Thrasher
October 19th, 2005, 11:05 AM
Yeah.. finally lifted my dark lazy bum and checked out the shanty local video parlour for any newish bolly film… shopkeeper shoved this tape saying Bipasha was in it.. (he knows I’m a sucker 4 her).. I call her ‘By-pass a’ Basu, coz’ everytime I see her, my heartbeat stops.. and seems I’ll need a by-pass surgery… *sick (literally) joke*…
But then Wow… saw the title scribbled that read like, ‘No Undie’… and I was like ECSTATIC… hot behind the ears… wow, finally I get to see bolly actresses actually showin some booty instead of just bla bla bla abt getting bold, coming of age and shit…I was like dying to get home, almost ran down a few pedestrians, honked at a trucker to find out this huge gorilla drivin the truck , giving me the kinda looks!!… was good I’d pee’d back home or I wud’ve in my car…
Scrreeeeeeeeeeeeeeecchhhh!!.. tyres cursing me while their ass is one fire; finally I reached home… I start the tape.. and damn… I see Salman ‘Ghan’ (slang in hindi for garbage) in the titles.. and I get the drift.. with him around the only stripin’ wud be him going shirtless and stuff… shhhieet!!…Still I was harboring some hopes.
But then CATASTROPHE!!… the name of the movie is ‘No Entry’ and not ‘No Undie’… and there went all my faint hopes of seeing ‘By-Pass a’ aping monty.. (BTW, anybody on RD knows this Monty guy?… like why do they say going full Monty?).. …
Coming back to the movie.. the other 3 chicks in the movie are not worth watching even if they too go Monty’s way… (again this Monty, Who za Fuck is this Monty??).. There’s Lara ‘Butt-a’ (all bum, no face.. actually they shud exchange ends and then film her.. J ), Isha ‘Devil’ (yeah, something evil abt her eyes), and Celina ‘Jhaat-ley’ (no brief reqd.)….
I can’t understand this fixation of pairing Celina with poor Fart-teen khan… neways, its their money, let them pair him with Jayalalitha or Rabdi devi, 4 all I care..
Aah, I’m supposed to get back to the point of reviewing the story… alas if only there was a story!… Lara Butt-a is a typical desi, rightly doubting her Hubby, Anil ‘Darfur’… (yeah, his face looks like its been thro’ the savage ravage of that state in Sudan..)… Anil’s friend is Sallu ‘Ghan’… as always prancing around with ‘drop dress without any stress’ gora chicks who too want to be like Monty… (Oh Shit… again this fuckin’ Monty dawg is back… some one get him off my back!)
Anil’s wife is the now ‘one in a trillion’ desi who trusts her hubby completely and gives him the leash… of course Sallu dawg stretches the leash, and gets Anil Darfur too to go his way.. thank goodness they didn’t make Anil strip and dance like Sallu Ghan… Or u’d be treated to the most Scary (aka Hairy) experience of your life!! Hair Hair Everywhere, not a crop to shrink!
The movie also has Fart-teen Khan.. (no idea what for).. playing the errand boy for Darfur… marrying ‘By-Pass a’ , but then he actually wants to marry Jhaat-ley, whose parents think that Darfur is actually married to ‘By-Pass a’, whereas ‘By-Pass a’ is game to marry anyone, even it be a gujju baniya, who crops up in the movie every now and then.. BTW, is he the legendary Monty?...
U confused?… I’m gone-fused…my fuse has blown off now… what the fack was I watching this movie for, whereas there were so many fine dames waiting at RD for me…
My final take… Producer, Director and the rest of the team of this crap movie shud be paraded in no undie, and made to find out the complete whereabouts of this Monty guy… only then will I have my Kroner’s worth!!!
But then Wow… saw the title scribbled that read like, ‘No Undie’… and I was like ECSTATIC… hot behind the ears… wow, finally I get to see bolly actresses actually showin some booty instead of just bla bla bla abt getting bold, coming of age and shit…I was like dying to get home, almost ran down a few pedestrians, honked at a trucker to find out this huge gorilla drivin the truck , giving me the kinda looks!!… was good I’d pee’d back home or I wud’ve in my car…
Scrreeeeeeeeeeeeeeecchhhh!!.. tyres cursing me while their ass is one fire; finally I reached home… I start the tape.. and damn… I see Salman ‘Ghan’ (slang in hindi for garbage) in the titles.. and I get the drift.. with him around the only stripin’ wud be him going shirtless and stuff… shhhieet!!…Still I was harboring some hopes.
But then CATASTROPHE!!… the name of the movie is ‘No Entry’ and not ‘No Undie’… and there went all my faint hopes of seeing ‘By-Pass a’ aping monty.. (BTW, anybody on RD knows this Monty guy?… like why do they say going full Monty?).. …
Coming back to the movie.. the other 3 chicks in the movie are not worth watching even if they too go Monty’s way… (again this Monty, Who za Fuck is this Monty??).. There’s Lara ‘Butt-a’ (all bum, no face.. actually they shud exchange ends and then film her.. J ), Isha ‘Devil’ (yeah, something evil abt her eyes), and Celina ‘Jhaat-ley’ (no brief reqd.)….
I can’t understand this fixation of pairing Celina with poor Fart-teen khan… neways, its their money, let them pair him with Jayalalitha or Rabdi devi, 4 all I care..
Aah, I’m supposed to get back to the point of reviewing the story… alas if only there was a story!… Lara Butt-a is a typical desi, rightly doubting her Hubby, Anil ‘Darfur’… (yeah, his face looks like its been thro’ the savage ravage of that state in Sudan..)… Anil’s friend is Sallu ‘Ghan’… as always prancing around with ‘drop dress without any stress’ gora chicks who too want to be like Monty… (Oh Shit… again this fuckin’ Monty dawg is back… some one get him off my back!)
Anil’s wife is the now ‘one in a trillion’ desi who trusts her hubby completely and gives him the leash… of course Sallu dawg stretches the leash, and gets Anil Darfur too to go his way.. thank goodness they didn’t make Anil strip and dance like Sallu Ghan… Or u’d be treated to the most Scary (aka Hairy) experience of your life!! Hair Hair Everywhere, not a crop to shrink!
The movie also has Fart-teen Khan.. (no idea what for).. playing the errand boy for Darfur… marrying ‘By-Pass a’ , but then he actually wants to marry Jhaat-ley, whose parents think that Darfur is actually married to ‘By-Pass a’, whereas ‘By-Pass a’ is game to marry anyone, even it be a gujju baniya, who crops up in the movie every now and then.. BTW, is he the legendary Monty?...
U confused?… I’m gone-fused…my fuse has blown off now… what the fack was I watching this movie for, whereas there were so many fine dames waiting at RD for me…
My final take… Producer, Director and the rest of the team of this crap movie shud be paraded in no undie, and made to find out the complete whereabouts of this Monty guy… only then will I have my Kroner’s worth!!!