guys-please answer this q for me

[cantthinkofone]

.................................................. ....

[SpicyBrownRapper]

Oh I'd think she was the biggest fucking idiot alive.

[WonkaBear]

I'd seduce her and make her believe in luv if she was hot enough. Girls say a lot of things... its easy to change their minds :p

[PrOfFaSeE]

shes had a bad experience in the past
dont get attached
keep your distance and she'll fall in love wid ya ;-)

[Infamous_Punjabi]

And be as honest/serious as you can be . Lets say you meet this girl, and the first time as you two speak, she remarks that she does'nt really believe in falling in love, and that she believes that guys date girls cuz they wanna sleep with her and apparently all the guys she's met only fixate on appearance/etc. What would be your opinion /assumption about her?


P.S: I know stereotypes show ignorance, and there are always exception to the rules.
id tell her to think logically

[selina_786]

I'd agree with her and then attempt to get her in the right force asap.

[cantthinkofone]

I'd agree with her and then attempt to get her in the right force asap.


whats the right force? :sarb:

[*most_wanted*]

And be as honest/serious as you can be . Lets say you meet this girl, and the first time as you two speak, she remarks that she does'nt really believe in falling in love, and that she believes that guys date girls cuz they wanna sleep with her and apparently all the guys she's met only fixate on appearance/etc. What would be your opinion /assumption about her?


P.S: I know stereotypes show ignorance, and there are always exception to the rules.
I would say to her "Yep you got it right" ;)

[cantthinkofone]

id tell her to think logically

lol and what would your opinion of her be?

[cantthinkofone]

I would say to her "Yep you got it right" ;)

so you'd basically agree with her?what else?

[rx300]

And be as honest/serious as you can be . Lets say you meet this girl, and the first time as you two speak, she remarks that she does'nt really believe in falling in love, and that she believes that guys date girls cuz they wanna sleep with her and apparently all the guys she's met only fixate on appearance/etc. What would be your opinion /assumption about her?


P.S: I know stereotypes show ignorance, and there are always exception to the rules.

She figured us out!

[Infamous_Punjabi]

lol and what would your opinion of her be?
since she feels this way anyway... y dont i jus hit it n quit it??

[vikvik12]

whats the right force? :sarb:
the jedi force.

[cantthinkofone]

shes had a bad experience in the past
dont get attached
keep your distance and she'll fall in love wid ya ;-)


bad experience entails what? That she slept with a guy or, the guy she liked wanted to sleep with her. Does it show that she's conservative or been around?

[WonkaBear]

When girls say they dont believe in love... and all that stuff. They are basically wanting to be swept off their feet. I mean... if ur suave, charming, funny, and treat them like a princess... she is putty in your hands.

Dont be goin crazy about her beauty, be really nonchalant about it. Be friendly more than romantic, and eventually they will come towards ya

[cantthinkofone]

She figured us out!


lol so you're basically agreeing with everything she'd say.

[cantthinkofone]

Oh I'd think she was the biggest fucking idiot alive.

but would you tell her that?

[ruch4343]

since she feels this way anyway... y dont i jus hit it n quit it??

:slap: kutta.

[cantthinkofone]

When girls say they dont believe in love... and all that stuff. They are basically wanting to be swept off their feet. I mean... if ur suave, charming, funny, and treat them like a princess... she is putty in your hands.

Dont be goin crazy about her beauty, be really nonchalant about it. Be friendly more than romantic, and eventually they will come towards ya


haha its true..it probably just shows cynicism. But would you assume she's experienced based on whatever she's said, or that she's innocent and conservative?

[Infamous_Punjabi]

:slap: kutta.
why do u say that u kutti?

[selina_786]

whats the right force? :sarb:
down south

[cantthinkofone]

:slap: kutta.


well, the fact that she's said all that, does'nt it imply she's against sleeping around :sarb: or it shows that she's done it before :neutral:

[ruch4343]

why do u say that u kutti?

hit it and quit it?

although i guess it's tru. :sarb:

[cantthinkofone]

down south

so do u share her beliefs as well?

[cantthinkofone]

hit it and quit it?

although i guess it's tru. :sarb:


whats true?

[ruch4343]

well, the fact that she's said all that, does'nt it imply she's against sleeping around :sarb: or it shows that she's done it before :neutral:


it implies that she is bitter like me.

[Infamous_Punjabi]

hit it and quit it?

although i guess it's tru. :sarb:
if thats how shes feels then i cant change that..... id jus hit it n quit it!

[cantthinkofone]

it implies that she is bitter like me.


so what are your reasons for being bitter? girls who think like that, is it cuz they slept with the guy and got dumped, or cuz theyre innocent and are repulsed by the idea of it?

[cantthinkofone]

if thats how shes feels then i cant change that..... id jus hit it n quit it!


okay but she wouldnt let that happen..

[WonkaBear]

haha its true..it probably just shows cynicism. But would you assume she's experienced based on whatever she's said, or that she's innocent and conservative?

I dunno. Some girls are experienced and hate guys for usin them. Some girls are sick of guys leavin them for not puttin out.

Either way u look at it... it doesnt matter if u really dig the chick...

[ruch4343]

so what are your reasons for being bitter? girls who think like that, is it cuz they slept with the guy and got dumped, or cuz theyre innocent and are repulsed by the idea of it?


why the over-analysis????

im bitter cuz i just am. :dunno:

[Infamous_Punjabi]

okay but she wouldnt let that happen..
then id find a way into her heart n play it that way!

[sanj2005]

women were born with a mission to confuse us men :rolleyes:

[cantthinkofone]

then id find a way into her heart n play it that way!


but you would'nt fall in love with her? and, would think she's innocent with morals or otherwise, just a challenge?

[cantthinkofone]

women were born with a mission to confuse us men :rolleyes:


haha so true. But whats so confusing about what she said?would'nt you appreciate her honesty the first time you met her?

[gujulicious]

sounds pretty insecure and heartbroken to me..

[youheartme2]

it implies that she is bitter like me.

haha.. werd.

[rx300]

And be as honest/serious as you can be . Lets say you meet this girl, and the first time as you two speak, she remarks that she does'nt really believe in falling in love, and that she believes that guys date girls cuz they wanna sleep with her and apparently all the guys she's met only fixate on appearance/etc. What would be your opinion /assumption about her?


P.S: I know stereotypes show ignorance, and there are always exception to the rules.


Are you a girl or a guy?

If a girl asked me that, I would think she's testing me or something.

[Infamous_Punjabi]

but you would'nt fall in love with her? and, would think she's innocent with morals or otherwise, just a challenge?
umm if i liked her i would try to change her thought process...but otherwise id jus use her as a hurdle to see if i can clear it

[harvey_mayway]

prob think shes been fucked by the football team and half of the school already, cause shes a hoe...

[Rogue]

sounds like she had a bad experience. don't blame her. i question the idea more and more as i grow older, too...just because my faith in that kind of love has become jaded, as bad experiences tend to have that effect.

[versatil]

I'd be like, "Wow. She's the smartest 13 year old I've ever met on the internet. Now if only she was decent looking, too."

[cantthinkofone]

sounds pretty insecure and heartbroken to me..


so thats what you would basically surmise?

[cantthinkofone]

sounds like she had a bad experience. don't blame her. i question the idea more and more as i grow older, too...just because my faith in that kind of love has become jaded, as bad experiences tend to have that effect.


aww :neutral: So basically you relate to her? But does it necessarily entail that when a girl says that, it has to imply that she's experienced in the relationship department :sarb: can she be innocent?

[cantthinkofone]

I'd be like, "Wow. She's the smartest 13 year old I've ever met on the internet. Now if only she was decent looking, too."


what if she was in her 20s? and was decent looking.

[cantthinkofone]

prob think shes been fucked by the football team and half of the school already, cause shes a hoe...


hmm i see.. so you'd automatically assume that she's been around and it can't be that she was conservative, hence the cynicism?

[Rogue]

aww :neutral: So basically you relate to her? But does it necessarily entail that when a girl says that, it has to imply that she's experienced in the relationship department :sarb: can she be innocent?yea, i'm not trying to imply that she necessarily has had a bad experience directly, but perhaps she has witnessed the aftermath of bad experiences indirectly which makes her so cynical.

[cantthinkofone]

I dunno. Some girls are experienced and hate guys for usin them. Some girls are sick of guys leavin them for not puttin out.

Either way u look at it... it doesnt matter if u really dig the chick...


thats so true..it could really be one of the two..but don't guys want totally innocent conservative girls anyway?

[cantthinkofone]

yea, i'm not trying to imply that she necessarily has had a bad experience directly, but perhaps she has witnessed the aftermath of bad experiences indirectly which makes her so cynical.


thats true..but to take indirect experiences so seriously and let it shape her mentality...is not as plausible as experiencing it herself :sarb: and are'nt her opinions/her entire outlook too stereotypical to begin with unless it really happened to her..like is'nt it more likely that girls who have been used/dumped would share that outlook versus girls who havent really been out there in the relationship arena..

[Rogue]

thats true..but to take indirect experiences so seriously and let it shape her mentality...is not as plausible as experiencing it herself :sarb: and are'nt her opinions/her entire outlook too stereotypical to begin with unless it really happened to her..like is'nt it more likely that girls who have been used/dumped would share that outlook versus girls who havent really been out there in the relationship arena..yes, the latter seems to be more likely, but there could be other explainations. It's difficult to say however unless someone gains her trust enough for her to explain her opinion about it. i mean, someone just as well could have probably taken advantage of her. and just to get it through, indirect experiences can even include seperated parents or something. there's actually a book that does a really good job at theorizing and presenting possibilities as to why the younger generation is so extremely cynical about the concept of love and how short lived many relationships, including marriage, are. It's called All About Love by Bell Hooks. :) if you're interested, that is.

[cantthinkofone]

yes, the latter seems to be more likely, but there could be other explainations. It's difficult to say however unless someone gains her trust enough for her to explain her opinion about it. i mean, someone just as well could have probably taken advantage of her. and just to get it through, indirect experiences can even include seperated parents or something. there's actually a book that does a really good job at theorizing and presenting possibilities as to why the younger generation is so extremely cynical about the concept of love and how short lived many relationships, including marriage, are. It's called All About Love by Bell Hooks. :) if you're interested, that is.


thats so true..thanks for your comments :wavey: It makes sense when the girl comes from broken homes n stuff...but what if she comes from a normal loving family, then, the chances of her being *inexperienced* when it comes to love, is really really small right? cuz a girl who's conservative and not very experienced in relationship matters would probably be the type who's super romantic/believes in prince charming/being swept off her feet versus thinking that all guys wanna do is sleep around :o yeah that book sounds interesting, i'll def try to check it out!thankss

[cantthinkofone]

haha.. werd.


you're bitter too? why????

[Ka5h]

stay as mates. but don't expect too much.. give her hints if u really like her.. but don't push urself. if it's meant to be.. then go for it if u really like her.. if it ain't. there's always more fish in the sea..

although, she sounds the clingy type to me.. which shouts out to me.. don't go there. just keep it cool and don't expect much

[cantthinkofone]

stay as mates. but don't expect too much.. give her hints if u really like her.. but don't push urself. if it's meant to be.. then go for it if u really like her.. if it ain't. there's always more fish in the sea..

although, she sounds the clingy type to me.. which shouts out to me.. don't go there. just keep it cool and don't expect much


why does she sound clingy?

[Ka5h]

2 main reasons..

1. because i've dated that type and it ain't cool
2. u said it was ur first time u officially talked and she brought all that up out of nowhere.. is it only me here.. or does that sound completly out of proportion to any1 else? :sarb:

watever u decide.. hope it all goes well

[sWeEtnDsOuR]

women were born with a mission to confuse us men :rolleyes:


:p :p :p

[Loose]

id tell her to think logically

you're obviously forgetting she's a woman.

[DesiPrince005]

And be as honest/serious as you can be . Lets say you meet this girl, and the first time as you two speak, she remarks that she does'nt really believe in falling in love, and that she believes that guys date girls cuz they wanna sleep with her and apparently all the guys she's met only fixate on appearance/etc. What would be your opinion /assumption about her?


P.S: I know stereotypes show ignorance, and there are always exception to the rules.



its good that u are not trying to be judgemental...
i could say so much about this issue...but i might get emotional so i will keep it short...

please remember that everybody has different experiences...and u cannot underestimate what a person has gone through...or how those experiences has affected them....

you dont have to be a hoe or a slut to have had bad experiences...

listen...some girls are lucky....they can go out with friends..meet guys...and never get treated like trash or have a guy try to use them

maybe they are just lucky, or have the right friends, or maybe there is something about their appearance..that makes the "right" guys flock to them...

some of it has to do with stereotypes and appearance...
ill only talk about desi culture since its a desi wesbite..
in our culture...appearance has alot to due with how a girl is percieved..

ill make it quick and blunt....im sure you have heard aunties that have said, "ohh she is so fair and innocent looking..will make a perfect wife"...
unfortunately..its not only old aunties that have this perception...
some of them pass it on to their sons...
all of that...kicks in...the west vs east conflict..when it comes to relationships...

some guys look for certain qualities in a "wife" just based on physical appearance ...

some guys look for certain qualities in a "whore" just based on physical appearance as well...

many guys will deny it...but all these "prejudices" go under the radar and go unnoticed...except for the girl who has to go through those experiences...

when you have guys that approach you...repeatedly..because you are:

a. traditonally unattractive by desi standards
b. overweight
c. dark skinned
d. immodest (of course there are varying degrees of modesty.. the ultraconservative muslim boy may think a girl without hijab or who wears jeans is a whore)
e. all of the above

even though u may think ive anaylzed the situation to the point of obsurdity...i see this as true...

tyra banks even had a show on it..men's perception of women based on race and physical attributes...the indian did exactly what i thought he would do...lol


anyways...if u dont read anything else...lol..read this...its a complicated situation..and each girl has a different story to tell...some girls may just be unlucky..but alot of times there is a pattern....

and u can imagine...if you are dating a guy...and u like him...u thnk he likes you...but u find out that he is only dating you because he thinks u may be a whore...or give out easily...

the guy doesnt have to be successful at all....just knowing his intentions is enough to break a person's spirit...
knowing a guy seeked you for the wrong intentions
u can ask yourself, "why would this guy think i am a whore?"
if u dont have a justifiable answer...u realize that he had no other reasoning except for your physical appearance...

i mean...im guessing that u are a girl...imagine that..no matter what u do...u come to find out that certain guys will always percieve you to be a whore...how would that make u feel?
wouldnt it make u want to avoid those type of guys?

its bad experiences...that can lead girls to make such drastic decisions about men..and relationships...


in a perfect world...people will judge a person based on merit, intellect, integrity..etc...

but sometimes, evironment and cultural conditioning has a major influence on how a person is percieved...

[cantthinkofone]

its good that u are not trying to be judgemental...
i could say so much about this issue...but i might get emotional so i will keep it short...

please remember that everybody has different experiences...and u cannot underestimate what a person has gone through...or how those experiences has affected them....

you dont have to be a hoe or a slut to have had bad experiences...

listen...some girls are lucky....they can go out with friends..meet guys...and never get treated like trash or have a guy try to use them

maybe they are just lucky, or have the right friends, or maybe there is something about their appearance..that makes the "right" guys flock to them...

some of it has to do with stereotypes and appearance...
ill only talk about desi culture since its a desi wesbite..
in our culture...appearance has alot to due with how a girl is percieved..

ill make it quick and blunt....im sure you have heard aunties that have said, "ohh she is so fair and innocent looking..will make a perfect wife"...
unfortunately..its not only old aunties that have this perception...
some of them pass it on to their sons...
all of that...kicks in...the west vs east conflict..when it comes to relationships...

some guys look for certain qualities in a "wife" just based on physical appearance ...

some guys look for certain qualities in a "whore" just based on physical appearance as well...

many guys will deny it...but all these "prejudices" go under the radar and go unnoticed...except for the girl who has to go through those experiences...

when you have guys that approach you...repeatedly..because you are:

a. traditonally unattractive by desi standards
b. overweight
c. dark skinned
d. immodest (of course there are varying degrees of modesty.. the ultraconservative muslim boy may think a girl without hijab or who wears jeans is a whore)
e. all of the above

even though u may think ive anaylzed the situation to the point of obsurdity...i see this as true...

tyra banks even had a show on it..men's perception of women based on race and physical attributes...the indian did exactly what i thought he would do...lol


anyways...if u dont read anything else...lol..read this...its a complicated situation..and each girl has a different story to tell...some girls may just be unlucky..but alot of times there is a pattern....

and u can imagine...if you are dating a guy...and u like him...u thnk he likes you...but u find out that he is only dating you because he thinks u may be a whore...or give out easily...

the guy doesnt have to be successful at all....just knowing his intentions is enough to break a person's spirit...
knowing a guy seeked you for the wrong intentions
u can ask yourself, "why would this guy think i am a whore?"
if u dont have a justifiable answer...u realize that he had no other reasoning except for your physical appearance...

i mean...im guessing that u are a girl...imagine that..no matter what u do...u come to find out that certain guys will always percieve you to be a whore...how would that make u feel?
wouldnt it make u want to avoid those type of guys?

its bad experiences...that can lead girls to make such drastic decisions about men..and relationships...


in a perfect world...people will judge a person based on merit, intellect, integrity..etc...

but sometimes, evironment and cultural conditioning has a major influence on how a person is percieved...

wow i can't believe you took the time to explain everything so well! :D You sound like a great guy, with an awesome personality. And i agree with everything you said, perhaps it's the girl's appearance that makes her attract the wrong kind of people.And the perception of that is heavily influenced by alot of stereotypes that have been passed down from generations..quite sad to see that people are quick to judge(assuming the girl is dressed really decently) and yet that isnt enough. Seems like you know someone who went through a similar experience :neutral:

[cantthinkofone]

2 main reasons..

1. because i've dated that type and it ain't cool
2. u said it was ur first time u officially talked and she brought all that up out of nowhere.. is it only me here.. or does that sound completly out of proportion to any1 else? :sarb:

watever u decide.. hope it all goes well


how was she personality wise? and, maybe some people are just comfortable to express their views?

[koolio19]

then ask her if shes gonna let u hit it or what??

[DesiPrince005]

wow i can't believe you took the time to explain everything so well! :D You sound like a great guy, with an awesome personality. And i agree with everything you said, perhaps it's the girl's appearance that makes her attract the wrong kind of people.And the perception of that is heavily influenced by alot of stereotypes that have been passed down from generations..quite sad to see that people are quick to judge(assuming the girl is dressed really decently) and yet that isnt enough. Seems like you know someone who went through a similar experience :neutral:


yeah...i have seen it before...unfortunately
but all i can say is that..sometimes it may be a "blessing in disguise" u know?
maybe u have to go through that for some reason...it makes u a wiser person...
plus...why would u want a guy that can treat a girl that way...u know?

whatever the reason for ur friend's hurt and anger..tell her that shes lucky because at least shes not living in blind ignorance...and maybe it will help her choose carefully when she finally meets someone..and she will

tell her to smile all the time..even when it hurts like hell...

she will attract the right guys eventually...
and all the guys who had it in for her...it is their lost...they will regret it later...it almost always happens that way

[freshmanik_13]

id probably go for her , i love challenges