The Desi Rat Race..

[Night Fox]

Im starting to think that Asian parents imprint a sense of desperation onto their children about coming out 'on top'. Not knowing the means to get there themselves. Living through their children?

Discuss...while I make myself some coffee and croissants.

[x_babytee_x]

can u get me some coffee aswell please :chick: :caffine:

[Areez_UK_HUSTLER]

Im starting to think that Asian parents imprint a sense of desperation onto their children about coming out 'on top'. Not knowing the means to get there themselves. Living through their children?

Discuss...while I make myself some coffee and croissants.

not so sure, if its parent wanting to live through their kids as much as its the fact they want the "best" for their kids............

I know i've always been taught to strive for excellence for a number of reasons!

1) when living in a "white mans land" as my folks put it, you have to be that much better than the rest to get ahead!

2) Us asians have a work ethos that we should be proud of!

3) And........... asians have a natural talent for education............ and this should be exploited in order to be the "best"................

4) the best line i've heard in a while.................

............ " our society has evolved.........we live a meritocratic society...... a aman is no longer judged on who he knows above what he knows. PPl are and should be judged on their merits".................. hence nowadays one degree aint even enough as every joe bloggs has got one!


just a few thoughts................ I put it down to our parents wanting us to be the best at what ever it is we do!................ :sarb: agree no agree?!?!?! :sarb:

[Areez_UK_HUSTLER]

and i'll have a coffee white........with 3 sugars! thanks! ;-)

[Night Fox]

I totally disagree...

and..Starbucks is that way *Points Northwards* :neutral:

[zaph69]

it is true that our parents push us hard. i think it's an asian mentality both in india, and very obvious in immigrants here. my parents have always pushed me and my sister in academia - both of them are doctors and regardless of asian background, i'm going to push my kids hard in academia too.

[Areez_UK_HUSTLER]

I totally disagree...

and..Starbucks is that way *Points Northwards* :neutral:


so elaborate on your original statement and let us know what u do think?!!! :wavey:

[boredatwork]

My parents put a lot of pressure on us to succeed. I really hated it as a child and in someways it robbed us of our youth. In hindsight though it did pay off. I now am the biggest drug dealer in my endz and my sibling charges one of the highest escort rates. I guess they only pushed us so we would be happy and successful.

[Night Fox]

I just wonder which way round it's meant to be...

It doesnt seem so much about encouraging children to choose a path and work hard at it, and letting money or fame be a by-product. Insted the by-product seems to be used to make us work hard. Or almost to instill fear of failure in us.

Hope im making sense.. :sarb:

[*farishta*]

not so sure, if its parent wanting to live through their kids as much as its the fact they want the "best" for their kids............

I know i've always been taught to strive for excellence for a number of reasons!

1) when living in a "white mans land" as my folks put it, you have to be that much better than the rest to get ahead!

2) Us asians have a work ethos that we should be proud of!

3) And........... asians have a natural talent for education............ and this should be exploited in order to be the "best"................

4) the best line i've heard in a while.................

............ " our society has evolved.........we live a meritocratic society...... a aman is no longer judged on who he knows above what he knows. PPl are and should be judged on their merits".................. hence nowadays one degree aint even enough as every joe bloggs has got one!


just a few thoughts................ I put it down to our parents wanting us to be the best at what ever it is we do!................ :sarb: agree no agree?!?!?! :sarb:

natural talent for education? don't you think its more to do with being pushed to get a good education by parents rather than what comes 'naturally'?

[Areez_UK_HUSTLER]

natural talent for education? don't you think its more to do with being pushed to get a good education by parents rather than what comes 'naturally'?


Id say that it is to be with being pushed, but think about it............ asian parents arent the only ones to push their kids............. white families do and so do black,................ but when it comes to respecting our parents wishes, and actually putting in the effort to make it all come true........... I think asian kids go the extra mile! ;-) (maybe for fear of getting beats)...........

I know that as a kid, I have always been a musician then and now......... and when I used to come home with a 98% mark from music exams, my old man always, ALWAYS used to ask "well......... what happen to the 2%?"........

the asian way! ;-)

[MaranelloMan]

There is nothing wrong with pushing your kids hard. In this country kids arent pushed hard enough at school. All they want is their kids to work hard so that later in life they can play hard. Life is so much easier with a good education.

[Night Fox]

but when it comes to respecting our parents wishes, and actually putting in the effort to make it all come true........... I think asian kids go the extra mile! ;-) (maybe for fear of getting beats)...........



I dont see why it has to come down to respecting our parents wishes. Does that teach us to be confident in our own abilities?

...I assume you do music now though, yeah?

[Night Fox]

There is nothing wrong with pushing your kids hard. In this country kids arent pushed hard enough at school. All they want is their kids to work hard so that later in life they can play hard. Life is so much easier with a good education.

True, of course life is easier with a good education, everyone knows that, but..what else do they teach?

I just dont favour the whole ' Dont end up like us' drill. Wouldnt a more secure parent try and teach more than that?

[Areez_UK_HUSTLER]

I dont see why it has to come down to respecting our parents wishes. Does that teach us to be confident in our own abilities?

...I assume you do music now though, yeah?


well it all paid off, as I'm qualified to teach with the Victoria college of Music and the Royal School of music............. but I keep that as a sideline......

and all thanks to my folks!............... my successes are largely due to the opportunities they've given me, the support and motivation they've provided me with and all the chances they've given me and my bro!

[Night Fox]

well it all paid off, as I'm qualified to teach with the Victoria college of Music and the Royal School of music............. but I keep that as a sideline......


That sounds pretty cool man, ...but, why sideline it?

[*farishta*]

Id say that it is to be with being pushed, but think about it............ asian parents arent the only ones to push their kids............. white families do and so do black,................ but when it comes to respecting our parents wishes, and actually putting in the effort to make it all come true........... I think asian kids go the extra mile! ;-) (maybe for fear of getting beats)...........

I know that as a kid, I have always been a musician then and now......... and when I used to come home with a 98% mark from music exams, my old man always, ALWAYS used to ask "well......... what happen to the 2%?"........

the asian way! ;-)

this is true but white and black families don't have such an unaccepting stance on failure as asian families.

the example u give illustrates the extent to which asian parents push their kids. the chldren are raised to believe however well they do is never good enough. like you, rather than being rewarded or appreciated for the effort i put into my work and the results i get, i too am chided for what i HAVEN'T achieved.

[Areez_UK_HUSTLER]

That sounds pretty cool man, ...but, why sideline it?


Again, through the advice of my parents I've always kept it a sideline, (that may well be something that i've regreted)........... I took my secular education very seriously and now work as a marketing account manager..... (durin the weekdays.........) run a nightclub (at weekends) and teach kids Keyboards in the evenings and weekends..............

You probably wont believe me, but Rishi Rich and myself went to school togther........... we had a band togeher whilst doing our GCSE's.......... he then went on to elaborate his musical career and i went on to elaborate my working career.......... what could have been eh?!?!?! ............ but I'm happy with what i've achieved anyway!

[Night Fox]

Again, through the advice of my parents I've always kept it a sideline, (that may well be something that i've regreted)........... I took my secular education very seriously and now work as a marketing account manager..... (durin the weekdays.........) run a nightclub (at weekends) and teach kids Keyboards in the evenings and weekends..............

You probably wont believe me, but Rishi Rich and myself went to school togther........... we had a band togeher whilst doing our GCSE's.......... he then went on to elaborate his musical career and i went on to elaborate my working career.......... what could have been eh?!?!?! ............ but I'm happy with what i've achieved anyway!


Dont get me wrong, I understand you respect ur parents.

But...I rest my case.

[Areez_UK_HUSTLER]

Dont get me wrong, I understand you respect ur parents.

But...I rest my case.


I knew you were gonna high light that, and that why I held back!

I'm glad I didnt take it as my main line of work.............. the music industry is very very volatile........... and as a result, I'm glad of the direction I took. At least I know I have a secure future............. a good career, 2 good businesses, and I'll always have my music to fall back on!

I reakon my parents gave me some wise advice at the time, and I'm thanking them now for it! ;-) so its all good!............ know what i mean!

[MaranelloMan]

True, of course life is easier with a good education, everyone knows that, but..what else do they teach?

I just dont favour the whole ' Dont end up like us' drill. Wouldnt a more secure parent try and teach more than that?
Most asian parents came here and worked their way up the hard way. 30-40 years of working and they are still working. Our starting point is much better than their and all they want is that we go up, not down. Im 100% behind parents, except the ones who force their kids into things. Any parent who forces their kid to become a doctor needs to go into an asylum. Work every moment of your life for not much pay? I dont think so. Id rather become a dentist and earn £80K a year!

[Night Fox]

I knew you were gonna high light that, and that why I held back!

I'm glad I didnt take it as my main line of work.............. the music industry is very very volatile........... and as a result, I'm glad of the direction I took. At least I know I have a secure future............. a good career, 2 good businesses, and I'll always have my music to fall back on!

I reakon my parents gave me some wise advice at the time, and I'm thanking them now for it! ;-) so its all good!............ know what i mean!

Im glad things worked out for you - dont get me wrong, its good that you do have a career. My main arguement I guess is to do with parents supporting their kids in whatever they choose to do.