD.
oh so now i know your reason for signing up on here :p

[PakPlaya69]

i don't come on one nite..and so much happens :no:
Ok this is what exactly happened,
Samiya = muslimbeauty06
adnan = Pain Infliction

smaiya and adnan have a thing for each other but yesterday suddenly she changed her sig and puts jiggamans pic in there , adnana got upset and she justified it by saying you have saida .. ooooooooooooooooooooo he didn deny it and sadia got upset at samiya about mentioning it , later on when i questioned her about it she first claimed there was nothing there then she confess to have spoken to the bloke on msn and then she denied being in LOVE with him ... Oooooooooooooooooo sounds fishy init?

[shamel_ki_jaan]

Ok this is what exactly happened,
Samiya = muslimbeauty06
adnan = Pain Infliction

smaiya and adnan have a thing for each other but yesterday suddenly she changed her sig and puts jiggamans pic in there , adnana got upset and she justified it by saying you have saida .. ooooooooooooooooooooo he didn deny it and sadia got upset at samiya about mentioning it , later on when i questioned her about it she first claimed there was nothing there then she confess to have spoken to the bloke on msn and then she denied being in LOVE with him ... Oooooooooooooooooo sounds fishy init?
dymnn...
how about we leave Samiya..Adnan and Sadia deal w/ it on their own...
we shouldn't get involve in that :D

now now...go back to thinking about "birds" and "seeds" :lol:

[~CupCake~]

Ok this is what exactly happened,
Samiya = muslimbeauty06
adnan = Pain Infliction

smaiya and adnan have a thing for each other but yesterday suddenly she changed her sig and puts jiggamans pic in there , adnana got upset and she justified it by saying you have saida .. ooooooooooooooooooooo he didn deny it and sadia got upset at samiya about mentioning it , later on when i questioned her about it she first claimed there was nothing there then she confess to have spoken to the bloke on msn and then she denied being in LOVE with him ... Oooooooooooooooooo sounds fishy init?

you are crazy ali :cuddle:

[schaxeb]

dymnn...
how about we leave Samiya..Adnan and Sadia deal w/ it on their own...
we shouldn't get involve in that :D

now now...go back to thinking about "birds" and "seeds" :lol:
sadia told u to say all this rite?

[PakPlaya69]

dymnn...
how about we leave Samiya..Adnan and Sadia deal w/ it on their own...
we shouldn't get involve in that :D

now now...go back to thinking about "birds" and "seeds" :lol:


COme on how can you leave a 3some like that alone ,,,, :Pelvic2:

[PakPlaya69]

you are crazy ali :cuddle:

I am upset at ya for being a sore loser yesterday .. :mad:

[baby khan]

sorry to hear that...try working it out with them u just need to sit down and talk i guess and if nothing works out well i wish u all the best with everything but dont give up the fight :hug:

[Kavita]

I have never and will never be placed in this type of situation. 1. I am not muslim and 2. My parents are not really adamant about me getting married at a certain age. However, I do know what you're going through because one of my closest friends went through the same exact thing. (For something positive, she never ended up marrying her cousin) Only thing I can say is if your parents choose not to understand you, or fail to see your side, then maybe you should make way on your own. I'm not saying your parents DONT love you, bc Im pretty sure they do, but forcing your child to marry someone against their wish is morally wrong. In my eyes it is.

[shamel_ki_jaan]

sadia told u to say all this rite?
ji nahin :p

[shamel_ki_jaan]

COme on how can you leave a 3some like that alone ,,,, :Pelvic2:
too bad you're gonna miss out on all the action!

[~CupCake~]

I am upset at ya for being a sore loser yesterday .. :mad:

i wasn't in the mood :(

[schaxeb]

sorry to hear that...try working it out with them u just need to sit down and talk i guess and if nothing works out well i wish u all the best with everything but dont give up the fight :hug:
for a second there i thought u were talkin to sadia n ali abt not giving up the fight.

[~CupCake~]

sorry to hear that...try working it out with them u just need to sit down and talk i guess and if nothing works out well i wish u all the best with everything but dont give up the fight :hug:

who the heck are you talking to? :sarb:

[Kavita]

I thought it was a girl, as they always talk about things like running away. But could be a guy too.

So a guy is forced he can tell his parents to fuck off? but a girl can't? I don't believe that, and screw the way things are "supposed" to be, that never stopped me from doing what the hell I want.

[shamel_ki_jaan]

who the heck are you talking to? :sarb:
thread starter!!

[baby khan]

sadoo guess what?

[PakPlaya69]

i wasn't in the mood :(

well if you are willin to crack a joke then be ready to tke one too , you weren in the moo cause it wasn goin your way , typical desi

[schaxeb]

sadoo guess what?
bhook lagi hogi?

[baby khan]

for a second there i thought u were talkin to sadia n ali abt not giving up the fight.
pagal
sadia- im talkin about the thread starter

[~CupCake~]

sadoo guess what?

what.. ali said yes?? :dance3:

[baby khan]

bhook lagi hogi?
shahzaib ur always picking on me :tears:

[~CupCake~]

bhook lagi hogi?

:roflbow:

[shamel_ki_jaan]

well if you are willin to crack a joke then be ready to tke one too , you weren in the moo cause it wasn goin your way , typical desi
stop starting shyt :mad:

[~CupCake~]

well if you are willin to crack a joke then be ready to tke one too , you weren in the moo cause it wasn goin your way , typical desi

khota... :slap2:

[schaxeb]

shahzaib ur always picking on me :tears:
im sorry. i just couldnt stop myself from saying that...

[shamel_ki_jaan]

bhook lagi hogi?
:lol:

[baby khan]

what.. ali said yes?? :dance3:
nahi.....it snowed here dammit :mad:

[~CupCake~]

stop starting shyt :mad:

i know..


ali always starts our e-fights... :mad:

[~CupCake~]

nahi.....it snowed here dammit :mad:

awww... tell that to shahzaib da redneck

[baby khan]

im sorry. i just couldnt stop myself from saying that...
u always say that everytime i say guess what :no:

[PakPlaya69]

khota... :slap2:

ah well i hope you do dmit that i won that round , even lala gave me that round hehehe ... will be waiitng for another one KHOTIIIIIIIII

[baby khan]

:roflbow:
:slap:

[schaxeb]

u always say that everytime i say guess what :no:
i'll stop if u stop saying guess what...

[baby khan]

awww... tell that to shahzaib da redneck
he's prolly already seen it

[~CupCake~]

ah well i hope you do dmit that i won that round , even lala gave me that round hehehe ... will be waiitng for another one KHOTIIIIIIIII

dafa ho jao.. main pathan ke monh nahi lagti :rolleyes:

[shamel_ki_jaan]

i know..


ali always starts our e-fights... :mad:
u know there's a saying...

if a guy picks on u...it usually means he secretly admires u :eyebrow:

[schaxeb]

he's prolly already seen it
snow??? :sarb:

[~CupCake~]

u know there's a saying...

if a guy picks on u...it usually means he secretly admires u :eyebrow:

:slap:

[baby khan]

i'll stop if u stop saying guess what...
i cant help it that i always say it :ashamed:

[schaxeb]

u know there's a saying...

if a guy picks on u...it usually means he secretly admires u :eyebrow:
ali has a thing for every female with a pulse...

[shamel_ki_jaan]

:slap:
bata hai beti ji..truth hurts :hug:

[~CupCake~]

i'll stop if u stop saying guess what...

bachi se kiyon baat kar rahay ho..

mujh se karo :mad:

[PakPlaya69]

dafa ho jao.. main pathan ke monh nahi lagti :rolleyes:


Ohh really phir kis kis ke mooon lagti ho.. le me guess Pain???????? hahahahha :Pelvic2:

[baby khan]

snow??? :sarb:
not the snow but what i said to sadia...


Ali- :wavey:

[schaxeb]

bachi se kiyon baat kar rahay ho..

mujh se karo :mad:
ohhh the drama... just like samiya, adnan and u...

[~CupCake~]

bata hai beti ji..truth hurts :hug:

you and sana are the only two always on my side

tum jao ali aur shahzaib ke side.. :wavey:

[PakPlaya69]

ali has a thing for every female with a pulse...

please bold th words FEMALE ... :Pelvic2:

[~CupCake~]

Ohh really phir kis kis ke mooon lagti ho.. le me guess Pain???????? hahahahha :Pelvic2:

tumhay chaheay tha woh??

oh i am sorry... he is mine.. find yourself another man