Ketamine-Abuse
January 30th, 2006, 08:12 AM
So I've been thinking about my place in histroy and I want to make a mark on the world and be credited with a name check in some sort of annual book. So I though what better way is there to get recognition then to break a record and get myself in The Guiness Book of Records.
Some possible reocrds I am thinking of breaking are:
1. Most clothes pegs on a face in the time it takes to eat a sandwhich. Current record stands at 64 by Peter Holt of Middlexsex. Peters main problem was he didn't like the crust on bread so had that cut of before he ate it. His sandwhichs also lacked any filing as he opted for a Marmite and butter combo.
2. Most cats stroked in an hour. The record currently stands at 1,386.5 and is held by 83 year old Doris Bainbridge of Wiltshire who unintentially broke the record last year after wandering into a cat sancturay. Seven cats failed to survive the ordeal and died within 48 hours. It is possible to break this record because at the time Mr. Carter was (and still is) suffering form Alzheimers and she has no idea hat she currently holds a spot in the book.
3. Shortest time to break a substitute teacher. This record is currently held by Year 10 of Newton Secondary Modern in Manchester who took 3 days 4 hours and 7 minutes to break Ms. Stevens and English teacher from Stockport. This is another record which could be attempted given the right teacher. Ms. Stevens was a mentally stable experienced teacher who was reduced tyo a jibbering wreck within 3 days. This time could be reduced signifcantly with an emotionally fragile female teacher. There is a special mention in the book for Daniel Norris who come from a deprived single parent family and Ms. Steven who commited suicide after the record had been broken.
4. Longest Gurn. This record has stood since 1997 and is held by 62 year old grandfather of 4, Warwick Simmonds of Devon. Simmonds successfully managed to get himself into the book after gurning for 10 straight hours. Some skeptics have tried to get the record removed through the courts after they alleged that Simmonds had been "doped up on extacy". Sadly Warwick passed away last year after having a stroke whilst out "raving". However he died with his world record still intact, but hopefully not for long.
Um so yeah....Which reocrd would you like to break, if you could?
http://www.highschooldublin.com/images/258.jpg
Some possible reocrds I am thinking of breaking are:
1. Most clothes pegs on a face in the time it takes to eat a sandwhich. Current record stands at 64 by Peter Holt of Middlexsex. Peters main problem was he didn't like the crust on bread so had that cut of before he ate it. His sandwhichs also lacked any filing as he opted for a Marmite and butter combo.
2. Most cats stroked in an hour. The record currently stands at 1,386.5 and is held by 83 year old Doris Bainbridge of Wiltshire who unintentially broke the record last year after wandering into a cat sancturay. Seven cats failed to survive the ordeal and died within 48 hours. It is possible to break this record because at the time Mr. Carter was (and still is) suffering form Alzheimers and she has no idea hat she currently holds a spot in the book.
3. Shortest time to break a substitute teacher. This record is currently held by Year 10 of Newton Secondary Modern in Manchester who took 3 days 4 hours and 7 minutes to break Ms. Stevens and English teacher from Stockport. This is another record which could be attempted given the right teacher. Ms. Stevens was a mentally stable experienced teacher who was reduced tyo a jibbering wreck within 3 days. This time could be reduced signifcantly with an emotionally fragile female teacher. There is a special mention in the book for Daniel Norris who come from a deprived single parent family and Ms. Steven who commited suicide after the record had been broken.
4. Longest Gurn. This record has stood since 1997 and is held by 62 year old grandfather of 4, Warwick Simmonds of Devon. Simmonds successfully managed to get himself into the book after gurning for 10 straight hours. Some skeptics have tried to get the record removed through the courts after they alleged that Simmonds had been "doped up on extacy". Sadly Warwick passed away last year after having a stroke whilst out "raving". However he died with his world record still intact, but hopefully not for long.
Um so yeah....Which reocrd would you like to break, if you could?
http://www.highschooldublin.com/images/258.jpg