need advice =< =< =< =<

[shamhuss]

Hey listen i've bin dating dis girl 4 about 1yr 4 months now, we really luvd each uda and we had a great time, never really got upset with each other or anything, u know how ppl dream of finding dat perfect partner well dats what we both had, neways 4 months ago she went pakistan 4 6 weeks, she came bak and said she wanted 2 break up, after pleading with her for weeks and weeks she decided 2 give us a chance again(her excuse 4 breaking up was she didnt feel da same, but i knew it was summat else) so after going out 4 a month i cud tell she luvd me, we were always kissing and stuff, den she told me da reason she had wanted 2 break up was cos she was scared her brothers mite find out and she was havin tuf times at home alredy cos her brother wanted 2 marry his own choice but her parents wernt havin dat and she was scared dat if she kept on going out with me she wud want 2 marry me 2 and wudnt be able 2 let go, well lately she stopped kissing me again and she only eva kisses me on the cheeks, but i know she still has feelings 4 me

well now i have 2 practically get relly upset 2 get a kiss on da cheek 4rm her never mind da lips, and dats is rely pissing me off, according 2 her she felt disgusted by how far we went last year (we dint have sex or any form of sex jst fingering pussy shit like dat) but what i tried expalining 2 her is y shud she be upset we luv d each uda and we displayed that affection, thing is i rely luv her and dont want 2 be wid any uda girl, any advice on how da fuk i can get her 2 be affectionate with me and start kissing me again of her own accord and shit like dat? (swear girls u cant liv wid dem and cant liv widout dem)

[Nights]

Errr... Hypnosis??

You got a problem there buddy and I dont envy ya. I would try to build in her head the concept that she has the right to marry who she wants so her parents can f*ck off (I hate that sh*t). So if she is secure long term she will open up... but I reckon it will take a few weeks to achieve this in a non0confrontational way.

But are you actually gonna marry her and do you really love her?? Or are you just saying it for some pom-pom?? Thats a bit slack isn't it??

[shamhuss]

yh i want 2 marry her, and i rely do luv her, but thing is she's getting rely depressed 4rm home 2 cos her brother and parents are always arguing about marriage and she even tells me dat im the only guy ever 4 her (im da 1st guy she ever went out with) but lately she wont even kiss me unless i have 2 ask her 2 and even den she is reluctant, i jst dont get how 2 make her like become more intimate wid me

[Nights]

i jst dont get how 2 make her like become more intimate wid me

Well thats hard... it all depends on the chemistry between you and her and her character. But you cant go wrong by assuring her you love her and convincing her she must marry her own choice (i.e. you). Maybe you could do some symbolic stuff like getting her some kinda ring to make her feel special??

But my guess is that unless she's convinced she'll be able to stay with the guy she has loved and got jiggy with, she wont wanna set her self up to get hurt.

OR, I dont wanna upset you here, its also possible she wants out or is with someone else or has her eye on someone else... maybe its all an excuse! Gotta cover all the basis, right?

[shamhuss]

yeh true have 2 cover all da basis, but im 100% sure she isnt going out wid any1 else or has her eye on any1 else, and she definitely still loves me, well the reason i believe dat is cos she hardly ever goes out of her house, always at home nearly cooking,cleaning shit like dat, also she has always bin honest wid me and she even said 2 me dat i wud be her 1st and if things eva did end last. I know she 100% faithful 2 me.

but dat doesnt stop me being paranoid about it, sumtimes i get da feeling she is lukn at sum1 else and when i ask her about it she says no, or like 2day i thot she was lukn at dis guy and she said she was jst lukn at his eyes cos dey reminded her off mine, but she then reassures me by telling me nobody is better lukn den me and shit like dat.

for instance 2day i tried kissing her on the lips twice she moved away 4rm me, but she was ok wid me kissing her on da cheek, as long as it was away from prying eyes, and before she went home she apologised 4 upsetting me and quote her "being a battywomn" and she seemed genuinely upset

[Nights]

as long as it was away from prying eyes

Well... maybe thats it then, she dont wanna do it publicly.. but thats easy to verify, just try to do it in private...

you can try to make her jealous... get really flirty with a female friend, but this could backfire... My money is on her being insecure about the future (and second, that she wants out, sorry!)

[alum rock gal]

Hey listen i've bin dating dis girl 4 about 1yr 4 months now, we really luvd each uda and we had a great time, never really got upset with each other or anything, u know how ppl dream of finding dat perfect partner well dats what we both had, neways 4 months ago she went pakistan 4 6 weeks, she came bak and said she wanted 2 break up, after pleading with her for weeks and weeks she decided 2 give us a chance again(her excuse 4 breaking up was she didnt feel da same, but i knew it was summat else) so after going out 4 a month i cud tell she luvd me, we were always kissing and stuff, den she told me da reason she had wanted 2 break up was cos she was scared her brothers mite find out and she was havin tuf times at home alredy cos her brother wanted 2 marry his own choice but her parents wernt havin dat and she was scared dat if she kept on going out with me she wud want 2 marry me 2 and wudnt be able 2 let go, well lately she stopped kissing me again and she only eva kisses me on the cheeks, but i know she still has feelings 4 me

well now i have 2 practically get relly upset 2 get a kiss on da cheek 4rm her never mind da lips, and dats is rely pissing me off, according 2 her she felt disgusted by how far we went last year (we dint have sex or any form of sex jst fingering pussy shit like dat) but what i tried expalining 2 her is y shud she be upset we luv d each uda and we displayed that affection, thing is i rely luv her and dont want 2 be wid any uda girl, any advice on how da fuk i can get her 2 be affectionate with me and start kissing me again of her own accord and shit like dat? (swear girls u cant liv wid dem and cant liv widout dem)
Omg Im sho sorry 2 hear that... :( Hope she soon gets back 2 normal wiv u. jus give her time parents can really stress us gals out BUT if she loves u she'l stay with u and not let her family probz get in the way. Remember if u love sum1 and wanna be wiv them u can make it happen no matter wat, so long as the loves a two way ting.. U shud tell her 2 contact u wen she's ready InshALLAH she'l realise how much u mean 2 her. as they sey u onli realise u had sumting good once u'v lost it.. (or sumting like that :sarb: ) Lol
Best of Luck 2 u no matter wat happens!

[shamhuss]

actually i think u mite be right about her being insecure about the future cos she is always making references to it, like how long can we go out before i have 2 get married(arranged) shit like dat, but dont rely know what 2 say 2 counter dat, except enjoy life now wid da person u luv

[shamhuss]

Omg Im sho sorry 2 hear that... :( Hope she soon gets back 2 normal wiv u. jus give her time parents can really stress us gals out BUT if she loves u she'l stay with u and not let her family probz get in the way. Remember if u love sum1 and wanna be wiv them u can make it happen no matter wat, so long as the loves a two way ting.. U shud tell her 2 contact u wen she's ready InshALLAH she'l realise how much u mean 2 her. as they sey u onli realise u had sumting good once u'v lost it.. (or sumting like that :sarb: ) Lol
Best of Luck 2 u no matter wat happens!

thanx 4 the insight i wud rely like 2 get advice 4rm more girls on this cos ders only a limited amount u can get 4rm guys, girls will be able 2 relate 2 her situation much more den guys and maybe shed sum lite on what i shud do

[akuza]

how did i know you were a brit? :no:

[shamhuss]

how did i know you were a brit? :no:


LOL guess dis sort of thing happens alot, especialy here in gud all england, neways whats do u think of da whole thing?

[Just Like Heaven]

wow i've soo been in ur gfs shoes...

last year i went to pak aswell i dont have any family there so my parents kinda tricked me to going there for cultural awareness turned into the whole rishta bullshit... i was away from my bf for a while he was back in the US emailing me like crazy every nite... so one day he had this dream that he went to go buy me a ring ( we are very serious ) to ask me to marry him and he took my friend and when she asked who the ring was for and he said me she said isnt she engaged? ... that really shook him up... and the day he had that dream i was getting engaged.. ( totallypressured to this guy )... it was like i dont knowwhy i even let them talk me into it... it was just easier to give in then to stand alone against my whole family andkeep on saying no for soo long... so when i came back i wanted to break it off with my bf i kept telling him i cudnt marry him cuz hes not the same sect as me and my parents wud never approve... in the end he almost killed him in a car accident because he found out i got engaged... but we stayed together... i broke off the engagment a couple months later.. slowly weaning the idea into my parents... his parents knew about me from the beginning and that helped alot... because he had them to pressure me and make sure i felt secure in our relationship...he also got on his knees (after id broken off my mangni) and officially asked me to marry him ( it was in a dark driving car ( his bestfriend was driving) back seat on his knees lol and he took off the ring he always wore on his finger and gave it to me..) later on he bought me a real white gold saphire ring with diamonds... so alot of that help make me get comfy with him again... the fact that he wudnt leave me no matter wut happened, even if my parents tried to get me married to sum1 else... really was the turning pt in my realtionship where i knew i cud trust him with my body aswell as my soul...
i think if u make her realize how serious u are and how much u love her and how theres no way in hell any1 can pull u away from her... and u will do anything for her... she will open up physically...
now i truely enjoy pleasing my man and he loves to please me... physically as well as emotionally...

[GoddessOfLove720]

u shud respect her wishes.

if u guys reli love each other n r ment 2 b, den u can do all dat after marriage.

i think she mite b afraid dat she went all dat far w/ u n keep going further, n den end up marrying sum1 else, wen shes given everything 2 u, n well.. islamically, das... uhh.. bad. so um... yehh... dun pressure her or nething. if u loved her, u'd love her even if u didnt getta touch each other or w/e... cuz wen guys say "if u love me, prove it"... girls hate dat more den anything, n well, if u love her, u shud respect her n her choices, n let her wen shes ready or ok w/ it.

im sorry if i sounded harsh or w/e.. i didnt reli mean it like dat. just saying frm a girls' point of view.

[shamhuss]

wow i've soo been in ur gfs shoes...

last year i went to pak aswell i dont have any family there so my parents kinda tricked me to going there for cultural awareness turned into the whole rishta bullshit... i was away from my bf for a while he was back in the US emailing me like crazy every nite... so one day he had this dream that he went to go buy me a ring ( we are very serious ) to ask me to marry him and he took my friend and when she asked who the ring was for and he said me she said isnt she engaged? ... that really shook him up... and the day he had that dream i was getting engaged.. ( totallypressured to this guy )... it was like i dont knowwhy i even let them talk me into it... it was just easier to give in then to stand alone against my whole family andkeep on saying no for soo long... so when i came back i wanted to break it off with my bf i kept telling him i cudnt marry him cuz hes not the same sect as me and my parents wud never approve... in the end he almost killed him in a car accident because he found out i got engaged... but we stayed together... i broke off the engagment a couple months later.. slowly weaning the idea into my parents... his parents knew about me from the beginning and that helped alot... because he had them to pressure me and make sure i felt secure in our relationship...he also got on his knees (after id broken off my mangni) and officially asked me to marry him ( it was in a dark driving car ( his bestfriend was driving) back seat on his knees lol and he took off the ring he always wore on his finger and gave it to me..) later on he bought me a real white gold saphire ring with diamonds... so alot of that help make me get comfy with him again... the fact that he wudnt leave me no matter wut happened, even if my parents tried to get me married to sum1 else... really was the turning pt in my realtionship where i knew i cud trust him with my body aswell as my soul...
i think if u make her realize how serious u are and how much u love her and how theres no way in hell any1 can pull u away from her... and u will do anything for her... she will open up physically...
now i truely enjoy pleasing my man and he loves to please me... physically as well as emotionally...


woahhhhh dat deep, but see thats proof dat der can be hapy endings, honestly hope u and him spend da rest of ur lives together happily, i just wish i can have a hapy ending like u :-)

[shamhuss]

u shud respect her wishes.

if u guys reli love each other n r ment 2 b, den u can do all dat after marriage.

i think she mite b afraid dat she went all dat far w/ u n keep going further, n den end up marrying sum1 else, wen shes given everything 2 u, n well.. islamically, das... uhh.. bad. so um... yehh... dun pressure her or nething. if u loved her, u'd love her even if u didnt getta touch each other or w/e... cuz wen guys say "if u love me, prove it"... girls hate dat more den anything, n well, if u love her, u shud respect her n her choices, n let her wen shes ready or ok w/ it.

im sorry if i sounded harsh or w/e.. i didnt reli mean it like dat. just saying frm a girls' point of view.

we do love each uda but u see if i do let her go im afraid i'd lose her 4ever, i have 2 keep fighting 4 her and me, btw point taken on dat islamic issue, but i've told her i agrre wid her that maybe things did go further last year den she liked and i'll make sure they wont go dat far again, thanx 4 ur point of view tho, yh i think i understand dat alot of girls dont like being pressured in 2 dat sort of thing, but that doesnt matter, like 2day she was talkin about marriage and saying her parents hav given her a coice of 4 guys 2 marry and she dunt want 2 marry any of dem, and she has even told me in her perfect world she wud be married 2 me, have four kids etc but seriously tho i dont think letting her go wud be the best thing 2 do, cos if u've bin in luv u shud no letting go of dat isnt easy and it dunt matter about movie view about luv how if u let sum1 go they will eventually cum bak, cos in da real world it dunt work like dat, hope u understanding where i am coming 4rm